I Need Advice on Preparing to Move

[Heidi]

http://baltimore.craigslist.org/edu/4785364493.html

I don't know where in Maryland you are, but here's an example...

[Sugar Magnolia]

PV-

How about seeing about a nanny job? It sounds like you've only got 2 kiddos (based on your weekly income). Someone with your experience should be marketable as a nanny, and be able to make double what you're making, I'd think.

This is a really good idea Heidi!

[permanentvacation]

I have been a nanny twice. Once in Florida and once up here in Maryland. The family I worked for here in Maryland fired me because I needed to take 2 days off for an operation I needed. I scheduled my operation for Christmas week because I knew that both the mother and father would be home from work all week. I really didn't think they would need me every day while BOTH parents were also home. They fired me the day before Christmas because I needed the following 2 days off for the operation (Which I had given them a month's notice about!). It made me nervous to put my faith and need of income in only one family.

If I do home daycare, if one family leaves, I still have income from the other families. Also, if I need to take a day or two off to tend to my daughter, go to doctor appointments, etc. I hire my substitute to work for me and all of my daycare parents are alright with that. I don't have to be afraid of losing all of my income at once.

However, I am not making as much as I should as a licensed daycare provider or what I would as a nanny.

I have a daycare interview scheduled for tomorrow night and I have started quoting a higher rate. I used to make (and should make) $1,200/week doing home daycare. There's no excuse for me to average only $300/week now. I need to raise my rates. My contract is a yearly contract and expires every December 31st. That's so I can make changes to it or change my rates. The two babies I have are at a lower rate than the average rate here. I am going to try to raise their rates for the new year. If the parents aren't able to pay more for the new year, I will start advertising for new babies at the going rate.

I have torn up the carpet in my dining room. My ex said he would lend me the tools I need to fix up the hardwood floor which is under the carpet. However, he backed out of his agreement and won't lend me the tools I need. Since he refused to loan me the tools I need, I simply threw my hands up in the air and completely gave up on finishing the dining room floor. I need to figure out a way to get the tools I need on my own and finish the floor. Honestly, with the floor the way it is, I wouldn't hire me right now! My living room is just fine, and that's the only room I'm using for the daycare for right now. But you can see the dining room floor from the living room. With the dining room floor not finished, it really gives a negative feeling about my home.

I also have an 'office area' in my living room which is the only room I am using for daycare right now. If I move my 'office' to my bedroom, it will allow more space for the daycare. If the daycare room is ALL daycare things ONLY, I think it will be more appealing to daycare parents.

Over the past couple of years, I think because I know that I don't have much more time with my daughter because of her planning to move away to college after graduating high school, I have put emotional needs/wants ahead of financial needs. I would not take a daycare family if their hours would not allow me to see my daughter's sports games. If a daycare family's hours or the child or parents didn't quite fit with my family, I would not take that family on or I would terminate them. I have been slacking as a business woman to be an emotional mother. I can't do that any more. I am running out of time to get my finances in order so I will be able to support myself when my daughter graduates high school and my ex-husband will no longer be required to pay me child support and will most likely stop helping me financially. I need to stop putting my emotional wants ahead of my financial needs.

I would like to try to stay in home daycare if I can get a better income from it. I am going to make more of an effort to fix my dining room floor and raise my rates. If I can't get a decent income from daycare in a few weeks, then I will look into going out to work as a nanny or something.

[midaycare]

I've been broke and I've done well. My suggestion to learn how to handle money is the book The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. Also, he is on the air for 2-3 hours a day. Try to find him on am radio. If you do and listen for a few months, you will get most of his ideas for free. I think his website keeps his last week of shows for free, too.

[LysesKids]

And this evening, within a 5 minute drive, there is, yet again, another armed robbery. This time, of a business.

The amount of violent crime in my area is absurd!

If I didn't know better I would say you are either in the worst part of Baltimore I know ( lived there and got out)... either that or a part of PG county I won't go near either. It did take me running to a crisis shelter with my kids to get out... The shelter sent me out of county to start over.

MD is expensive to begin with compared to other states, so just going over the border to WV can allow you to care for up to 3 kids without a license. Sometimes you just got to downsize and keep your hopes up.

