I Need Advice on Preparing to Move

[midaycare]

So, back to thinking about how to get money to move...

I called my daycare specialist and found out that it's no longer required to have a land line phone (house phone) for daycare. I also called my cable company which I have the house phone, cable, and internet through. I found out that if I cut off my house phone and cable, I can save $45/month.

I have turned my heat down 4 degrees.

I told my one daycare parent this morning that I want to raise my rate by $30/week beginning in January. She actually said that's fine and had no problem it. However, her husband is being promoted and they don't know what his new hours will be. They might not even need daycare by mid-January! UGHHHH! So, if they don't need daycare, I will advertise to replace their child and quote a higher rate for a new baby.

I know I don't have many extra things, but I am going to look around to see what I can sell at a yard sale.

I am going to start putting my food program money into my savings account which currently has about 20 cents in it! I talked with the apartment complex that I would like to move to in my daughter's area. They said that me having debt and things in collections won't get me turned down, it will just make it so I have to pay a higher down payment (typically 2 months rent to move in rather than 1 month's rent), so, I would be better to save cash rather than pay off my collections and debt.

My plan is to save as close to $6,000 as possible and at the same time, pay at least $20/month on my debt and collections accounts mainly to help raise my credit score. Starting in January, 2015, I will have 73 weeks before my daughter graduates high school and I hope to be able to move. So, if I save $83/week for those 73 weeks, I will have $6,000. By starting my timeline on January 1st rather than today, it gives me a couple of weeks to try to get some more daycare kids and try to get a weekend job so that as of the beginning of January, I will be have some extra money to set aside.

I will look for a weekend job and advertise more while making my daycare more attractive to try to get more daycare kids and I will raise my daycare rates. I will offer daycare later in the evenings Monday - Friday. There really isn't a need for daycare on the weekends here, so I would be better getting a weekend job out of the house.

Instead of putting my office things in my bedroom - they won't fit there anyway and I really do use them for daycare purposes, I have decided to put my office in the dining room. I am also going to put my non-baby proof preschool manipulatives and bookshelf with my educational games/activities that the kids are not allowed to get by themselves into the dining room and put a baby gate to block off the dining room. That will keep everything I use during the day on the main floor, but allow more space for the kids in the living room. Most people in my area only use the living room for daycare, so it should be alright to just use my living room for the kids. I will also start blocking my dog off in the dining room so he is down here with us, I can go into the dining room to give him attention during the day, but he's not 'in the daycare area'. The only problem with this idea is that I have to buy a baby gate. The one I need is about $80! It's extra wide (to fit in the opening from the dining room to the living room),extra tall (so my dog can't jump over it), has a easy open handle and a cat door at the bottom. Even though the gate I need is expensive, it is still cheaper, and faster, than renting the tools I need that my ex now won't lend me and buying the hardwood stain/paint and brushes and items needed to finish the floor. Since it will be blocked off from the daycare and used as my office and dog room, hopefully parents won't mind that the floor isn't completely finished.

I am also going to create a financial goal chart to give me a visual of how much money I have saved, how much I've paid my debts down, and how close I am to my goals. That will make me focus on my financial goals on a daily/weekly basis to keep me excited about working towards my goals.

I have copied and saved these plans onto my computer so I can keep track of what I plan to do to save money.

Any other ideas?

I like the plan . When you have something written down, it makes it much easier to achieve.

[permanentvacation]

Midaycare,

Thank you. I really think keeping track of my finances and goals will help too. Somehow I have to figure this out and make it work. 17 months from now, for the first time in my life, I will have to support myself. I am scared to death, but I have to survive on my own, and hopefully THRIVE on my own.

[permanentvacation]

CraftyMissBeth,

I pm'd my e-mail address to you.

[NeedaVaca]

None of this will happen unless you actually start implementing the ideas you have been given. You have started many threads about your finances, lack of daycare kids and desire to move. You have been given tons of advice, I have also seen you advise others on their finances. You know what you need to do but you need to stop talking and start doing. Get an extra part time job or change your job, you aren't making enough money.

[LysesKids]

Lyseskids,

I am in Middle River. I live in the neighborhood called Hawthorne (behind Gereseback's grocery store) which is off of Eastern Avenue.

