Attention Seeking Child And Playtime With Provider

[WImom]

During playtime I usually don't play with the kids the whole time but sometimes I feel like I need to help the play along especially with my 2 year olds in the house center and playing store, pretend cooking, etc. Or anytime really if I see children having trouble playing I like to get them started on something and then I'll walk away so they can continue.

I have a 3.5y old DCG that is an only child and also has sensory issues/possible ADHD (she is in therapy). Anyways anytime I try to play with another child it doesn't matter what she is doing she hurries up and puts her toys away and is right there wanting to play. If another child wants a book read she does the same, cleans up and runs over and grabs a book (doesn't even look at what book she grabs) and asks for me to read a book. I do play with this child one on one every day since she is my last child picked up. I also know that her parents give her their undivided attention from pick up to bed time so she may be expecting that from me).

How do I nicely tell her that she needs to go play (not with us)? I could just say "no thank you" which is what the kids have to say when asking but I'd like to talk to her about not having to always play with me everything I decide to read/play. That their will be lots of times we can play. I don't want to hurt her feelings either though.

[spedmommy4]

Without knowing the little girl or the dynamics your setting I can only give you a few ideas to try. You mentioned there are sensory issues, and these can contribute to a childs avoidance of peers.

If she is bothered by loud noises and touch, she will avoid many of her peers because they make her physically uncomfortable. With young child who avoid peers because of sensory issues, there are a few things you can try.

Encourage her to join a small group. (Small group=less noise)
Buddy her up with kids who share similar interests.
Encourage her to use words to express her feelings. "You're being to loud." Or "please don't hug me." You can explain it to other kids by saying some friends like hugs/high 5's and some don't.

The other thing I have seen at thing age is difficulty making friends with peers. There are those kids that hang out with grown ups because they don't know how to make friends. You will be able to tell if this is a problem for her if her interactions with children look "off" or very different than the other kids. If this is the case, you can try . . .

Modeling simple social interactions in small groups. You mentioned that she is the last kiddo so when you are down to her and 1 or 2 others, this is the ideal time.
Your modeling would be really basic: asking a friend to play, taking turns, simple stuff. After you've practiced a few times you can encourage her to join a friend by saying, "ask Suzy. just like we practiced."

Hope this helps!

[Heidi]

Without knowing the little girl or the dynamics your setting I can only give you a few ideas to try. You mentioned there are sensory issues, and these can contribute to a childs avoidance of peers.

If she is bothered by loud noises and touch, she will avoid many of her peers because they make her physically uncomfortable. With young child who avoid peers because of sensory issues, there are a few things you can try.

Encourage her to join a small group. (Small group=less noise)
Buddy her up with kids who share similar interests.
Encourage her to use words to express her feelings. "You're being to loud." Or "please don't hug me." You can explain it to other kids by saying some friends like hugs/high 5's and some don't.

The other thing I have seen at thing age is difficulty making friends with peers. There are those kids that hang out with grown ups because they don't know how to make friends. You will be able to tell if this is a problem for her if her interactions with children look "off" or very different than the other kids. If this is the case, you can try . . .

Modeling simple social interactions in small groups. You mentioned that she is the last kiddo so when you are down to her and 1 or 2 others, this is the ideal time.
Your modeling would be really basic: asking a friend to play, taking turns, simple stuff. After you've practiced a few times you can encourage her to join a friend by saying, "ask Suzy. just like we practiced."

Hope this helps!

[nannyde]

"Go play toys"

Rinse and repeat.

I would not EVER play with her until I saw MONTHS of her successfully self entertaining.

You know for sure she does AWESOME when she is being played with by an adult so check that skill set off your list. She's good.

Have her do what she struggles with which... by the way.. is

GO PLAY TOYS

[spedmommy4]

@nannyde Respectfully, there are children who genuinely struggle with this issue. My daughter was one of these kids. With good supports, she ultimately learned these skills. Now she is one of the most sociable kids in her class.

Not everything that goes on with a little one is a naughty behavior. Also, children learn everything through play at that age so refusing to play a child would not improve the situation. (Particularly not a child receiving therapies for multiple diagnosis, as the OP mentioned) I have a master's in early child special education, so I offered a few general tips. It is really important to be cautious about the tips you offer for kids with a diagnosis or developmental delays.