[permanentvacation]

Midaycare,

A while ago, I went to Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace class that was offered at my church. As many times as I have tried, I can't even get step 1; save $1,000 done and for me, the amount I need to save is actually only $500 because my income is so low. However, I know it's in a large part due to the fact that I haven't truly focused on saving money. Now that I only have 17 months, I really need to work hard on my finances.

I haven't read Dave's Total Money Makeover or gone to that class. But since I was a member of his Financial Peace class, I'm supposed to still be able to see classes on his website. I'll check out his website today.

Thank you.

[permanentvacation]

Lyseskids,

I am in Middle River. I live in the neighborhood called Hawthorne (behind Gereseback's grocery store) which is off of Eastern Avenue.

The neighborhood has A LOT of gangs and drugs. Typically, during the day, things are quiet. But it's gotten to the point that at night, even some of the gang members won't go outside! Your typical family that is not involved in that life style is usually not affected by them. Typically, the people getting shot are involved in a drug deal gone bad, someone who knows that drug dealer lives in a certain house, has money there, and guns, so the one gang will break into the other gang member's house, or if the gang member/drug dealer they want to shoot is in jail, they might shoot one of his family members because they can't get to the one they really want. So, usually, a regular person like me who isn't in that lifestyle is safe enough here. HOWEVER, in the past year or so, they are breaking into regular people's houses, going through our cars overnight to see if there's something to steal in them. If you lock your car windows, there's a good chance that they will be broken one morning. A month or so ago, a regular boy, not in the drug life, was walking with a book bag on his back that had a video game system in it to go to his friend's house to play videos. He was robbed of his book bag at gun point. A while ago, at night, a drug dealer was shot (he lived, but is paralyzed for life) on the school grounds of Hawthorne Elementary. They are robbing regular people who have nothing to do with the drug/gang life more often just when they are walking down the sidewalks or in parking lots, and more stores are being robbed at gunpoint in my area. A while ago, there was a swat team in my neighborhood to get a man out of a house who had shot someone, then ran into his girlfriend's house and held people hostage in the house. A while ago, a cashier got stabbed while working at the register in Gereseback's grocery store which is at the entrance of my neighborhood. A year or so ago, a regular (not drug/gang related) was shot (I don't remember if she died or what the outcome of her being shot was) while she was taking out her trash. That was really the only time I know of when a drug/gang member missed their intended target and accidentally shot an innocent person here.

We actually lived in another house in this neighborhood years ago, before I separated from my ex-husband. At that time, my kids were younger and one day when my older daughter was riding her bike in the park here. She came home all frantic and said she had just witnessed one man shoot at another man! Around that time frame, I personally sat in my house, looking out the front window and watched my neighbors (who are one of the biggest drug dealers in my neighborhood) a few houses up unload all sorts of guns out of a box truck! I couldn't wait to get out of this neighborhood after I separated from my ex back then. I really didn't want to move back into the neighborhood, but it was the only place I could find in my price range and my daughter's school district at the time that I needed to move a few years ago. So, I did know what I was moving into, but I really didn't want to have to move here, and don't want to stay here any longer than I have to.

I feel like I live in a little mini-Baltimore City.

[midaycare]

Midaycare,

A while ago, I went to Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace class that was offered at my church. As many times as I have tried, I can't even get step 1; save $1,000 done and for me, the amount I need to save is actually only $500 because my income is so low. However, I know it's in a large part due to the fact that I haven't truly focused on saving money. Now that I only have 17 months, I really need to work hard on my finances.

I haven't read Dave's Total Money Makeover or gone to that class. But since I was a member of his Financial Peace class, I'm supposed to still be able to see classes on his website. I'll check out his website today.

Thank you.

Okay, I'm not trying to be a bad news Betty, but if you can't save $500, a move probably isn't in your future unless you can take on a second job or quit daycare for a better paying first job. Moving is really expensive! I've done it 7 times in 8 years due to DH's job.

There are always things you never think about, and if credit is poor, companies find ways to make you pay more. For instance, in order to set up utilities, you may have a $200-$500 deposit. An apartment will most likely include first and last month's rent, and again, if credit is poor, maybe more. It took my DSD 10 months before she could find an apt that would accept her due to credit. And she had the help financially of her boyfriend.