The neighborhood has A LOT of gangs and drugs. Typically, during the day, things are quiet. But it's gotten to the point that at night, even some of the gang members won't go outside! Your typical family that is not involved in that life style is usually not affected by them. Typically, the people getting shot are involved in a drug deal gone bad, someone who knows that drug dealer lives in a certain house, has money there, and guns, so the one gang will break into the other gang member's house, or if the gang member/drug dealer they want to shoot is in jail, they might shoot one of his family members because they can't get to the one they really want. So, usually, a regular person like me who isn't in that lifestyle is safe enough here. HOWEVER, in the past year or so, they are breaking into regular people's houses, going through our cars overnight to see if there's something to steal in them. If you lock your car windows, there's a good chance that they will be broken one morning. A month or so ago, a regular boy, not in the drug life, was walking with a book bag on his back that had a video game system in it to go to his friend's house to play videos. He was robbed of his book bag at gun point. A while ago, at night, a drug dealer was shot (he lived, but is paralyzed for life) on the school grounds of Hawthorne Elementary. They are robbing regular people who have nothing to do with the drug/gang life more often just when they are walking down the sidewalks or in parking lots, and more stores are being robbed at gunpoint in my area. A while ago, there was a swat team in my neighborhood to get a man out of a house who had shot someone, then ran into his girlfriend's house and held people hostage in the house. A while ago, a cashier got stabbed while working at the register in Gereseback's grocery store which is at the entrance of my neighborhood. A year or so ago, a regular (not drug/gang related) was shot (I don't remember if she died or what the outcome of her being shot was) while she was taking out her trash. That was really the only time I know of when a drug/gang member missed their intended target and accidentally shot an innocent person here.

We actually lived in another house in this neighborhood years ago, before I separated from my ex-husband. At that time, my kids were younger and one day when my older daughter was riding her bike in the park here. She came home all frantic and said she had just witnessed one man shoot at another man! Around that time frame, I personally sat in my house, looking out the front window and watched my neighbors (who are one of the biggest drug dealers in my neighborhood) a few houses up unload all sorts of guns out of a box truck! I couldn't wait to get out of this neighborhood after I separated from my ex back then. I really didn't want to move back into the neighborhood, but it was the only place I could find in my price range and my daughter's school district at the time that I needed to move a few years ago. So, I did know what I was moving into, but I really didn't want to have to move here, and don't want to stay here any longer than I have to.

I feel like I live in a little mini-Baltimore City.

I have friends in East B-more... know MR/Essex/Dundalk well because of friends and I lived in the city which can be much worse (can we say white family in a black neighborhood?). Hookers & drug deals on the corners and sleeping on the floor at night because of gunfire, it's why I said no more; school district or not, I would not have gone back. My home was cheap, but safety wasn't worth the low price

I left after my home was firebombed (it was in '92 - they were aiming for the house next to me) - I had to save all my kids in middle of the night, so yeah, it was time to go. Sometimes you have to give up what you know and just start over in a whole other town to get your head back in the right frame of mind... thankful I had a mom that bought me a beater car to go out of state.

[permanentvacation]

Needavaca,

You're right. And that's part of what I mean. I have been telling myself for the past few years that I have to truly acknowledge that my ex will not be helping me financially in a few years, then, as time went by, it was in 3 years, 2 years, now, it's actually that I am counting down the time in MONTHS and I absolutely have to realize that it is really HAPPENING SOON! The reality needs to hit me and I have got to step up to the plate and bust butt on my finances. I can't procrastinate any longer. I can't think that I have time. Time is really running out.

I have done some of the things that have been suggested to me on the forum from previous threads. But I haven't really buckled down and pinched every penny I can. That is partly because of me still allowing my ex to dictate to me how to handle my money. He is not doing that now, so I can make even more changes financially.

Some changes I have made from the advise you guys gave me before are:

I have stopped going out to eat other than maybe once every 2 or so weeks, then I only allow myself $10 for me and $10 for my daughter. Which is a drastic reduction from going out to eat almost every night and not paying attention to how much it cost. Lately, my daughter is being taken out to eat by her boyfriend, so I have only spent $10, typically on one container of shrimp lo mein on myself every couple weeks.

