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What does attached parenting look like ?
did I spell that right ? ...
did I spell that right ? ...
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Usually there is co sleeping involved. Many times the child is held constantly. The parent(s) will do anything to stop crying in most cases. I am sure someone has a better answer, but to me that about sums it up. -
"The long-range vision of Attachment Parenting is to raise children who will become adults with a highly developed capacity for empathy and connection. It eliminates violence as a means for raising children, and ultimately helps to prevent violence in society as a whole.
The essence of Attachment Parenting is about forming and nurturing strong connections between parents and their children. Attachment Parenting challenges parents to treat their children with kindness, respect and dignity, and to model their interactions with them the way they'd like them to interact with others." (http://www.attachmentparenting.org/)
There are 8 basic principles of Attachment Parenting:
- Prepare for Pregnancy, Birth, and Parenting
- Feed with Love and Respect
- Respond with Sensitivity
- Use Nurturing Touch
- Ensure Safe Sleep, Physically and Emotionally
- Provide Consistent and Loving Care
- Practice Positive Discipline
- Strive for Balance in Your Personal and Family Life
Google Attachment Parenting and you will find TONS of resources about it.
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I was going to copy and paste part of this, but it got too long (and interesting) to do that. There is even an blurb about childcare.
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Well most of the "attachment parents" I have had, do not do safe sleep!Comment
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I know!
Did you read the part about "childcare injury"?
You see, when a child is physically or emotionally hurt, a parent must scoop them up and hold them until the child is comforted, done crying, and gives the message that he is ready to move on. EVERY TIME. EVERY "INJURY".
Can you imagine the injury we inflict on these children daily? I mean, just today, I told one little dumpling (age 2 years, 7 months) quite firmly to get her tuckus moving because we were all waiting for her! And her, with no parent to come running cuddle her and help her wash her hands! The travesty!Comment
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I know!
Did you read the part about "childcare injury"?
You see, when a child is physically or emotionally hurt, a parent must scoop them up and hold them until the child is comforted, done crying, and gives the message that he is ready to move on. EVERY TIME. EVERY "INJURY".
Can you imagine the injury we inflict on these children daily? I mean, just today, I told one little dumpling (age 2 years, 7 months) quite firmly to get her tuckus moving because we were all waiting for her! And her, with no parent to come running cuddle her and help her wash her hands! The travesty!:
I've done my fair share of "damaging" today myself...
I think I've said "Go play!"
"Because I said so..." and "It's not your business, that's why."Comment
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I don't take parents who co-sleep with their children in my daycare anymore. I also ask them before they if they have thought about not returning to work. That a daycare provider can not lay down and cuddle with child(ren) during nap time. I am baffled by this style of parenting. Children are usually really insecure, unsure and fearful of new experiences and are 99.9% of the time the WORST nappers I have ever had. This style of parenting is for those parents who wish to NEVER return to the work force until their child starts kindergarten...and then bless the poor teacher that has to cut the apron strings!
YIKES!Comment
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Attachment parenting, in my experience, has been bed sharing, extended breast feeding, no cry, carry baby around. It makes for a hard transition to daycare for most. I am not a fan of it, but to each their own, as long as they know little dck will be laying down for naps in its own crib alone and will not be rocked to sleep. You can do whatever you want with your kid, but if you want to leave them at daycare for 10+ hours a day, then you need to set them up for success.Comment
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I've seen first hand where AP style parents will NOT say it's time to go, just wait around and hope JR. Will decide to go. They don't want anything to ever be negative or bring tears. The child NEEDS an adult to step in to help him, to make a decision, yet he's left to make the decicisions. It's mind boggling. It stretches parents very thin.
When parents (and providers) place boundaries on behavior it fosters feelings of security. With imposed boundaries eventually comes self-regulation.
I've seen the shear terror when mom walks out of the room....that look is like nothing I've seen on a child before, like a saber tooth tiger is after them.
I'm assuming it is suppose to foster security in kids, but I know that in some kids it seems like the opposite! They are terrified to be without their parent. It seems to emotionally cripple some! Maybe that's strong langauage, but that's what I perceive.
I'm all for caring for kids with understanding, gentleness, & encouragement.but IMHO. AP is crazy stuff! Maybe it works in the long run. Maybe there's something about it that's wonderful.....maybe there's something I'm missing, but I don't see it.Comment
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Ohhh Man AP is my worst nightmare as a childcare provider, not because i want them to be attached to me but hello? when will these children learn independence. I still have the first child i opened with and even though its been a complete 180 with her, now 3, dcm is the issue. she carries her in EVERY SINGLE MORNING shes not some twigg either!! and to top it off she tries to do this hand off thing with me that we found worked 2 yrs ago and she still thinks it needs to be done haha I started telling her to set her down, but she still tries
and she still wont go to bed till 11pm unless shes in parents bed. Whatever she naps here and it works for me. But the kid has to grow up sometime. Me and my ds didnt do the ap it was not for me or him and i love that he is independent and spirited but still has compassion and empathy
AzchildcarepvdrComment
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I think that the problem lies in labelling parenting and then writing books about it and then having parents preach the contents. I have interviewed 3 families lately who tell me they are this type of parent and follow this book. Um, what? Next!
The last family that came through couldn't accept that I wouldn't wear their child when he was upset or that I would put him down to bed awake. I explained that I have other kids in my care (what happens if they are upset, should I wear them all?) and she nursed her child to sleep. I calmly told her that I couldn't replicate that here (never mind that my baby weaned 7 years ago). They left in tears b/c they couldn't understand why daycare required them to change their baby's entire life.
The big issue, for me, is independent sleeping. If a child cannot nap independently, I don't want them here. Period. It sounds harsh but I can't take the crying. It breaks my heart and causes my blood pressure to go through the roof.
ETA: I coslept and extended bf. It worked for us because I didn't plan to work outside the home. And I didn't consider myself AP. Just a parent.Comment
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I've said this before, but just the phrase "attached parenting" makes me cringe. It somehow implies that those of us who did NOT breastfeed and cosleep or occasionally let our babies cry it out........are somehow not attached to our children. Somehow, I apparently just don't love my kids as much as they do. I don't judge people for practicing AP, but somehow they always seem to be judging me for NOT practicing it. My oldest is 20, and he is so "attached" he is still living at home. ::
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