Tough decision- help!

[hgonzalez]

One of my goals for this year was to try to run my daycare more like a business and make decisions that help my business and my income and not base my decisions on pure emotion. Now it is time for me to make a tough decision and I don't know what to do.

I have two kids that have been with me almost 3 years. Oldest going into Kindergarten, youngest is 3. The oldest is in the Autism spectrum and difficult to deal with. The youngest has issues as well,very little speech and has frequent meltdowns, OCD behaviors, but a sweetie otherwise. The parents are not the best, nice but lazy. The kids both receive services through our school district, the parents don't take them to any 'outside' speech or behavioral therapists. They have had lots of family issues since being here. They bounced their first check to me, lost their house, moved and now DCD has been unemployed for 5 months. They still send their kids to my daycare, even though he isn't working. It feels like it is just a matter of time before they leave. When they have had issues, they have not once told me upfront about them, I had to figure it out and ask them based on what their child was telling me. I feel that they are somewhat dishonest.

My group is changing drastically in the Fall, I have two kids going off to Kindergarten and two babies starting. I am concerned about the behavioral issues with the oldest boy with Autism. I can't see that fitting in with the group and I would still have him before and after school. My group with be younger, more impressionable and more vulnerable.

I decided to start pursuing replacing this family. I have several interviews next week. If I get any of those kids, I would be able to retain all of them over the summer, but then would have to let the old family go in September. I am worried about the kids, but know it would be best for my group if they are gone.

WWYD? Would you continue to interview for a replacement family, and then let them go in the Fall? Or would you continue to hang in there with them and see if they eventually leave due to his unemployment?

[bklsmum]

I would try to replace them as soon as possible. Trying to wait them out may never work so why take the chance? If you know they have to go then work towards that.

[Unregistered]

I would replace them.

I get very stressed with behavior problems. It's hard in FCC because there is no one to help you out or take over if things get really stressful. In a center an assistant can help with challenging behavior children.

I know my limits and if I had a young group coming in and I was having ongoing issues with the parents as well as the children, I'd look for another family.

[Thriftylady]

I would replace them. If dad isn't working there is no reason he can't care for them, except he may not want to deal with the issues. You have to do what is best for you.

[KiddieCahoots]

It sounds like you're already in motion to replace this family. Don't second guess your gut feeling.
As my daughter would say..."Rick roll with it!" ....

[TomCopeland]

What to do?

I've written an article using some of the facts in this case.

http://www.tomcopelandblog.com/2015/07/must-you-follow-any-rules-when-ending-a-contract-with-a-parent.html

[hgonzalez]

update

A quick update on this situation. The 5 yr old was evaluated at a local Autism Center and the parents said he did not test out as having 'Autism'. Nothing was diagnosed. The parents have never been upfront about anything, so I am not sure if this is all even true. But, because they have communicated with me that he does not have a 'disability' I will be terminating care with them.

His behavior is completely out of control including unsafe behaviors both inside and outside of my daycare home. I have a second visit tomorrow from a family interested in enrolling, so if all goes well, I will be giving notice tomorrow at pickup time. He refuses to cooperate with me on a daily basis, putting the other children at risk. Last week, he refused to come in from outside when it was time. He sat there, tightly grasping his legs, laughing. My son was home on a work break and when he came out to see what was going on, the boy stood up and followed the rest of us in. He throws toys, knocks over chairs, screams at the top of his lungs when he doesn't like what I have decided (clean up, lunch etc.), throws his plate across the table at meals etc.

I had my re-licensing visit and my licensor observed his behavior and agreed with me about the decision to terminate. Pertaining to this child's behavior, I have communicated with them on a regular basis, met with them in the evening in their home, and wrote up a 'behavior plan' based on the meeting etc. He is receiving services via the school district, but nothing else.

Tom, my question is this: My termination policy reads as follows 'Daycare services may be terminated by the parent/legal guardian or myself, the provider, by giving written notice two weeks in advance of the termination date. Fees are due in full for this two week period regardless of whether your child attends day care or not. If you give me notice longer than two weeks that my services will no longer be required, all fees are due and payable up until the end date that was provided to me in the initial termination notice. At the time a notice is given by either party, the remaining fees are to be paid to me in cash on the date of the notice. As your provider, I am not required to give advance notice of termination under the following circumstances: non-payment of fees, non-compliance with any policies, communicating with me in a disrespectful manner, non-compliance with my illness policy, and behavior by your child or yourself that is physically unsafe for other children in my care, myself or my home environment.'

I am planning on terminating on Monday pickup or Tuesday morning. I will be asking for remaining fees to be paid upfront, and their children may attend during that time. If the 5 yr old does anything unsafe during that 2 week period, can I ask to not have him here based on the behavior? I am not initially doing an immediate termination, because I need the money until a new child enrolls. Can I immediate terminate after I have given a 2 week termination notice?

