Sneaky Kids

[Leigh]

What do you do with kids who are always sneaking around?

I have a 4yo who just started and won't eat anything (he's been in foster care for 2 weeks and apparently lived on McDonalds-he told me he only likes McNuggets and cake). His foster parents are just as frustrated with him as I.

Yesterday, he refused lunch. Again. He knows how it goes. Take it or leave it. Snack is in 3 hours. I'm not hungry. I go to feed the baby and see him sneak into my kitchen and then crawl under my kitchen table with 5 bags of fruit snacks. I sent him to time out. Today, I sent him out of my kitchen more than 10 times. There's some leftover birthday cake inside my microwave, and he saw it this morning. He's been scheming on how he's going to get some since he saw what was for lunch today.

I DON'T want this kid to be starving (and every day, the kid acts like he is), but I am not going to cater to him, either. He gets what I make or he waits to see if he likes what I serve next (he won't).

Most of this behavior is associated with him trying to find food that he WILL eat, but he lies about other things, as well, and is sneaky with other stuff, such as trying to sneak toys out of my son't closet that he knows is off-limits.

Seriously, I don't know what I should do. I suppose I feel sorry for him being in foster care, and don't want to seem too harsh, but I also am not wiling to let him get away with what he's trying, either. He's used to doing whatever he wants, so rules are tough for him.

[AuntTami]

Can you put safety locks on your cupboards and cabinets? He can't sneak it if he can't get to it! Besides that..... I have no idea!

[KSDC]

Poor kid. I can only imagine what his life was like before foster care.

I would keep up what you are doing. Offer a variety of healthy choices. And keep your kitchen on lock down so that he doesn't have the option of sneaking into the junk foods.

I used to do foster care. With a lot of love and patience, you can eventually get through to him.

[Leigh]

Poor kid. I can only imagine what his life was like before foster care.

I would keep up what you are doing. Offer a variety of healthy choices. And keep your kitchen on lock down so that he doesn't have the option of sneaking into the junk foods.

I used to do foster care. With a lot of love and patience, you can eventually get through to him.

With another kid, I probably wouldn't be questioning what to do, but with fosters, I always try to figure out WHY they do what they do and obsess over whether I'm going to "screw them up" by enforcing a consequence. I'm a foster parent, too, and I've heard some horrific things from kids, so I do worry about their feelings a little more, I guess.

[spedmommy4]

I agree with Leigh. I was a foster parent for years and I have seen that behavior a lot. My foster daughter would sneak tons of food out of the kitchen; we later found out she went long periods without food. You need to know the why to address the behavior. In the interim, I would keep most tempting sweets and non daycare food out of sight completely. You can also let the little one know, snack or lunch is soon. Keeping your mealtimes at the same time and Reassuring them the next meal is soon can be helpful as well.

[Blackcat31]

I agree with Leigh. I was a foster parent for years and I have seen that behavior a lot. My foster daughter would sneak tons of food out of the kitchen; we later found out she went long periods without food. You need to know the why to address the behavior. In the interim, I would keep most tempting sweets and non daycare food out of sight completely. You can also let the little one know, snack or lunch is soon. Keeping your mealtimes at the same time and Reassuring them the next meal is soon can be helpful as well.

I would also consider keeping a bowl of fruit on the table or a basket on the table/counter with snacks they CAN have any time they want.

Maybe giving a child free access to healthy food choices will help them feel more secure about it.

[Leigh]

I would also consider keeping a bowl of fruit on the table or a basket on the table/counter with snacks they CAN have any time they want.

Maybe giving a child free access to healthy food choices will help them feel more secure about it.

Great idea! If he asks for candy, I'll ask if he's hungry. When he says yes, I'll ask do you want an apple or pear? Just setting it out may satisfy his need to "take" food!