I'm Not Even Sure What to Think or Do

[Laura5287]

Gemma...he hopes that if we have a meeting and my husband is there then he will be able to weasel his way into whatever he wants. Not gonna happen. I have already informed my husband he is not to say a word. This is my business and I don't butt into his.

[daycare]

Gemma...he hopes that if we have a meeting and my husband is there then he will be able to weasel his way into whatever he wants. Not gonna happen. I have already informed my husband he is not to say a word. This is my business and don't butt into his.

good job!!!

[Heidi]

Gemma...he hopes that if we have a meeting and my husband is there then he will be able to weasel his way into whatever he wants. Not gonna happen. I have already informed my husband he is not to say a word. This is my business and don't butt into his.

Not only that, but if pressed by anyone, he should be expected to say "This is my wife's business and I have only the utmost respect for what she does. If you have an issue, discuss it with her"

[Laurel]

Here is what happened at pick up...
She came in what looked like a good mood....then when I started talking to her about wanting to make sure she understood where I was coming from....that its not that I don't want dcb here, I don't know if I will have a spot open at that time. Just so you know and have a back up plan. Her whole demeanor changed..wouldn't say a thing to me.
So since she wouldn't talk to me I text her husband and said we need to sit down and have a meeting about your sons care.
He called me back and we talked. I laid everything out there. I stood my ground and even told him that I don't have to explain any of my decisions with him. This is my business and this is how I am running it. He challenged me on everything. From my hours changing to my decision to change my vacation last year at Christmas. He is hung up on that one and it didn't have anything to do with him. He didn't have to change his schedule or pay any money but the fact that I changed my time for the other family is driving him crazy. They didn't like the fact that I changed my week to include 2 days right before Christmas (the other mom was supossed to work those days and didn't and they didn't like the fact that I still had her kids when I thought she was working, I learned a big lesson that week, I had taken so much time off and I needed the money so I did it. I knew she wasn't working, was I mad yes, because I told her that I would only work if she was working, but I got paid so I told myself I shouldn't be mad) There is so much drama. I really hate it!!!!!!
Now his kid has been here for 2 1/2 years and he asks me if dck was here when I changed them. I only changed them in Jan of this year! I really asked him...you know he was here...his response I don't pay attention. I told him that my hours changed because no one was coming for an hour and a half later than I was opening. He then said well my wifes job started offering earlier hours..then I said that is not my job to take care of that..You have to figure that out yourself.
I asked him for specific times that I treated his son differently and he didn't have any. I refreshed his memory of everything that I have done for his child and that family.
I also told him that he could pay for the spot and use it only when needed. He said it might happen. Then fine, if that is his choice. I also told his wife that when she came at pickup and she looked at me like I was crazy.
He wants a meeting with the four of us...my husband included. Not sure if husband will be there due to the fact of how he treated the situation instead of backing me up.
I really feel like I am about to have a panic attack. My face is red and hot, my chest is beat red and my heart is pounding so hard and fast. I really don't know how much more I can take of this.
I just want to say thank you for helping me get this far. If it weren't for you all on here and helping me along, I honestly wouldn't know.

You have talked to them enough. You have more than explained to both of them what you were willing to do and why. This is stressing you out and enough is enough.

I think I would send them an email/text or a written letter so you have it in writing. Then keep a copy.

Something like:

Date

Dear Parents,

After discussing this issue with you both, I have nothing further to say about it so I will not be scheduling a meeting to discuss this matter further.

To be clear, here is what I am willing to do. (Then explain what you did before such as watching them if you have the space available. Maybe explain it as your 'drop in' policy.) Example: When children do not come full time on a regular basis, they are considered 'drop in' children. This means that I would be glad to have them if I have room that particular day. The space is not guaranteed. You must call ahead to make arrangements and see if I have room. For this reason, it would be advisable to have back up arrangements so you won't be without childcare when you need it.

If the above is not going to meet your needs, I completely understand. Please let me know what you decide by such and such date.

