Do You Think We Are Completely Biased?

[Butter Biskets]

Do you ever think that getting advice from here can be completely biased to our (daycare provider's) way of thinking? Whenever I come in here to vent or read what is going on, I almost always see support for our side of the story, but how would our complaints sound to impartial listeners? Are we bitter towards the parents and do we end up creating more drama than there really is or are we finally growing a backbone? What are your thoughts?

[Thriftylady]

I don't think we are biased exactly, we just have so much experience with some things that we know exactly what we are talking about!

[nannyde]

We can only go on the information we see in the posts.

People don't come on daycare boards to ask questions about how to manage well behaving children or well behaving daycare parents. You can be a brand new provider and be able to easily manage them with little skill set.

There aren't classes to tell providers how to work with parents who pay on time, bring their kid clean, dressed, and ready for the day, come on time to pick up, expect excellent behavior out of their children, are respectful to the provider etc. The classes don't exist because any fool can figure out how to manage well behaved people.

The boards naturally lean toward maladaptive behaviors of both kids and parents. That is much more difficult to manage so they are going to need help or a place to talk about it.

The reason the average poster believes is because a similar or exact situation has happened to them.

Veteran boardies can tell the difference between attention seeking post or posts where someone has come to get help when they have done something wrong and they want help figuring out a way to get out of it. If it doesn't pass the smell test, it will be uncovered.

Other than that, everyone has to take the posts for face value. There are a lot of very very badly behaved people with kids who purchase daycare services. That's just the fact.

[Thriftylady]

Ok maybe that sounds snarky, I didn't mean it to . I guess what I was trying to say is that I think you hit the backbone thing on the head.

[preschoolteacher]

Do you ever think that getting advice from here can be completely biased to our (daycare provider's) way of thinking? Whenever I come in here to vent or read what is going on, I almost always see support for our side of the story, but how would our complaints sound to impartial listeners? Are we bitter towards the parents and do we end up creating more drama than there really is or are we finally growing a backbone? What are your thoughts?

I think an impartial listener would tend to find a lot of what we say as unfair towards the parents.

Most people are parents. Few people are daycare providers. So I think most people identify with the parents' perspective... they simply cannot understand our perspective.

I personally think we are right.

[Heidi]

I agree with Nan, and would also add that in many of our cases, we were once "daycare parents". Most of us do get that working and having a family is a challenge.

We don't expect perfection (well, I don't, anyway...). We expect common sense and respect. The rest is "gravy".

In return, we'd all probably bend over backwards to help a parent or child, often going way beyond the call of duty. As long as it's not expected, right?

[Blackcat31]

Do you ever think that getting advice from here can be completely biased to our (daycare provider's) way of thinking? Whenever I come in here to vent or read what is going on, I almost always see support for our side of the story, but how would our complaints sound to impartial listeners? Are we bitter towards the parents and do we end up creating more drama than there really is or are we finally growing a backbone? What are your thoughts?

IMHO, not very well.

You will RARELY read a positive parent post here.

A lot of what is posted IS biased but at the same time, how can it not be?

We apply what WE know from our perspectives....whether that be from a woman's perspective, a provider's prospective, a business owner's perspective or a parent's prospective.

There have been several threads posted over the course of my membership here that have made me cringe. Not because of what's said or the subject matter always but a lot of times because of how it's said....kwim?

For me, I have personal rules about what I will and won't post on a public forum. I would never post something (even in private) that I wouldn't say in public. I stand behind the things I put in print and strive to be professional at all times.


With that being said though.....everyone views things differently and the BEST lesson I have taken from being part of a forum like this one is to take what I need and leave the rest.

[TheGoodLife]

We are daycare providers, we are gong to think as such. I have been in the parents' shoes before I opened my daycare, and even though I never did many things that would be "bad", my husband and I still say sometimes, "we should give <our former DCP> an apology, we did that!" At the time, I didn't have the experience as a provider to see things through their eyes. I was totally guilty of saying I'd probably be early for PU one day, if it was a teacher work day, and then show up at my regular time. I'd always have the plan to leave a bit early, then get ****ed into uninterrupted work time and stay until I had to leave to get there by closing. Never thought anything of it at the time... now I know that my provider may have had just my kids by that time and been dreaming of an early off day. Ooops
Anyways, just my experience- we are obviously going to see things from the providers eyes, and parents may not understand how it really affects us until/unless they've been in our shoes!