It is so great that that you are planning this far ahead. I would say find a way to bring your income up and make sure you can get an apt or house over in that area. I don't know your credit, but you mentioned having some issues.

If it's just you moving, I would say the very least you need (without a job) is $8000. If you have a job and just need moving expenses, then about $3000-$4000. But not knowing the cost of things in the area, I can't be certain. I come from a very reasonably priced area.

[permanentvacation]

Now, it's not ALL horrible here. Last night I went to a Christmas concert at the local fire hall. It was very nice. All it cost was a donated canned good that will be given to feed the hungry in the area. There is a local concert band that played Christmas music, there were door prizes, a Santa and Mrs. Clause, and free refreshments. The fire hall was decorated beautifully for Christmas. The entire program was just awesome. So, there are some nice things about my area. It's just that the amount of violent crime, in my opinion, outweighs the nice things here. And makes me literally nervous to live here.

[permanentvacation]

And there are plenty of regular families that are not involved in drugs or gangs. The regular families really do out number the drug dealers and gang members. But, the amount of violent crimes the bad guys commit are way too violent and way too often for me to feel comfortable here.

[permanentvacation]

So, back to thinking about how to get money to move...

I called my daycare specialist and found out that it's no longer required to have a land line phone (house phone) for daycare. I also called my cable company which I have the house phone, cable, and internet through. I found out that if I cut off my house phone and cable, I can save $45/month.

I have turned my heat down 4 degrees.

I told my one daycare parent this morning that I want to raise my rate by $30/week beginning in January. She actually said that's fine and had no problem it. However, her husband is being promoted and they don't know what his new hours will be. They might not even need daycare by mid-January! UGHHHH! So, if they don't need daycare, I will advertise to replace their child and quote a higher rate for a new baby.

I know I don't have many extra things, but I am going to look around to see what I can sell at a yard sale.

I am going to start putting my food program money into my savings account which currently has about 20 cents in it! I talked with the apartment complex that I would like to move to in my daughter's area. They said that me having debt and things in collections won't get me turned down, it will just make it so I have to pay a higher down payment (typically 2 months rent to move in rather than 1 month's rent), so, I would be better to save cash rather than pay off my collections and debt.

My plan is to save as close to $6,000 as possible and at the same time, pay at least $20/month on my debt and collections accounts mainly to help raise my credit score. Starting in January, 2015, I will have 73 weeks before my daughter graduates high school and I hope to be able to move. So, if I save $83/week for those 73 weeks, I will have $6,000. By starting my timeline on January 1st rather than today, it gives me a couple of weeks to try to get some more daycare kids and try to get a weekend job so that as of the beginning of January, I will be have some extra money to set aside.

I will look for a weekend job and advertise more while making my daycare more attractive to try to get more daycare kids and I will raise my daycare rates. I will offer daycare later in the evenings Monday - Friday. There really isn't a need for daycare on the weekends here, so I would be better getting a weekend job out of the house.

Instead of putting my office things in my bedroom - they won't fit there anyway and I really do use them for daycare purposes, I have decided to put my office in the dining room. I am also going to put my non-baby proof preschool manipulatives and bookshelf with my educational games/activities that the kids are not allowed to get by themselves into the dining room and put a baby gate to block off the dining room. That will keep everything I use during the day on the main floor, but allow more space for the kids in the living room. Most people in my area only use the living room for daycare, so it should be alright to just use my living room for the kids. I will also start blocking my dog off in the dining room so he is down here with us, I can go into the dining room to give him attention during the day, but he's not 'in the daycare area'. The only problem with this idea is that I have to buy a baby gate. The one I need is about $80! It's extra wide (to fit in the opening from the dining room to the living room),extra tall (so my dog can't jump over it), has a easy open handle and a cat door at the bottom. Even though the gate I need is expensive, it is still cheaper, and faster, than renting the tools I need that my ex now won't lend me and buying the hardwood stain/paint and brushes and items needed to finish the floor. Since it will be blocked off from the daycare and used as my office and dog room, hopefully parents won't mind that the floor isn't completely finished.

