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Well it happened. Baby didn't want to go home with grandma. She kept crying and reaching for me. I felt so bad. Not sure why because in the past she would go to the door and point and cry like she wanted to go home and she would run to them at the end of the day. I felt bad then and now I feel bad because of this new response. Can anyone tell me how to avoid this in the future? It ended up prolonging pickup which is not bad, but it was awfully awkward because DCGM kept reaching and then pulling away when dcg would cry and reach for me. Dcg is 1. She also has recently been reaching for me when DCM and dcd drops. I do want her to WANT to be here but I don't want to hurt feelings either. 😓. I'm sorry bout all the unregistered but.
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I would tell parents that this is normal, she will come out of this phase, and some day she will probably cry at drop off even though she likes it at daycare. Just like she likes being at home with them, it's just hard to transition from one to the other. -
Keep the transition time short. It's less of a 'big deal' if it doesn't take up much time
Small children have tantrums about any number of things. Our job is not to feed the tantrum, but to only feed good behavior.
Transitions are normal. Treat it as normal. Keep it brief. Acknowledge feelings briefly, reassure briefly, hand over, goodbye
If you can begin to look at a transition as a normal thing at this age, your feelings will not come into play as much, and that would be a good thing
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I did try to keep it brief, but DCGM would not take her/pick her up while she was reaching for me. I wasn't sure if there are some tactics to use to make it smoother when the person that picks up isn't aggressive (not sure if that is the correct word) enough to just scoop up toddler and start for home? Things to say or do?Comment
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I would have handed her to Grandma (so she had to take her) with a bye! See you tomorrow, and then walk away. If gma seemed incapable of getting that hint, I'd probably say clearly "G'ma, you need to pick her up and go so she will settle down. Otherwise this will go on all night." She may have just not known what to do, especially if she's not around dcg on a daily basis.Comment
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I have a ten month old that cries if anyone picks her up other than mom, yes she even cries with dad.....it has kind of become a joke at pick up time here with the ones picking up....I guess she stops crying once they get in the car????:
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This! If it is with a parent I usually make it about playing, say to dcg "I know it's hard to leave when you are having so much fun playing with your friends." Because I don't want parents to feel like their child wants me instead of them. Trying to avoid hurt feelings.Comment
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I agree with much of what previous posters have said. Find your own words to let grandma know that ALL of this is normal - the switching allegiances, the transition time difficulties, the emotions. It's all typical toddler transition behavior. Hand her off, telling grandma it's for the best to make it quick while this is happening, to make it a shorter part of the little one's day. Keeping it short keeps it insignificant. Having a long drawn-out scene gives it true meaning - it's the wrong message to send.
Find your words - you can do it
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I do the same, smile and say, "oh, you're going to have so much fun with grandma, bye bye" and walk away or find something else to busy yourself with.
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