I have stopped driving around out of boredom to save on gas money and wear and tear on my vehicle. I couldn't tell you the last time that I 'went for a drive'.

I have stopped shopping unless I make a list of items that we truly need such as groceries and toiletries.

I haven't even bought a dollar iced tea from McDonald's in forever. I take a bottle of water in my car when I run errands so I won't have to buy a drink while I'm out.

I have reduced my grocery bill a lot.

I told my kids - they're old enough, 21 and 16 years old, that I will not buy anything for them for Christmas this year.

I didn't cut my cable off because when I mentioned doing so to my ex, he flipped out on me, but I did call the cable company and lower my bill.

I had gotten a part-time evening and Saturday job, but the manager needed me to come into work earlier than I could because of my daycare hours, so I had to quit the job. From that I learned that I need to do daycare during the week, and get a part-time job on the weekends. I can't fit a part-time job after my daycare hours. If I have 2 daycare kids and have them on the food program, I make what I would make going out to work full-time. So, to me it makes more sense to stick with daycare.

I had built up my daycare to a full load of 8 kids for a while, but then I let my emotional wants get ahead of my financial needs again and as kids or parents caused too many inconveniences with my family's needs/wants, I terminated them. Plus if a child cried too loudly and the neighbors got concerned, I would terminate that child. I did that with 2 kids. Now, I need to make myself put my finances ahead of my emotional wants and tell my neighbors that some kids just cry loud and they'll have to deal with it.

I bought a low price, but decent clothes washer because many people said that in the long run, I would save money by doing so than by using the laundry mat. We hang up our clothes instead of using the dryer to save money on drying our clothes.

I had a yard sale, but I really don't have much stuff, and the stuff that I have isn't really anything others would want to buy, so I didn't make much money, but I did make a little money.

I paid off my cell phone bill that was in collections and got a cheap, non-contract monthly rate. As a single mother, with a teen age driver, I really feel safer with a cell phone knowing that my daughter can get a hold of me if she has an emergency, so I really want a cell phone even though I know it's an extra cost.

I paid off my cat and dog's health insurance plans. I know, it sounds ridiculous to have health insurance plans for pets, but it was the most affordable way to get them their shots and spayed and neutered. But since I asked for financial advice from you guys, I have paid those 2 bills off.

I paid off and canceled my gym membership.

I paid my car insurance up for 6 months which saved me some money that I would have been charged for paying monthly.

I had all of my bills get changed over to online only not paper bills so they would give me a little discount for that.

I have told my daughter that I can not afford things she's asked for and stuck to my guns about it.

During this time, I had to take a couple of weeks off work for surgery and just to keep the couple of daycare kids I had, had to pay my assistant my entire pay for those weeks.

So, I have made some changes, but I haven't made enough changes. I need to do more.

Oh, and last college semester, I sold my books back to the college and this week am going to sell this semester's books back to the college. I have never looked into doing that before.

[permanentvacation]

Lyseskids,

So you know what type of area I am talking about. I am not over-exaggerating. It's scary here! After I moved into this house, I found out from my neighbors that the police did a drug raid on the previous tenants and took out multiple bags of drug paraphernalia. They were arrested. That's how the house became vacant again and without knowing that history, I moved in here. For quite some time, cars would drive up in front of my house and some questionable looking people would look up to my house. I started getting nervous that some druggie/gang member might have gotten mad at the old tenants and not know that I live here now instead of them and was afraid of the house being attacked. My sister suggested making major changes to the yard. So I put all my outdoor daycare toys out front, put a daycare sign out front, and planted some flowers and little shrubs to show the passersby that the drug addicts don't live here anymore.

I don't know how I would be if my house were firebombed!!! I'm so sorry that happened to you! And I'm glad your family is alright. A boy who knows my older daughter, his house in Essex was shot up. Luckily no one got hurt. The shooter got the wrong house. The intended target was the house across the street from his!

My sister used to live in Baltimore City. She and her kids have slept on the floor a few times because of gunfire. I refuse to have to live in the city! I will live homeless in the county before I get a home in the city!