Sincerely,

Then let it go. Let them stew, let them act childish. Don't spend one more moment listening to their adult tantrums. They can take it or leave it.

Good luck, you can do this!

Laurel

[Unregistered]

If you talk with them give them numbers.

Say you charge $150 a week x 52 weeks= $7,800.00

They want to bring child for (guessing of course)10 weeks a year=$1,500.00

If you hold a space for them them you are losing out $6,300.00 a year.

Let them know that you can not lose that much money. Even though you love their child you can not take that kind of a hit. You can tell them you would be more than willing to hold their spot for them if they continue to pay even if the child isn't there.

There is NO reason your husband should be there unless he is involved in your business. For them to even ask for him to be there knowing that he isn't involved is an insult. Have your handbook and their signed contract in front of you so you can refer back to it.

Also maybe if you want have some numbers they can call so they can get care for their child. Does the school run an aftercare program?? If they do that might be a good option.

Also document everything!!! Maybe have a print out ready of what you are going to say to them and have them sign it so you have proof of what you said.

Don't feel bad about sticking to your policies. They had a child and should know there are responsibilities to having a child. They need to deal with this not you. Its all part of being a parent.

Also if hubby is giving you a hard time show him the numbers that might open his eyes as to why you will not take these people on as a maybe part time thing.

[cheerfuldom]

I would term immediately. No way would i let these parents bully and guilt trip me. No extra meeting, no discussions......bye bye.

[AmyLeigh]

I don't think a meeting will get you anywhere with this family. It would be a total waste of your time. Unless you enjoy the drama, it's time to let them go.

Yep. DCD is hoping he can bully you into changing your mind, why else would a meeting be necessary? You have already explained your position. They have two choices, accept your terms or go elsewhere. They don't need to understand why you have policies in place. They probably will not understand no matter what you say, anyway.

[Rockgirl]

These parents have blown this WAY out of proportion. It's ridiculous, really. I'd just be done. It's not worth all this for possibly a few days per month, especially if they don't respect you.

[Leigh]

As soon as I heard that DCD wanted my DH to meet with him over MY business, I'd have been all HEEEEEEEELLLL no! I'd have termed during the phone call. Effective immediately. I may be over-sensitive, but this tells me that he doesn't think you're capable of running your own business, that your husband makes your decisions for you, and he thinks he's going to go over your head to talk to "the boss". Uh-uh. I'd have told him off and told him goodbye.

[Josiegirl]

As soon as I heard that DCD wanted my DH to meet with him over MY business, I'd have been all HEEEEEEEELLLL no! I'd have termed during the phone call. Effective immediately. I may be over-sensitive, but this tells me that he doesn't think you're capable of running your own business, that your husband makes your decisions for you, and he thinks he's going to go over your head to talk to "the boss". Uh-uh. I'd have told him off and told him goodbye.

I didn't think of it like this but OH YEH!!! So right.
And yes, like unreg. pointed out, show them(especially your DH)the numbers, explain while dc is such a personalized business, it is still a business.

[childcaremom]

I would term immediately. No way would i let these parents bully and guilt trip me. No extra meeting, no discussions......bye bye.

I would term immediately. I had a family who challenged policies in the past. I didn't term them but wish I had. They caused me so much stress and eventually I closed (not the only reason but certainly helped it along). I was never so glad to see a family go.

Dear dcps,

Due to:
*irreconcilable differences between parent and provider
*lack of parental cooperation and/or disrespect
(or whatever you have in your contract)

I am no longer able to provide childcare services for you child effective immediately. (Immediately!) (Insert what you do with child's items)

I have enjoyed caring for your child and wish you well in the future.

Thank you,
Relieved provider

(or something similar, I'm sure someone has a great term letter for this)

I would NOT meet with them, would NOT have my hubby present (seriously? What is that about?) and would NOT tolerate this from dcps. You have explained it to them already. They are not happy. They seem to feel that you work for them, not the other way around. Cut your losses now. You will feel so much better.

