New Goal Today

[Cozy_Kids_Childcare]

I'm going to try an not use the word NO today. I'm going to try an let the kids solve their own conflicts. I have a strong willed 2year old and a sneaky aggressive 4 year old. So we shall see how this goes.......

What other words do you guys use instead of NO...

[childcaremom]

Gentle hands.
Indoor feet.
We talk nicely to our friends.

That kind of thing. I save 'no' for emergencies.

I also like to let them try to resolve conflicts on their own. My older ones are 3 and 5 so I only step in as needed.

[Blackcat31]

What other words do you guys use instead of NO...

I don't have a lot of alternate words for "No" but I can dole out a pretty good stink eye......that says ALOT more than I need to verbalize............

[Cozy_Kids_Childcare]

I don't have a lot of alternate words for "No" but I can dole out a pretty good stink eye......that says ALOT more than I need to verbalize............

Lol.... Love it

[Unregistered]

I don't have a lot of alternate words for "No" but I can dole out a pretty good stink eye......that says ALOT more than I need to verbalize............

I'm the same. I use more non-verbal cues too. I do a clearing my throat noise/call child's name to get attention than give the eye look. Most times when they know they are doing something not ok they automatically look at me anyway and I just give the look. When I worked at a preschool a parent asked if he could take my eyes home because he had been trying to tell his two children to clean up so they could leave. They ignored him for few minutes. I finally called their names, gave the look, and they hurriedly cleaned up. He couldn't believe that's all it took.

[Unregistered]

A lot of times, I hear people say 'use your words' or 'you two have to work it out' or something equally unhelpful. These kids don't know what words to use! Even @ 4 and 5 years old. If someone takes someone's toy or hits someone for taking the toy. The adult can't just say 'use your words'. But I see it practically every day! We have to tell the child 'tell him you don't like that... Ask him if you can have a turn when he's done... Tell him what you want, and then he'll know, and he MIGHT even give it to you- and he might not, and that's his choice.' What about teaching the kids HOW to make a plan when there's a conflict. Instead of seeing the hit and saying 'no hitting, give johnny a turn'. State the problem 'you both want the train. There's only one Thomas train:/... What can we do?... Don't know? What if you played with this or that, or both have a five minute turn, or go play Thomas dress up'... Etc. Then help them follow through. ... If its not a toy wanting issue, but someone was hit or offended by words or something, I have the offended one tell the offender and if they are nervous, I go with them, say 'johnny wants to tell you something... (Nothing) he wants to say he doesn't like it when you call him a baby. Be wants you to stop.'... Etc. Eventually the kids get the tools and experience and can do conflict resolution on their own (somewhat). If its a rule thing like 'no, don't jump off the couch', I'm sure we all know by now, we use the positive comment instead: 'sit on the couch... We can jump off the step outside later if you want to jump'... Or whatever else.
Good luck with no nos today!...

[Controlled Chaos]

I am working on using my "joyful" and "kind" voice more. I am a loud person, so if I have a grumpy voice I think it sounds a little scary. I went through a grumpy phase last month (very difficult temporary brothers). Now that I am full with kids that are here to stay (for a bit hopefully ) I am focusing back on being more attentive to them emotionally. I used to be soooo good at that, but I let it slide.

Good luck with nos