A Different Kind Of Termination

[Unregistered]

Okay ladies, I need your help. I searched the forum for termination notices but they were all for behavior, or not following policies, or for closing the whole daycare.

I am in a different situation. I need to make space for a family member's baby (I wouldnt do care for any other family/friends children but we are very very close and they are very conscious of my policies). They have had years of infertility and are now finally becoming parents I am so excited to have their baby in daycare.

But that means I need to make a space. I need a nice way to term a very sweet family that I have had for over a year. I would like to end it nicely. Anyone been in this situation before? How did you word the termination? How did it work out?

TIA!

[Blackcat31]

Is there a start date for the new baby yet?

I've been in this situation before and can help you with the term letter but am wondering about the details of the start date first......

[daycare]

Okay ladies, I need your help. I searched the forum for termination notices but they were all for behavior, or not following policies, or for closing the whole daycare.

I am in a different situation. I need to make space for a family member's baby (I wouldnt do care for any other family/friends children but we are very very close and they are very conscious of my policies). They have had years of infertility and are now finally becoming parents I am so excited to have their baby in daycare.

But that means I need to make a space. I need a nice way to term a very sweet family that I have had for over a year. I would like to end it nicely. Anyone been in this situation before? How did you word the termination? How did it work out?

TIA!

to each their own, but I would never do what you are doing for a close friend. I have found that friends/family NEVER work out in business. I should not say never I should say almost NEVER.

however, to answer your question, I would just say this..

Dear DCF,

Due to some changes within the daycare, It is with a heavy heart that I inform you that I will no longer be able to provide services for XXX. This was a very difficult decision to have to make because you have been such wonderful clients and we absolutely adore XXX. We have grown to love and know her like our own.

XXX will be the last day that we can provide services for XXX. I would love to offer my assistance in helping you to find another provider, it is the least that I can do.

I really appreciate your understanding with this matter and am sad that we will have part ways so soon.

For your convenience, here is the phone number for our local resource and referral dept dept.

Best
DCP

[Heidi]

to each their own, but I would never do what you are doing for a close friend. I have found that friends/family NEVER work out in business. I should not say never I should say almost NEVER.

however, to answer your question, I would just say this..

Dear DCF,

Due to some changes within the daycare, It is with a heavy heart that I inform you that I will no longer be able to provide services for XXX. This was a very difficult decision to have to make because you have been such wonderful clients and we absolutely adore XXX. We have grown to love and know her like our own.

XXX will be the last day that we can provide services for XXX. I would love to offer my assistance in helping you to find another provider, it is the least that I can do.

I really appreciate your understanding with this matter and am sad that we will have part ways so soon.

For your convenience, here is the phone number for our local resource and referral dept dept.

Best
DCP

[Cat Herder]

You do not have to give a reason. In fact the less you say, the better when it comes to a termination.

I know of no way to terminate someone and have them happy with you. I don't think it exists.

It will be a betrayal to them just as it would be to you if they left you suddenly to have GMA keep the kid.

Do what you feel you have to do, then go on with your life.

[Heidi]

I'd ask you a couple more things:

1. When is this going to happen? Don't' get too excited and term too early!

2. Do you have a signed contract and a deposit with your friend? If not, nail that down.

3. One of my dcp's is a close friend. I was there at the kiddo's birth. It's had it's challenges. Nothing major, but it is 3x as hard having "a talk" with a friend than a "mere" client.

4. Would new baby put you out of ratio or over numbers? If out of ratio, for how long (in WI, over or under 2 is a big difference, for instance). Could you keep both kids, get an exception, offer your old family part time for a while, or ask new mom to juggle her maternity leave or have a family member help out for a while?

[Unregistered]

Cat herder - I agree, but want to at least try for a nice end (even though it is not likely).

Heidi - Thank you for your thoughts and advise. Contract is signed and notarized, the handbook has been gone over word for word with both parents of the new baby multiple times and i had them both sign each page, deposit is paid as is the first month of care (because they trust me and know that by giving this term notice i will most likely lose at least a month of income from the family I am terming). I even made them go look at other daycares before signing my contract to see what is out there, and what fees and policies they would have to agree to at other places. The baby's start date is timed perfectly (to the day) to fit into my age/ratio, and there is no possibility of me keeping the other child as I run a very small daycare and have my own kids that count in my ratio for many years to come. I am not making this decision lightly. I just want to word the termination in the kindest way possible while being professional about it. I appreciate any input you have.

