I'm Not Even Sure What to Think or Do

[Unregistered]

NOBODY knows what it's like to be a daycare provider until you experience it. My DH was the same about a dcg that would scream in timeout... 'can't you handle it?' type of response until the week he spent at home.He was like omg, I'm sorry.

You did right for your business and your family aka dh. He should be happy you are making the most out of the spots you have available!

[Rockgirl]

I'd be tempted to say to dh, "Great--thank you for being cool with me easing up on my workload! It'll be nice only having dck 1-2 days per month, and not having to worry about filling the spot."

[Thriftylady]

I'd be tempted to say to dh, "Great--thank you for being cool with me easing up on my workload! It'll be nice only having dck 1-2 days per month, and not having to worry about filling the spot."

[Laura5287]

Here is what happened at pick up...
She came in what looked like a good mood....then when I started talking to her about wanting to make sure she understood where I was coming from....that its not that I don't want dcb here, I don't know if I will have a spot open at that time. Just so you know and have a back up plan. Her whole demeanor changed..wouldn't say a thing to me.
So since she wouldn't talk to me I text her husband and said we need to sit down and have a meeting about your sons care.
He called me back and we talked. I laid everything out there. I stood my ground and even told him that I don't have to explain any of my decisions with him. This is my business and this is how I am running it. He challenged me on everything. From my hours changing to my decision to change my vacation last year at Christmas. He is hung up on that one and it didn't have anything to do with him. He didn't have to change his schedule or pay any money but the fact that I changed my time for the other family is driving him crazy. They didn't like the fact that I changed my week to include 2 days right before Christmas (the other mom was supossed to work those days and didn't and they didn't like the fact that I still had her kids when I thought she was working, I learned a big lesson that week, I had taken so much time off and I needed the money so I did it. I knew she wasn't working, was I mad yes, because I told her that I would only work if she was working, but I got paid so I told myself I shouldn't be mad) There is so much drama. I really hate it!!!!!!
Now his kid has been here for 2 1/2 years and he asks me if dck was here when I changed them. I only changed them in Jan of this year! I really asked him...you know he was here...his response I don't pay attention. I told him that my hours changed because no one was coming for an hour and a half later than I was opening. He then said well my wifes job started offering earlier hours..then I said that is not my job to take care of that..You have to figure that out yourself.
I asked him for specific times that I treated his son differently and he didn't have any. I refreshed his memory of everything that I have done for his child and that family.
I also told him that he could pay for the spot and use it only when needed. He said it might happen. Then fine, if that is his choice. I also told his wife that when she came at pickup and she looked at me like I was crazy.
He wants a meeting with the four of us...my husband included. Not sure if husband will be there due to the fact of how he treated the situation instead of backing me up.
I really feel like I am about to have a panic attack. My face is red and hot, my chest is beat red and my heart is pounding so hard and fast. I really don't know how much more I can take of this.
I just want to say thank you for helping me get this far. If it weren't for you all on here and helping me along, I honestly wouldn't know.

[Josiegirl]

Wow I am really sorry you're going through all that crap with this 1 family!! I think I'd have to say "I'm sorry but I don't feel this is working out any longer. I have enjoyed having your ds here and watching him grow and learn. But I feel I cannot accommodate your family's needs anymore. Please accept this as your 2 week(or however long)notice, dcb's last day will be 04/heavenlybliss/2015. Thank you for allowing dcb into our lives and family."

Please take care of yourself. Don't let this job make you ill.

[Unregistered]

I really think you should term this family because it seems like they want to run your business to benefit them which is not how it works. No matter the outcome of the meeting, they will find something to be upset about in the future which is stress you do not need and do not deserve. Also, is your husband part of your daycare operations (decision making, working in the daycare, etc)? If not then he has no business being a part of the meeting because he does not fully understand the dynamics going on in your daycare. My husband is listed on my license only because he is my spouse. He does not make any decisions regarding how I run or my policies for my business, and does not interfere with my dcps.

[Josiegirl]

And your dh? He doesn't have a clue about the job being a business. If he lived in my house, he'd better hope the couch was soft for sleeping.:dislike:

[Rockgirl]

I really think you should term this family because it seems like they want to run your business to benefit them which is not how it works. No matter the outcome of the meeting, they will find something to be upset about in the future which is stress you do not need and do not deserve. Also, is your husband part of your daycare operations (decision making, working in the daycare, etc)? If not then he has no business being a part of the meeting because he does not fully understand the dynamics going on in your daycare. My husband is listed on my license only because he is my spouse. He does not make any decisions regarding how I run or my policies for my business, and does not interfere with my dcps.

I agree 100%.

[NeedaVaca]

It's beyond time to let this family go. Do it for your sanity! No way would I have my husband sit in on a meeting or deal with any more from this family. Enjoy your summer, let them go and relax!