So, you know that I truly want and need to get out of this area. It's just not the type of area I feel safe living in. I was raised in Alabama, in the country. I used to think these 'living situations' were just made up to make movies more scary and interesting! I went through a major culture shock when I first moved here!

My daughter and I call the man across the street from me "Hooker Man". He has a different really skanky looking hooker at his house every couple of nights. The one 'lady' was drugged up or drunk or something, wearing a very short dress sleeping in a chair on his porch. Her legs were completely spread open and she wasn't wearing anything under her dress! The man's next door neighbor's 5th grade daughter and her friends saw WAY TOO MUCH and were trying to wake the lady up to make her close her legs! I went over and hollered at her and got her to close her legs. That man and his 'guests' are just nasty!

When I lived here before, the house diagonally across the street from me was a hooker house. There were a handful of hookers that lived there.

Yeah, I've seen things here that I never thought I would see and actually never even thought was real when I was a kid. I've seen and experienced enough of the way this side of the world lives, it's time I move on to a more upscale area.

[LysesKids]

Permanent vacation

I live in TN for a reason now . cheaper to live and safer areas. I am only an 9 hr drive from you, so a one day move. I live enough outside of Knoxville that I'm not in a city but right by a River, and close enough to get decent shopping done when needed. My little community does background checks on everyone moving in here and they crack down on those that break policies - everyone cares and my daycare babies are safe here. Of course rates for childcare are lower than in MD too, but I am still on the high end and I have 4 kids - legally licensed exempt.

Downsizing can be good when starting over, I still don't have cable, but I do internet, prepaid phone and I go out to eat once every few weeks (my current beau treats me weekly on Sundays too). I have half the size home I did up north, but I'm ok with it too. less space to worry about. My car is paid off and all my kids grew up and left home. I will be in Frederick & B-more counties for Christmas because of family & friends

[permanentvacation]

Lyseskids,

Wow! That's so wild! Frederick is the area my daughter lives - the area I want to move to! She's in her Senior year at Hood College. I've been to Frederick many times since she started college and really fell in love with the area. It's so clean, the people are well-mannered and respectful, the landscape is beautiful with the mountains in the distant. The only thing I don't like about Frederick is that it's farther north, therefore colder and has even more snow than here. I don't particularly care for the cold.

Since you know both areas, I'm sure you know the difference between where I live now, in Middle River, and where I want to move to, Frederick! There's a big difference in the two areas! I would much rather live in Frederick than Middle River.

And I have a long-time family friend that lives in Tennessee. Her family and my family were friends when I was a kid living in Alabama. She moved to South Fulton, Tennessee a while ago. I know nothing about her area. I've never been to Tennessee. She seems to really like where she lives. She's posted pictures of her yard on Facebook. She has a LARGE yard next to a corn field. She said it's really a peaceful area.

Because my younger daughter will go to college in Maryland after she graduates high school, I need to stay in Maryland to get her 'in state' college rates. Plus, I don't want to move too far away from either of my children just yet.

[LysesKids]

Lyseskids,

Wow! That's so wild! Frederick is the area my daughter lives - the area I want to move to! She's in her Senior year at Hood College. I've been to Frederick many times since she started college and really fell in love with the area. It's so clean, the people are well-mannered and respectful, the landscape is beautiful with the mountains in the distant. The only thing I don't like about Frederick is that it's farther north, therefore colder and has even more snow than here. I don't particularly care for the cold.

Since you know both areas, I'm sure you know the difference between where I live now, in Middle River, and where I want to move to, Frederick! There's a big difference in the two areas! I would much rather live in Frederick than Middle River.

And I have a long-time family friend that lives in Tennessee. Her family and my family were friends when I was a kid living in Alabama. She moved to South Fulton, Tennessee a while ago. I know nothing about her area. I've never been to Tennessee. She seems to really like where she lives. She's posted pictures of her yard on Facebook. She has a LARGE yard next to a corn field. She said it's really a peaceful area.

Because my younger daughter will go to college in Maryland after she graduates high school, I need to stay in Maryland to get her 'in state' college rates. Plus, I don't want to move too far away from either of my children just yet.