[Unregistered]

Oops, I posted a reply to daycare and BC but it didn't go through. Trying again:

daycare: I totally understand your view on family/friend care and completely agree (i have even passed along the same advise many times), but this is the one and only person in the whole world I would do this for and I know it is the right decision. Thank you for the example term letter, and for helping even when you dont agree.

BC - I would very much appreciate your help! The baby will start mid January and I plan to give the family I am terming 60 days notice since it is during the holidays, and because I want to give them time to find great care since they are wonderful and I love their child. I do know that they might term immediately and am prepared for that outcome as well. I do not have to give any notice (per my handbook).

[Unregistered]

Today is the day, the letter is written. Now to figure out what to say at pick-up time when I hand them the letter...and what if other daycare parents are here picking up at the same time? Yikes, I just want today to be over!

I hate terminations but usually I have a list of policies they have not followed or child's bad behavior to back it up. This time it is a completely different situation and I feel really bad.

[CraftyMom]

Today is the day, the letter is written. Now to figure out what to say at pick-up time when I hand them the letter...and what if other daycare parents are here picking up at the same time? Yikes, I just want today to be over!

I hate terminations but usually I have a list of policies they have not followed or child's bad behavior to back it up. This time it is a completely different situation and I feel really bad.

Not that it makes a difference, just my own curiosity...how did you decide which child to term? I have never been in this situation but I imagine it would be difficult, unless you have one dck (or parent) that gives you trouble or you dislike. But since you like these people, were they the last to sign on?

Good luck, hope it goes well I think you are kind to give them 60 days.

[Annalee]

Just some thoughts...I know the contract/policy/handbook has been dealt with but do they understand group/family child care....as first-time parents, a child can be overwhelming and these parents are becoming parents after a time of infertility.....there may be issues that arise quickly...i.e. how they expect you to be one on one with their child....this may NOT be an issue but just keep it in mind...

[Unregistered]

Crafty Mom - They were the last to enroll, plus although they are very nice they do pick up late a lot (they just pay the late fee like its no big deal) and I would have put my foot down but I have known for a long time that I would be terming them for this new baby so i just let it slide. They are a wonderful family though and I blame myself for the late pick-ups becoming a problem so I chose not to include that in my decision.

Annalee - Yes they fully understand the group care aspect and have been around my daycare for many years so know what to expect and are very excited to have their baby in care.

[Wednesday!]

How did it go with the termed dcm?

[Unregistered]

Wednesday- Thanks for asking.

So I was sick all day about it, I just hate doing these types of things even when there is a good reason for it. When the kids went down for nap my family member brought over their newborn baby for me to hold for "courage" because they know that this is hard for me and it was very sweet. I am so lucky to have this wonderful opportunity to be a huge part of this baby's life and have my kids grow up close with their family! I didn't have that growing up want that for my kids.

When they left I settled down to get some paperwork done on the computer and low and behold the DCM arrives early, without notice, while everyone was still sleeping. It actually couldnt have been planned better and we had lots of time to sit and talk. We both got teary and she responded very well and was very sweet about it. Now I know that it is going to hit her later this weekend and her and her husband might feel different after they have time to think about it, but I am hopeful that it will still end on good terms. I told them I would help them find new care and write them a reference letter if needed.

I have been dreading doing this term for months but am glad to have it over. Now I can really enjoy the time they have left and be excited for the new baby to start in January.

[Sunchimes]

I know it's late. But I termed someone to make room for a newborn sibling (not related to me). I didn't have contracts, etc in those days, so I just talked to her about it. I explained that I needed to make room, and she was the last one in. She took it well. Over the last 3 years, she has called me for drop in care, I've invited her daughter over for daycare play dates (she was best friends with the 2 remaining girls), and she wanted me to take her new baby, but I didn't have an opening. We see each other around town regularly, and have remained friendly. So, it is possible.