[Gemma]

Here is what happened at pick up...
She came in what looked like a good mood....then when I started talking to her about wanting to make sure she understood where I was coming from....that its not that I don't want dcb here, I don't know if I will have a spot open at that time. Just so you know and have a back up plan. Her whole demeanor changed..wouldn't say a thing to me.
So since she wouldn't talk to me I text her husband and said we need to sit down and have a meeting about your sons care.
He called me back and we talked. I laid everything out there. I stood my ground and even told him that I don't have to explain any of my decisions with him. This is my business and this is how I am running it. He challenged me on everything. From my hours changing to my decision to change my vacation last year at Christmas. He is hung up on that one and it didn't have anything to do with him. He didn't have to change his schedule or pay any money but the fact that I changed my time for the other family is driving him crazy. They didn't like the fact that I changed my week to include 2 days right before Christmas (the other mom was supossed to work those days and didn't and they didn't like the fact that I still had her kids when I thought she was working, I learned a big lesson that week, I had taken so much time off and I needed the money so I did it. I knew she wasn't working, was I mad yes, because I told her that I would only work if she was working, but I got paid so I told myself I shouldn't be mad) There is so much drama. I really hate it!!!!!!
Now his kid has been here for 2 1/2 years and he asks me if dck was here when I changed them. I only changed them in Jan of this year! I really asked him...you know he was here...his response I don't pay attention. I told him that my hours changed because no one was coming for an hour and a half later than I was opening. He then said well my wifes job started offering earlier hours..then I said that is not my job to take care of that..You have to figure that out yourself.
I asked him for specific times that I treated his son differently and he didn't have any. I refreshed his memory of everything that I have done for his child and that family.
I also told him that he could pay for the spot and use it only when needed. He said it might happen. Then fine, if that is his choice. I also told his wife that when she came at pickup and she looked at me like I was crazy.
He wants a meeting with the four of us...my husband included. Not sure if husband will be there due to the fact of how he treated the situation instead of backing me up.
I really feel like I am about to have a panic attack. My face is red and hot, my chest is beat red and my heart is pounding so hard and fast. I really don't know how much more I can take of this.
I just want to say thank you for helping me get this far. If it weren't for you all on here and helping me along, I honestly wouldn't know.

I would have quit this family a long time ago!...get rid of them!:hug:

[hope]

I don't understand why dcd wants a meeting after you talked with his wife and then him. What does he hope to accomplish? If he wanted the meeting because your conversation with him went well and he wanted to mend things with dcm and you then I would say go for it. But his conversation didn't go well with you. Does he expect you to have a meeting during your free time/family time so that they can tell you again what they want? What you can do to better fit their needs? I would ask what he wants to accomplish with this meeying before agreeing to it.

[Gemma]

I don't either!
I think Laura talked enough, they don't deserve any more of her attention.

[Heidi]

agreeing with PP's, and it's YOUR business, not your husbands. Why on earth should he be at the meeting?

[e.j.]

Wow I am really sorry you're going through all that crap with this 1 family!! I think I'd have to say "I'm sorry but I don't feel this is working out any longer. I have enjoyed having your ds here and watching him grow and learn. But I feel I cannot accommodate your family's needs anymore. Please accept this as your 2 week(or however long)notice, dcb's last day will be 04/heavenlybliss/2015. Thank you for allowing dcb into our lives and family."

Please take care of yourself. Don't let this job make you ill.

I don't think a meeting will get you anywhere with this family. It would be a total waste of your time. Unless you enjoy the drama, it's time to let them go.

[daycare]

reading your post reminds me of me in the past, pre-backbone.

I would decline the meeting with all 4, your husband does not run this company you do.

I would sit them down and tell them, this is the services i provide
example:

ABC daycare operates monday through friday from 8am to 530pm daily. Your child may attend during these hours.

I would not even offer additional hours before or after that time set for additional fees.

In order to operate my business successfully, the following must occur:

Again fill in whatever your policy is.

example. all spots are paid in full regardless of attendance or not.

To me it sounds like there may have been some switching around of your normal business practices and the parents are not used to you doing that? I do see that it is hard for parents to accept change, especially if they don't understand why it is happening. Of course, you reserve the right to change what you want when you see fit, however, change is not always taken well from my experience.

NO, you don't need to explain yourself every time, you can use generic words like, sorry that is not a service we provide, or if you really want to you can give a very brief reason why.

The one thing that you have to tell yourself is that you cant possibly make every parent in this business happy. SOme will get mad, some will cry, some will just be jerks. BUT you have to do what you have to do for you.

It sounds like this family holds you to a high regard based off of how emotional they are about this situation, sounds like they really care about you and are worried about losing that relationship with you.

They are acting quite childish, but just like most people when they feel they are losing something and their emotions are involved, they act like this.

With a lot of help from the ladies here, I have really mastered finding words to use that are some what generic, but 100% emotionless.

Like- a parent asking me the night before, can I drop my child off at 5am, instead of 8am?

Wow thats early, sorry that is not something I can arrange for you. THen just zip the lip.

Then practice practice practice building your backbone.

one of my favs when parents ask me.... Let me get back to you on that. Then I normally shoot them an an email and give them my answer. This gives me time to think about it and lets them know that I am not saying yes, there is a possibility I will say no.

Hugs to you for going through this. If you really think that your relationship with this family is at the point of no return, I would gently let them go.

If you decide to let them go, then I know ladies here, including myself would help you with a term letter...