Frederick is not cheap in a lot of areas... and if you go out past Woodsboro or Walkersville (like Thurmont) there used to be alot of clan (mainly blood related)
There are gangs in the city... Crips & Bloods, people don't talk about them, but they were there 15 years ago, so I doubt they left (I lived in Frederick when I first left B-more and my daughter was neutral friends with people in both ; long story). Now if you go more towards Boonsboro, not so much issues. My sister lives in Walkersville, but it's gotten pricy. You won't be saving $$ moving from where you are to that county.

I grew up in MD and lived there a good part of my life... places that were country & farms 20 years ago are built up now to the point I won't come back to live. See here in TN, when a child graduates high school they automatically get 2 free years at community college; they passed the law earlier this year. Something thing to think about

[permanentvacation]

I know that Frederick is not a cheap area. When I go to visit my daughter, I make a point to check out the area. We usually get something to eat at a different restaurant each time, sometimes we'll go to a 'real' restaurant, other times go to a fast food restaurant, go to a park, walk through the local shops, and every once in a while, go to the grocery stores, clothing stores, and other 'regular stores' so I can get an idea of prices in the area. Keep in mind that my daughter is a college kid who has to watch her expenses too. So she has learned of the 'affordable' restaurants as well as found the more affordable places to shop for necessary items like groceries, clothing, etc. So, she's shown me how to afford to live in Frederick and still enjoy your life.

The little apartment that I would like to move into cost the same as the 3 bedroom and full basement townhouse I currently live in. But the area is safer and overall nicer. I did find some cheaper apartments in a lower section of Frederick. I think, after living in Middle River, I can handle living in the 'lower section' of Frederick. I would be much safer there as a little old lady than I will be here.

I am also taking into consideration that it will just be me, not my daughter and I. So, my groceries, laundry, cooking, electricity, etc. will be less expensive than I am paying now for the two of us.

Plus, if I can get to the point that I either rent a home or buy a home that allows me to do daycare in, I would get paid much better for daycare there than here. I would think that if I move there and keep a full-time job as well as a part-time job for a couple of years while I pay off my debt and fix my credit, once I have no debt, I should be okay.

There are a few really nice, safe, parks there that I would enjoy spending time at for free. There's a main street that my daughter has taken me to a few times in the middle of Frederick that has little shops and restaurants. I like just walking there and 'sight seeing'. I have never felt the need to buy anything in the shops, I like just looking around. You can go hiking in the mountains there, which is free. The apartments that I would like to move to has a swimming pool, tennis court, and basketball court; all of which I enjoy. I think I would be able to occupy myself and enjoy myself for fairly low cost there.

I have looked into the cost of houses there. A nice house in the nicer section is most likely always going to be out of my reach, but there are smaller single family houses and townhouses in the 'okay' area of Frederick that are the same prices as homes in Middle River.

I think, if I learn to handle my finances well, I will be alright in Frederick. But I know I need to get a good handle on my finances in the next 17 months or I won't be able to live in Frederick or anywhere for that matter.

My daughter's boyfriend's mother lives in Walkersville. I don't know anything about the area. I did drive through it and a couple of other cities close to Frederick one time just to see the what was near her, but I have not spent any real time in any of the other cities. I haven't even met his mother and they have been dating for 3 years and living together for the past 2 years. I just think I should have met his mother by now. But that's another story.

[MOM OF 4 LOGGED OUT]

I have a book called "Financial Peace Revisited" Dave Ramsey. If you want it, I can let you have it. I had to buy for a college course. Of course PM me under MOM OF 4 and it may be a couple days, bc of my schedule.

Other than that, maybe go to a state agency and ask for assistance? I don't know exactly what they do.

[LysesKids]

I know that Frederick is not a cheap area. When I go to visit my daughter, I make a point to check out the area. We usually get something to eat at a different restaurant each time, sometimes we'll go to a 'real' restaurant, other times go to a fast food restaurant, go to a park, walk through the local shops, and every once in a while, go to the grocery stores, clothing stores, and other 'regular stores' so I can get an idea of prices in the area. Keep in mind that my daughter is a college kid who has to watch her expenses too. So she has learned of the 'affordable' restaurants as well as found the more affordable places to shop for necessary items like groceries, clothing, etc. So, she's shown me how to afford to live in Frederick and still enjoy your life.

