Terming Assistants Grandchild?

[Unregistered]

I'm really needing some advice about a difficult matter, and I hope it's okay that I logged out to do so. I've had a child in my care for 16 months now, and I think I've reached the end of my patience with him. He is 3 yrs 8 months and is not even close developmentall with his peers - I often find myself mentally grouping him with my 2 yr olds. Everything he does grates on my nerves to the point that I'm biting my cheeks and feeling my blood pressure rise. It is my belief that he is on the spectrum. He was tested right when he turned 3 and was told he's fine. Seeing that he's not improving, he was retested last week and waiting on results. The testers did say that his behavior was worse. Although they are very nice people who love him, his parents just don't seem very concerned, or communicative in how to deal with his behaviors here. He is the biggest stressor of the day to the point that I don't feel capable of dealing with him any longer. Here's my problem: his grandma has been working as my substitute for the past 10 months and I'm worried that terming him would make her quit. Also, I'm unsure if I should discuss this first with her, or his parents.

Apologies for the rambling. My thoughts are all over the place about this. TYIA

[Shell]

I wouldn't talk to the Gma about it -and would go straight to the parents and give two weeks notice.

Maybe explain that your program doesn't seem to be a good fit for the child, and that another program would be better for him.

As far as the Gma, you might lose her, but you might not. She might enjoy working for you, and she probably knows about the issues with her grandson's behaviors.

Not every child is a fit for every program and it's ok.

[Blackcat31]

Like Shell said, go to the parents. NOT gma.

Let them know you are not able to meet his needs...which is true because parents should be on board for that to happen...so you need to term.

Don't say anything to Gma at all. It's two separate situations.

A daycare family and a daycare employee. Just because there is a genetic tie, doesn't mean you should handle this in any other way than how you would if it were any other child.

If grandma wants to know what's up....tell her you can't discuss it with her but she can talk to her own family members and find out.

Then let her know you value her as an employee and none of your actions have anything to do with her at all.

If she quits, then it was just meant to be. If she stays, then cool beans!

[Thriftylady]

I agree with going to the parents and telling them this isn't working. Maybe have some resources for them, he may qualify for a special school or something. When/if gma brings it up, I would tell her what BC said. You may also want to have in your mind some people to fill her spot just in case.