Hopefully you will read this before it all goes down. Thank you in advance!

[Thriftylady]

I think if you take two weeks payment and then term immediately, you should refund the remaining amount of the payment. Not saying you have to, just it would seem shady to me if you didn't, due to the fact you KNOW there is likely to be a behavior issue. Other than the money part, I see no reason you can't do an immediate term during that time. I would put in the term notice what items would require an immediate term.

[TomCopeland]

termination

A quick update on this situation. The 5 yr old was evaluated at a local Autism Center and the parents said he did not test out as having 'Autism'. Nothing was diagnosed. The parents have never been upfront about anything, so I am not sure if this is all even true. But, because they have communicated with me that he does not have a 'disability' I will be terminating care with them.

His behavior is completely out of control including unsafe behaviors both inside and outside of my daycare home. I have a second visit tomorrow from a family interested in enrolling, so if all goes well, I will be giving notice tomorrow at pickup time. He refuses to cooperate with me on a daily basis, putting the other children at risk. Last week, he refused to come in from outside when it was time. He sat there, tightly grasping his legs, laughing. My son was home on a work break and when he came out to see what was going on, the boy stood up and followed the rest of us in. He throws toys, knocks over chairs, screams at the top of his lungs when he doesn't like what I have decided (clean up, lunch etc.), throws his plate across the table at meals etc.

I had my re-licensing visit and my licensor observed his behavior and agreed with me about the decision to terminate. Pertaining to this child's behavior, I have communicated with them on a regular basis, met with them in the evening in their home, and wrote up a 'behavior plan' based on the meeting etc. He is receiving services via the school district, but nothing else.

Tom, my question is this: My termination policy reads as follows 'Daycare services may be terminated by the parent/legal guardian or myself, the provider, by giving written notice two weeks in advance of the termination date. Fees are due in full for this two week period regardless of whether your child attends day care or not. If you give me notice longer than two weeks that my services will no longer be required, all fees are due and payable up until the end date that was provided to me in the initial termination notice. At the time a notice is given by either party, the remaining fees are to be paid to me in cash on the date of the notice. As your provider, I am not required to give advance notice of termination under the following circumstances: non-payment of fees, non-compliance with any policies, communicating with me in a disrespectful manner, non-compliance with my illness policy, and behavior by your child or yourself that is physically unsafe for other children in my care, myself or my home environment.'

I am planning on terminating on Monday pickup or Tuesday morning. I will be asking for remaining fees to be paid upfront, and their children may attend during that time. If the 5 yr old does anything unsafe during that 2 week period, can I ask to not have him here based on the behavior? I am not initially doing an immediate termination, because I need the money until a new child enrolls. Can I immediate terminate after I have given a 2 week termination notice?

Hopefully you will read this before it all goes down. Thank you in advance!

Because the child does not have a disability, you can terminate immediately because of the child's dangerous behavior. You can also continue to provide care as long as the parent is paying you in advance, according to your contract.

[hgonzalez]

Update again!

Well, I had the termination letter all ready to go. I actually signed up a child the same day to replace the younger sibling!

Well, at drop off, the family comes in with 2 weeks worth of payment and a verbal termination!! They say they can no longer afford daycare due to Dad's unemployment. (I asked for a written termination, don't worry!).

In my 18 plus years of doing daycare, I had never had someone term the same day I was going to terminate them, and have a 'replacement' child signed up the same day. Crazy!!

It got me off the hook for having to have a difficult discussion with the termed family. What a lucky break!

[Blackcat31]

Well, I had the termination letter all ready to go. I actually signed up a child the same day to replace the younger sibling!

Well, at drop off, the family comes in with 2 weeks worth of payment and a verbal termination!! They say they can no longer afford daycare due to Dad's unemployment. (I asked for a written termination, don't worry!).

In my 18 plus years of doing daycare, I had never had someone term the same day I was going to terminate them, and have a 'replacement' child signed up the same day. Crazy!!

It got me off the hook for having to have a difficult discussion with the termed family. What a lucky break!

happyface

That's awesome! I love when things work themselves out!

[Heidi]

Well, I had the termination letter all ready to go. I actually signed up a child the same day to replace the younger sibling!

Well, at drop off, the family comes in with 2 weeks worth of payment and a verbal termination!! They say they can no longer afford daycare due to Dad's unemployment. (I asked for a written termination, don't worry!).

In my 18 plus years of doing daycare, I had never had someone term the same day I was going to terminate them, and have a 'replacement' child signed up the same day. Crazy!!

It got me off the hook for having to have a difficult discussion with the termed family. What a lucky break!

Sometimes, it does all just fall in to place!