If a family is causing you this much stress, it's not worth it! :hug:

[Laura5287]

Things started getting out of hand back in August when my dad was sick and passed away. Their son was sick, he came here, they took him to the dr, he ended up having croup. I called my dr. because I knew it was contagious but his dr. gave him a note saying he could come back. I said no for the fact that if I would have gotten anything I wouldn't have been able to see my dad while he was in the hospital and I didn't want the three year old to get it. He then text me and said he wanted a meeting because I get too emotional (HELLO, my dad has cancer and is dying, he went into the hospital and in 2 weeks he was gone) and it seems he thinks that my husband has a part in this. Which the only thing he does is the taxes. So, He does think that I don't know how to run this business when in fact I do but have never shown my backbone.
I am going to have the meeting. For myself. To prove to myself that I can do this and say what I have to say. I have not done anything or said anything that is wrong. I follow state regulations even though I don't have to since I am a legal, non licensed in home daycare in oh. I have worked in Head Start facilities and in centers and know what is expected. I keep up with classes even though I don't have to.
The only changes that I have made is to the hours. All this is because they are hung up on the Christmas vacation thing. And it had nothing to do with them...they just want to be nosy and try and get the other dcm in trouble. For what reason other than the fact that I have known them for 6 years now.
Ugh, I don't know. I just want to scream!!
I keep telling myself..just get through the day, it is Thursday. Only one more day. Only one more day......

[Josiegirl]

They sound worse than the kids. The more you try to work with them and be nice, explain things to them, then the more they use you to manipulate to their advantage. UGH.

Big hugs to you!!!

[Gemma]

Things started getting out of hand back in August when my dad was sick and passed away. Their son was sick, he came here, they took him to the dr, he ended up having croup. I called my dr. because I knew it was contagious but his dr. gave him a note saying he could come back. I said no for the fact that if I would have gotten anything I wouldn't have been able to see my dad while he was in the hospital and I didn't want the three year old to get it. He then text me and said he wanted a meeting because I get too emotional (HELLO, my dad has cancer and is dying, he went into the hospital and in 2 weeks he was gone) and it seems he thinks that my husband has a part in this. Which the only thing he does is the taxes. So, He does think that I don't know how to run this business when in fact I do but have never shown my backbone.
I am going to have the meeting. For myself. To prove to myself that I can do this and say what I have to say. I have not done anything or said anything that is wrong. I follow state regulations even though I don't have to since I am a legal, non licensed in home daycare in oh. I have worked in Head Start facilities and in centers and know what is expected. I keep up with classes even though I don't have to.
The only changes that I have made is to the hours. All this is because they are hung up on the Christmas vacation thing. And it had nothing to do with them...they just want to be nosy and try and get the other dcm in trouble. For what reason other than the fact that I have known them for 6 years now.
Ugh, I don't know. I just want to scream!!
I keep telling myself..just get through the day, it is Thursday. Only one more day. Only one more day......

Laura, have the meeting if it makes you feel better, but for your own sake while at the meeting,Term this family!! ...you think things are bad now? well they will get even worse if you keep trying to do business with them...They see you as their babysitter and feel they should tell you how when and where, families that feel like this about daycares, will NEVER get it!
:hug:

[rosieteddy]

I would term.You owe them no explination and your Husband should have nothing to do with them. My Husband also does my taxes ,but any interaction with parents is me only. I have found having drop-ins to be very disruptive to the group.You know the parents are talking about all this in front of the child (car at dinner ect) Why set yourself up for a confrontation? My thought would be a short profesional letter to the parents tomorrow(Friday).State that you cannot offer the care they want ,say you enjoyed caring for their child but its best for all to move on.Why would you want them in your home on your down time stressing you out? You do not have anything to defend YOUR BUSSINESS ,YOUR RULES . If you must have a meeting I would send your Husband out ,under no circumstance would he attend.Good luck this can be very hard .