Mostly a Vent, I'm Jumping On The Screamer Wagon!

[CraftyMom]

Baby is 7 months old, has been SCREAMING here at naptime for more than 2 months. I'm ready to be done except I love the mom! She is supposedly cooperating at home, we talk about his crying often. He wants to be held. Mom admitted to holding and/or rocking him while he naps at home, or the swing. She agreed to no more swing and putting him in his crib. If she is following through it isn't showing.

I would have no problem letting him CIO, but in my state the kids must all be on the same floor. I do not have a room with a door at all on this floor. I would love to put him in a room upstairs to nap. He is the lightest sleeper on the face of the earth. I swear he hears me breathing and wakes up.

So at nap time he screams this obnoxious scream. If he sees me walk near him he stops instantly. There is nothing wrong with him, not hungry, clean diaper, not hurt, just screaming. Wants me to pick him up.

My nerves can't take it! Since he must stay on this floor, he wakes the others up. I have another infant that gets woken, so then I have him going without a nap too. Ugh I'm so done with this!

Screamer has been here for almost 4 months and has screamed for the last 2.5 months. I want to make it work so I have been trying different things...different location, white noise, no white noise, light off, light on low, rub his back, talk to him...I think I'm just done.

It's hard to find good parents and I don't want to lose this mom, but I can't take this every day, every nap. He is obviously over tired and needs to sleep.

Mom's response is always "really?! he sleeps so well at home!" I would too if I was held and loved and cuddled the whole time! Also she says "really?! he takes a nap right after we leave here then he stays sleeping for 3 hours" Ummmmm.....that's because he hasn't slept ALL DAY LONG! That doesn't mean he is a good sleeper! He is just soooo exhausted from all his crying that he passes out in the car!

It seems like there was always a reason...he was new here, he was teething, he was sick, teething again, sick again...now I realize he just wants to be held and I refuse to hold him when he does this. I hold him when I need to and play with him, etc. But I have 6 kids and 2 are babies.

I'm having a hard time following our schedule, it's super hard to get outside these days.

Then I spend nap time so stressed out because of all the crying. The other kids are annoyed too, they have started saying "just stop!" or they will mock him, going "waahh,waahh,waahh". It's got to be annoying for them to hear all this every day.

Anyway, I know what I need to do, but I just don't want to. He is very cute and can be a great baby when he is happy. He just wants constant attention. If I did that he'd be happy all day.

I also don't want to lose the income but at this point the money isn't worth the stress. The only calls I've had recently have been for infants. I am thinking of going no infants. This is a hard time of year to replace a child.

I'm thinking I need to tell mom I'm giving it until after the holidays and if no change I'm done.

I just don't know what else I can try. His scream is in-your-face-obnoxious...that's the only way I can explain it. And it intensifies as time ticks on. I can not swaddle, he is too old.

Thanks for reading, just need to vent

[Unregistered]

I'm in the same boat- I am sorry. I could have written almost the same post. I've been at it 6 months and same thing- I'm always making excuses, teeth or whatever. A 15 min nap or 10 min nap and the rest of the time screaming isn't normal. Blah.

[CraftyMom]

I'm in the same boat- I am sorry. I could have written almost the same post. I've been at it 6 months and same thing- I'm always making excuses, teeth or whatever. A 15 min nap or 10 min nap and the rest of the time screaming isn't normal. Blah.

Yes, that too. I forgot to add that he will eventually fall asleep but only for 15 minutes at the most. If he hears ANYTHING he wakes up. Our house is old, our floors creak. So once he is sleeping I basically sit and don't move for fear of waking him. No use though, 15 min later he is crying again anyway.

I'd say in a day he gets MAYBE an hour total of broken sleep

[Unregistered]

Yeah I am at my wits end about nap time. Then she's angry all day because she is so darn tired- it stinks. Or she's starving all the time. I don't *need* the money but would rather fill the spot if I could first. But the money clearly isn't worth my sanity. When she isn't crying life is ok, but trying to walk away for a few minutes to pee or cook and fearing the beast will unleash is so not worth it. Gah-- the thought of her scream makes me want to scream! Lol

[Cradle2crayons]

I agree op. If mom was doing her part at home, you'd likely see an improvement.

I have a 7 month old dcb too. He started at age 3 months. Was held to sleep at home or out in a vibrating bassinet.

I had a talk with mom right from the beginning and told her that if she didn't do the work at home, his daycare experience would be miserable because I wasn't going to hold a baby to sleep or entertain them 24/7. I told mom if she didn't do her part, I WOULD KNOW within just a week. If after two weeks without improvement (age 4 months then)... Then I wouldn't continue care.

Mom knew I was serious and did her part from day one. Within just a few days I saw dramatic improvement. Mom was very happy with the improvements at home and at daycare.

By the end if the two weeks, dcb was the model infant. And he still is.

My point is that if he parents aren't willing to do heir part, it just isn't worth it.

[rosieteddy]

You know I am right there with you.My screamer slept about an hour total today.He woke everyone up early and of course no outdoors due to the rain.I talked to the Mom she just doesn't know what to do either.She claims she puts him down and he is happy.Every time I tried to do anything 2 ft from him he screamed.I also feel for the older children . I am deciding by Friday if I will give notice for no care after holidays.Good luck.

[CraftyMom]

I think I'm going to try changing his nap time (again). He arrives at 8:15 and is ready for nap by 9:00. I am going to move his naptime to 8:30 and see if that helps. Then assuming all goes well, he will sleep for at least an hour. His afternoon nap will be at 12:30.

[nothingwithoutjoy]

Don't know if it'll help you, but when I had infants, their morning nap was during outside time for the rest of the kids. They sleep well outside, and that way, I could focus on getting them to sleep because the other kids were mostly occupied on their own.

I'm so sorry about the screaming. I've been there! It's awful. I hope mom will help you fix it, or you'll find the strength to give yourself an out. Sounds like you've tried nearly everything.

[lovemykidstoo]

Must be something in the air. I have an 8 month old dcb that is exactly the same way. I desperately need the money and I also have his 3 yr old brother so I cannot let them go. He is the most miserable child I've ever had. Of course mom and dad always say "oh he's so great at home" "always happy". I'm telling you unless they're holding him or entertaining him constantly, that's not true. Which, obviously, must be what's happening. He does not attempt to crawl or anything yet either. He sits up, but after awhile will fall over. I'm convinced that it's because he's held too much. No advice, but I feel your pain!