How to talk to dcp about 1 yo behaviours

Collapse
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • Unregistered

    How to talk to dcp about 1 yo behaviours

    So I am a member, but don't have my login info anymore (Monkey Toes).

    I currently have a 1yo dcb, full time who hits everyone and thinks it's funny. I have said no firmly and repeatedly, redirected him and today, even put him in his highchair as a kind of time out. I know he is too young to understand why, but I do believe children can learn NO at that age, but this kid thinks it is hilarious and does it over again and again and again. I am beyond frustrated with him. He seems to be my demon replacement for a girl I termed because of the same attitudes and behaviours in November. Now obviously, there are other issues with this kid, but this is the biggest one. Everyone is down for nap early because I really need some time to reset and think about how to deal with this.

    My husband says that I need to talk to the parents before just handing them a term letter (like I did last time), but as a provider, I think that I should get this figured out on my own; but at the same time, I suspect that the parents think that this is cute and funny at home and that we need to get on the same page. This child is not only hitting and climbing all over everyone when told no, but is consistently hitting during bum changes. Talk about one of the most vulnerably positions for the victim to be in! (I change bums on a hard floor, away from the play space, so it can easily be cleaned and disinfected and I can still see the others.) Can someone please offer me a way to address this with the parents so that I don't cower (mom is a social worker and I find that very intimidating).

    Thanks!
  • Heidi
    Daycare.com Member
    • Sep 2011
    • 7121

    #2
    He's hitting other children during diaper changes, or you?

    I think right now he needs lots of supervision. I'd make an area just for him with a super yard (assuming you have it), and that would be his play area for whenever you can't be right there.

    I would not present it as a punishment. It just is. He's not capable of self-control yet and it's your job to keep the others safe.

    When you can be right with him, then you can model "gentle", and give him alternatives to hitting like rubbing someone's shoulder. It's most likely his way of saying "play with me", but it gets a reaction, and he LIKES reactions. He doesn't understand it hurts because he doesn't have the capability developmentally at 1.

    Gentle hands...soft hands... mantra mantra mantra. Give him soft things to touch. "That's sooffft". "Touch geeennntly" and demonstrate with his hands.

    As for talking to parents: "DCM, I just want to let you know, DCB has been having an issue with being rough with his friends. We are really working on it here, and I'm hoping you can help. Here is what I"m doing (modeling "gentle" and "soft". Could you please practice with him at home?"

    As for the play yard, I wouldn't even bring it up. As long as it meets your standards for space (here it's 35 sq ft), it's just a safe place to play, like any other "center" you might have.

    You might want to start him off in there by sitting in there with him. Then, when he starts to play, you can say something like "I'll be right back" and back off. He may not like it, but just reassure him. Then, a little later, sit in there again.

    Comment

    • BabyMonkeys
      Daycare.com Member
      • Nov 2013
      • 370

      #3
      I have 2 15m little boys that have been with me from birth. They have both started the refusing to listen and laughing when they are corrected thing. They are driving me crazy! Thankfully I had a chance to fall in love with them first! My daughter says that they would never pass a week trial period, much less a two week.

      I have started holding them in place for longer than they want me to. Example: When they hit I firmly tell them no hitting and hold their hands. They laugh for the first few seconds and then get upset that I am holding their hands. It seems to work better than just telling them no. I think that kids are smarter than they are given credit for. These two definitely know what no means.

      I talked with both sets of parents and let them know that we were having issues with aggression and that we needed to be on the same page. If they think that it's no big deal if the baby hits them, and just ignores it, he is going to think that it is ok. If they laugh when he laughs, it confuses him when I do not respond the same way. Thankfully both sets of parents are amazing and 100% on board with being consistent.

      Comment

      • Unregistered

        #4
        Op here.

        I should have clarified i do say "gentle hands" and demonstrate what that is as well. Lol. Just extremely frustrated at the time of posting. He hits the other children during bum changes. He doesn't do it too much to me. i do understand everything you've said and will be setting up the super yard this weekend. I've screenshot ed the advice. That's why i love this forum.

        Comment

        • Blackcat31
          • Oct 2010
          • 36124

          #5
          OP, I am sending you a password reset e-mail.

          Let me know if you get logged back in.

          Comment

          Working...