The little apartment that I would like to move into cost the same as the 3 bedroom and full basement townhouse I currently live in. But the area is safer and overall nicer. I did find some cheaper apartments in a lower section of Frederick. I think, after living in Middle River, I can handle living in the 'lower section' of Frederick. I would be much safer there as a little old lady than I will be here.

I am also taking into consideration that it will just be me, not my daughter and I. So, my groceries, laundry, cooking, electricity, etc. will be less expensive than I am paying now for the two of us.

Plus, if I can get to the point that I either rent a home or buy a home that allows me to do daycare in, I would get paid much better for daycare there than here. I would think that if I move there and keep a full-time job as well as a part-time job for a couple of years while I pay off my debt and fix my credit, once I have no debt, I should be okay.

There are a few really nice, safe, parks there that I would enjoy spending time at for free. There's a main street that my daughter has taken me to a few times in the middle of Frederick that has little shops and restaurants. I like just walking there and 'sight seeing'. I have never felt the need to buy anything in the shops, I like just looking around. You can go hiking in the mountains there, which is free. The apartments that I would like to move to has a swimming pool, tennis court, and basketball court; all of which I enjoy. I think I would be able to occupy myself and enjoy myself for fairly low cost there.

I have looked into the cost of houses there. A nice house in the nicer section is most likely always going to be out of my reach, but there are smaller single family houses and townhouses in the 'okay' area of Frederick that are the same prices as homes in Middle River.

I think, if I learn to handle my finances well, I will be alright in Frederick. But I know I need to get a good handle on my finances in the next 17 months or I won't be able to live in Frederick or anywhere for that matter.

My daughter's boyfriend's mother lives in Walkersville. I don't know anything about the area. I did drive through it and a couple of other cities close to Frederick one time just to see the what was near her, but I have not spent any real time in any of the other cities. I haven't even met his mother and they have been dating for 3 years and living together for the past 2 years. I just think I should have met his mother by now. But that's another story.

The section of Main street with shops is the ok area ( I used to love eating at a few places there)... they light it up at night for the Holidays.

Walkersville/Woodsboro/Liberty is more country but pricey... lots of new shops on 26/94 have shot up in the last few years as you leave Frederick city heading out that way ( I shopped at Wegmans for the first time 2 weeks ago). Hood is a good College... took a few classes there when I lived on Key Parkway (too rich for my blood now ). Thurmont is a cute town. Cunningham Falls has a great lake for swimming & fishing, but it's on national/state park land about a mile from Camp David (RT 77 in Thurmont). You pay by the car to get in and there is no cell service for obvious reasons... we use to watch the helicopters fly over on weekends when we were there; lots of picnic space too...

[permanentvacation]

Momof4,

Thank you. I researched online and found a free download of Financial Peace Revisited and saved it to my computer. I have been skimming through it already.

[permanentvacation]

Lyseskids,

My daughter loves Hood College. She's done very well there. She's only able to go there because I'm so broke and she had really good grades in high school. She got a lot of FASFA money, grants, and a couple of loans. The college is extremely expensive. If she didn't get all the free money, she never would have been able to go there.

I don't know if this farm is in Frederick or not, but my daughter drove us to a farm that has a zebra! That was so cool! I've never known a farmer to have a zebra.

I would really love to live in a more country setting, but because of doing daycare, I need to stay in a more populated area. If the country areas are more expensive, that's alright. I would be happy just taking rides through the countryside on occasion.

I did hear that a section of Frederick has a heroin problem. But it seems to be contained to that specific section. And after living in Middle River, one little area with a drug issue that doesn't really bleed out to the rest of the city, I can handle.

I just pulled up Mapquest and found Thurmont. I might have driven to there with my daughter once. She took us past Catoctin Zoo which is in Thurmont. We just drove down the main road for her to show us a little of the areas around Frederick. We just drove down the main road. I don't even remember how far we went or where we turned around. But I might have actually been in Thurmont for a few minutes.