Paranoid DCM

[jenboo]

Maybe give mom a handout that explains the difference between gagging and choking and then give her one that lists unsafe foods.
Then proceed to feed her your normal meals and tell mom how well she ate and how well she chewed her food....

[Leigh]

So mom to my 16 month old DCG is driving me insane. She is scared to feed this child. She is so afraid of choking she won't give her many foods. The other day she told me "well it is so hard to find things she can eat". One day she told me, well I peel her grapes. I told her to cut them and she will be fine and she said she can't chew the skin. Today I told her we are making pizzas for lunch tomorrow because my SA DCB will be here. She says "well don't give her any pepperoni, oh and make sure she doesn't get any cheese she can choke on that stringy cheese". She is young, just graduated last year, but that is getting insane. Basically she doesn't want me to feed DCG anything that could cause her to choke, and really anything can cause that. The other day I told her we had peaches for lunch and she said "oh I never have given her those, what if she chokes?". I of course feed DCG as normal with no issues but geesh. I have not once seen DCG even act like she was going to choke. Spit out foods because they are new to her yes, choke no. Any of you had a parent like this? If so how did you get them to realize that learning to eat is part of living and growing?

I had a parent like this. Her child wouldn't eat anything I gave him. After a few days, I took out a jar of baby food, and he got really excited. He gobbled it down. Turns out, this 16 month old was still eating baby food at home, and drinking from a bottle. That his mom held for him. He could NOT hold his own bottle when he started with me. He came SO far while he was with me, but his mom showed up at snack time one day, saw him sitting at the table with the big kids and feeding himself, and pulled him. She WANTED him to be fed by an adult, not to self feed. She was just INSANE...he had been cared for previously by an elderly woman who loved to feed him and hold him all day. This DCM apparently thought I was cruel by having him sit at the table to eat instead of in my lap.

[Play Care]

One center we looked at (and really liked) would not feed a child anything that the child did not eat at home at least 3 times due to allergy concerns. Mom needs to tell you what she has fed her and what she can eat safely so that you can decide what you are comfortable feeding her.

This is my policy for infants under 1.

By 1 and older they are eating what everyone else does. This is in my contract and I make a point to highlight it when interviewing parents of infants. I do however reassure parents that all meals are consumed under my direct supervision and food is cut up in very tiny pieces as is appropriate. My younger child choked on popcorn a couple of years ago and it is scary and I do understand/appreciate the reason for the fear.

IME, extended feeding of infant foods can indicate delays or disorders or hide them which means the child isn't going to get the EI that might be beneficial. In addition many providers participate in the CACFP (the federal food program) and are mandated to feed kids of certain ages in certain ways. This is to ensure that toddlers and preschoolers are getting a varied and healthy diet.

On a side note, as a parent I found meals so much more relaxing when I no longer had to feed my own kids baby foods and could serve everyone the same dinner.

[Rockgirl]

Just my opinion, but I think those pouches of food are causing a whole new set of feeding problems. Sure, they are convenient, but if it's the only way foods are introduced and presented....I just see problems ahead.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

I read that the baby food pouches are leading to toddlers lacking self feeding skills with silverware. Some kids are given those pouches up to age 3 and 4 and they have no concept on how to use a spoon or fork and also have issues with texture in food. I will see if I can find the article, but I am not a fan of those things for daily feeding. I will sometimes get the applesauce ones for roadtrips or if we go to a restaurant (a little appetizer for the kiddos), but they are a "treat", not a daily occurrence. Dcm brought me a huge bag of them for her 18 month old and I tossed them in the cupboard where they have been ever since. She loves eating like a big kid and is one of the best at eating with utensils.

[Thriftylady]

I have kind of chalked it up in some ways to parents not wanting to deal with a mess. I know that is what was going on with my grandson at one point, they didn't want him to get messy. I know here, I just accept things get messy . I guess I wonder when it became not okay for a kid to get dirty? They still clean up just as easily as they always did.

[MommyMuffin]

Maybe you should tell her that you make all the children the same meal and cut it to appropriate sizes for the child. Even explain a little that you have a schedule and cannot make two different lunches due to needing to care and watch all the children.

Let her know that if it puts her at ease you are indeed cpr certified.
Then I would let her know that you will notify her of the next days lunch at pick up and if it is something she does not want her daughter to eat then she is welcome to bring a different lunch for her.

If you are on the food program I am not sure how that would work...perhaps if she brings her lunch you don't count that meal.

This way you are being respectful and giving her options without sacrificing your time to prepare a different meal.
I tell myself if I am honest to myself and to the parent and give options when able I will not be sorry or worry about offending them.

[Thriftylady]

Well she and I hashed that out already as far as DCG will eat the same foods as everyone else. Mom had wanted to provide foods, but was going to bring baby food, and I refuse to feed a child that age baby food. I just feed her as normal, but mom just gives her a very few select things. I just wish I could get mom to understand that she can eat foods.