I am also going to create a financial goal chart to give me a visual of how much money I have saved, how much I've paid my debts down, and how close I am to my goals. That will make me focus on my financial goals on a daily/weekly basis to keep me excited about working towards my goals.

I have copied and saved these plans onto my computer so I can keep track of what I plan to do to save money.

Any other ideas?

[craftymissbeth]

I've been broke and I've done well. My suggestion to learn how to handle money is the book The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. Also, he is on the air for 2-3 hours a day. Try to find him on am radio. If you do and listen for a few months, you will get most of his ideas for free. I think his website keeps his last week of shows for free, too.

This was what I was going to suggest, too. I'm using this book to pull myself up by my boot straps and get out of this mess I've dug. I bought several of these books when they were $10 a few weeks ago and I'm giving them as gifts for Christmas

[craftymissbeth]

If you put that $45 directly into savings every month then that will get you $540 in a year! That's awesome!

[craftymissbeth]

PV, if you PM me your email address I can send you a TON of budgeting printables I bought awhile back. They're editable and extremely helpful.

[permanentvacation]

Midaycare,

You're not being bad news Betty. You are being realistic. My track record is horrible! I have never supported myself - EVER! I have never relied just on myself financially. I have always done the 'mom' job of nurturing the children, taking them to their activities, and tending to the house. Yes, I have always been employed, but I RELIED on my husband and then ex-husband to really take care of my girls and myself financially. I have always been able to go to my ex and say I need money and he'd give me money - often accompanied by cussing me out, but I would get the money handed to me. This is why I am so nervous about the fact that I truly need to set financial goals and Hell or high water, MUST meet those goals all by myself.

I plan to be employed here until I move and plan to obtain a job in the new area before I move there. I have been researching jobs in that area and have actually already spoken with a couple of daycare centers in the new area to get an idea of how much they need people and what the rate of pay is in that area. I think I will be able to get a job there quickly enough that pays a decent salary when I need to. I am sure, mainly because of my debt, that I will need to have a full time job as well as a part-time job starting as soon as possible and lasting at least until I pay off all my debt and collections accounts.

Part of the reason that I couldn't save $500 or do much of anything right with my money is that my ex would dictate to me what to do with my money. I knew I shouldn't have allowed him to control me and my money. But he gets so abusive; verbally, emotionally, threatens me, won't help with any money if I don't do with my money what he demands me to, etc. that I just obeyed him rather than stand my ground regarding my income. But now he's stopped controlling my money. And my daughter has a job. She hasn't started yet. She goes in Friday to discuss her schedule and everything. So, I can now start taking control of my money and doing with it what I know I need to. The problem is that since I let my ex control my finances for so long, I have a good bit of debt to pay off. But I am going to figure this out. I will, I have to be able to support myself in 17 months.

I might not be able to move right when my daughter graduates, but I really hope to be able to do so and I am going to really work towards being able to do so. I know, especially since I have NEVER planned and saved towards anything, that there's a good chance I will mess myself up somewhere along the way and that I won't stay focused on my goal. But I have to realize that my ex-husband is most likely not going to give me one red penny by June of 2016. So, somehow I have to train and condition myself to make financial goals, rely only on myself, and actually achieve those goals.

Actually, I did, once, create a financial goal for myself and achieve it. Right after my ex and I separated and sold our house, I paid off all of my debt then and was actually debt free for about 2 years. I made a plan and stuck to it. Of course, at that time, we had sold the house and I was able to put a good bit of money from the proceeds of the house towards my debt, but I still had debt that I had to work for a while to pay off.

Then my ex started demanding that I allow our kids to do things that couldn't afford, but to keep from having him cuss me out and yell at me, I obeyed him. Which led to me getting into debt like I am. But now, my ex, recently, has started paying for our daughter's activities himself. And my daughter got hired at a restaurant. She's supposed to start working soon. So, she will have her own money. She also has been dating a boy for 7 months now who has been taking her out for dinner often over the past couple of months, so she doesn't eat much of our household groceries. Which saves me grocery money.

So, basically, this is the first time in 21 years that I really have complete control over my money! My ex isn't dictating to me how to spend my money and my daughter is going to make her own spending money. If I truly focus on how I handle my money, I just might be able to be able to achieve my financial goals!