Parent and Staff Issue, HELP, IDEAS

[daycare]

I have a large daycare with about 24 kids enrolled. 14 can attend at one time.

Every year I throw different parties and events. Usually some are pretty big events.

Well a few weeks ago we had a big event that took place where we had just about all of the kids and some of the parents attend. It was on a normal day of operation, Friday.

I was running the show that day and I didn't really have any issues. But after a staff meeting the following Monday, all of my staff agreed that they hated working the event due to the parents that came, they did not control their child's behavior. It was only the kids that had a parent in attendance that were the kids that had issues.

Now for me, I have no problem taking over for a parent if they fail to parent their child. I will also tell the parent to take care of it when they are present. My staff told me they were not comfortable parenting the child when the parent was present. I told them then don't complain if you aren't willing to jump in..Of course they said they shouldn't have to jump in, th parents should. I do agree 100% with what they are saying. BUT if the parent doesn't then someone has to is how I see it.

ALSO, my parents are told before the party that they must parent their child and are given a list of our basic rules an expectations of their child behavior so that they can enforce them when they are with us. Guess that didn't really work.

So now all of my staff says they don't want to do any more events because of this reason. I am feeling conflicted, because this is how friendships are made with the other families and I love doing events.

BUT if I don't have any staff support, what am I to do?

How would you guys handle this? I need to figure something out soon, we have our next big event coming up in a few weeks. Preschool graduation for 7 kids, and all of them have siblings, some that attend our program.

HELP

[Crystal]

DC----you know I love ya, but I have to say what you did is against regs. If you had more than the 14 legally allowable children there, whether parents are there or not, you would be cited for being over capacity if licensing were to show up. You could possibly be shut down, depending on how over capcity you were. I say go with what your staff have said and no longer host such big events.....

Please don't take offense, like I said, you know I love ya, that's why I am giving you this advice.

ETA: I assume you had more than 14, as you said you have 24 enrolled and MOST of the children were there. If I misunderstood, my apologies.

[daycare]

I did have this at a park and cleared with licensing.

I only had my 14 that I was allowed and the rest of the kids had their parents with them.

BUt yes you are right, if I didn't have those parents there with their child that are not normally on a scheduled day and I held it at my house, then I would have been in trouble for over the limits.

[daycare]

and thank you for double checking. I know some people don't realize that even having a party could put them over limits.

[AuntTami]

Could you tell the parents that if they don't, can't, or won't handle their children, they will be asked to leave? Tell them your staff is upset and doesn't want to have any further parties and if the parents want them to continue and enjoy them; they need to handle their children.

My first suggestion was to stop letting parents come but I see now that that's not an option due to ratios. Lol

[daycare]

Could you tell the parents that if they don't, can't, or won't handle their children, they will be asked to leave? Tell them your staff is upset and doesn't want to have any further parties and if the parents want them to continue and enjoy them; they need to handle their children.

My first suggestion was to stop letting parents come but I see now that that's not an option due to ratios. Lol

I guess that really is the only thing that I can do. Now that i am aware of it, I could tell the parents this.

I could also hold it on a saturday, but then all of the parents would be present.

At the event, there were a few times that I did tell one of the kids that the next time he didn't listen he was going to go home with dad. I gave dcd the eye and he caught on, but my staff didn't tell me anything the day of. BUT I was super busy, so perhaps they didn't have the opportunity to tell me.


Do you think that it would be wrong if I wrote a letter about this for the next event saying that parents that do not control their child's behavior will be asked to leave the event and those in attendance will not get a refund or credit.

I had about 9 parents that day, which most of were of kids that normally don't attend on Friday...

[Shell]

I guess that really is the only thing that I can do. Now that i am aware of it, I could tell the parents this.

I could also hold it on a saturday, but then all of the parents would be present.

At the event, there were a few times that I did tell one of the kids that the next time he didn't listen he was going to go home with dad. I gave dcd the eye and he caught on, but my staff didn't tell me anything the day of. BUT I was super busy, so perhaps they didn't have the opportunity to tell me.


Do you think that it would be wrong if I wrote a letter about this for the next event saying that parents that do not control their child's behavior will be asked to leave the event and those in attendance will not get a refund or credit.

I had about 9 parents that day, which most of were of kids that normally don't attend on Friday...

I think a letter is totally reasonable.

As far as your staff, I can understand that they are fed up- they have a right to be. But, they are your employees and if you want to have parties, they need to work them. Jmho.

[Thriftylady]

I think you should be really firm when the next event comes along. Tell the parents in writing that if they cannot keep their child in control, they will be asked to leave as soon as a staff member feels there is a problem. And then tell your staff to come to you if there is an issue.

[daycare]

I think a letter is totally reasonable.

As far as your staff, I can understand that they are fed up- they have a right to be. But, they are your employees and if you want to have parties, they need to work them. Jmho.

I do feel for them, but at the same time, sometimes we have to do things we don't like. Like parenting a child with a present parent. I have told them this in the past.

parents know and are expected to back my rules at all times.

I can see where my staff felt intimidated to say something to the parents or the child, but just letting it go on makes it worse.

I am having another staff meeting and will tell them that i want to improve this for everyone sake, but i will continue to hold events and i will also be certain to address this issue before hand.

I will have to type something up soon because we have another one in a few weeks.

thanks for your feed back. I don't feel as stressed any more.

[childcaremom]

Maybe offer some suggestions on how to approach the parent when/if the issue arise? I can understand it would be awkward so maybe some scenarios and 'prepared lines' would make it easier for them.

[daycare]

I think you should be really firm when the next event comes along. Tell the parents in writing that if they cannot keep their child in control, they will be asked to leave as soon as a staff member feels there is a problem. And then tell your staff to come to you if there is an issue.

yes...this. I do need to tell my staff they need to address it with either me or the parent right away. Of course, I would be the one to have to tell the parent the child has to leave. WHICH I can only imagine what would come of that....UGH..

My dcks are very well behaved kids. Don't get me wrong, we have issues here and there every once in awhile, but for the most part, the kids are awesome.

I have some great parents and then some that well let's just leave that alone....insert big cheesy smile here.

[Thriftylady]

I understand you saying it is the job. But are they worried they will loose their job if they upset the parent and the parent complains to you or even worse leaves care over it? They may not be saying that but it may be the issue.

[daycare]

I understand you saying it is the job. But are they worried they will loose their job if they upset the parent and the parent complains to you or even worse leaves care over it? They may not be saying that but it may be the issue.

they didn't really get in to detail, but that is a great thing you brought up and I should probably tell them that if they see it, next time they should report it to me right away and I will take care of it, that way they are not going to make anyone mad, me or the parent.

again great point bringing that up.

I could totally see them not wanting to for that reason.

Me on the other hand, if I make you mad because I have to parent your child, you nest be happy that is all I had to do.

[Thriftylady]

they didn't really get in to detail, but that is a great thing you brought up and I should probably tell them that if they see it, next time they should report it to me right away and I will take care of it, that way they are not going to make anyone mad, me or the parent.

again great point bringing that up.

I could totally see them not wanting to for that reason.

Me on the other hand, if I make you mad because I have to parent your child, you nest be happy that is all I had to do.

Yeah, me also, but in this situation you are also "the boss lady". If it is you or me, we run the place we make the rules.

[Unregistered]

I think you should be really firm when the next event comes along. Tell the parents in writing that if they cannot keep their child in control, they will be asked to leave as soon as a staff member feels there is a problem. And then tell your staff to come to you if there is an issue.

People have different opinions and views of what "in control" means. My set of rules is completely different than someone else or your business. If you have certain rules you expect then your staff needs to be enforcing them with everyone.