[Dilley Beans]

Honestly, yes, I think people are biased because they are providers. The experience that comes from seeing it for yourself is going to make you relate for the side you were on once, or many times. I don't comment too much on certain types of things because I have not opened my doors yet. But if you're asking for a more neutral perspective, I will offer mine, my personal bias included.

As a parent who is paying for daycare services at this time, some rants I read make me question why some people on here are care providers? Either the parents are going way overboard or the provider is, either way the truth is somewhere in the middle. If I had several of these situations back to back like some post, it would be hard to want to stay in this business. I know that people aren't posting most things as a one-time offense or freak accident. They are asking about the perpetual offender or the child with many problems, this is just the one that stumps them. I think most are completely valid, especially as this is a forum for care providers to seek advice from like minded/professional people.

Most complaints about parents seem more critical than of their children, but that makes sense, we know who holds more responsibility for their actions. The parents come with the job and are the reason we can be daycare providers though. They don't have the personality/ability to care full time for their children or other people's children, or else they would also be care providers right? It takes all types or we wouldn't have kids to watch.

It does seem like some people always have problems and if the situation is different and the families are different, the only common denominator is "you". That is not to say that there aren't your crazies.

[midaycare]

This is a nice place to come and see different perspectives for issues that come up. For a lot of us, it might be the only adult interaction we have! But I wouldn't want my parents hanging out on here and knowing who I was! I really like my job and I'm thankful to have my own business and to also have great daycare parents.

But I also need someplace to go for help when there is an issue and well... I have no coworkers. And occasionally I have some pearls of wisdom to share.

I think most of the posts are informational. Then again, I only read about a third of them, so ....

[kitykids3]

I wouldn't say I am completely biased, but I do think this forum had an effect on me and I was noticing it. I was noticing that I was becoming less 'nice' and more picky and ready to term for a little while so I did take a break for a bit this summer. Some of that may have been me dealing with my new diagnosis, but like I said, there were some times that I had thought to myself that months ago, I would not be contemplating terming a family. I do think some of the stuff we talk about is helpful for us, and for me, helps me define when I feel something is not 'right.' It's great to be able to read about you all going through same things as I do and therefore someone who understands running a daycare, which parents usually don't, which is also why they may see some of our posts negatively.

[Unregistered]

I wouldn't say I am completely biased, but I do think this forum had an effect on me and I was noticing it. I was noticing that I was becoming less 'nice' and more picky and ready to term for a little while so I did take a break for a bit this summer. Some of that may have been me dealing with my new diagnosis, but like I said, there were some times that I had thought to myself that months ago, I would not be contemplating terming a family. I do think some of the stuff we talk about is helpful for us, and for me, helps me define when I feel something is not 'right.' It's great to be able to read about you all going through same things as I do and therefore someone who understands running a daycare, which parents usually don't, which is also why they may see some of our posts negatively.

OP here, just on a different device. I agree with all of the comments, but especially this one. i am totally addicted to this forum and love all of the posts and advice, whether i am participating or just lurking. I have learned so much and have gotten more of a backbone because of it. I posted the question to see how everyone else sees things.

[cheerfuldom]

I would say that yes, we can be a bit of a cynical group (especially those providers that have been at it for years) BUT there are plenty of times when providers come to post and the other providers put them in check (hopefully gently) about what the provider should have done to prevent the issue in the first place. This isnt about bashing parents and acting like everything is their fault, this is about learning what we can do to prevent as many issues as possible and run professional, quality daycares.

[Blackcat31]

I would say that yes, we can be a bit of a cynical group (especially those providers that have been at it for years) BUT there are plenty of times when providers come to post and the other providers put them in check (hopefully gently) about what the provider should have done to prevent the issue in the first place. This isnt about bashing parents and acting like everything is their fault, this is about learning what we can do to prevent as many issues as possible and run professional, quality daycares.

This is so true!

It's hard to balance our need to be successful business-wise (financial) and professional with also needing to remain tolerant and accepting of the needs of our clients.

Lean to far to the left and you are mean/uncaring/cold and yet if you lean too far right, parents will walk all over you/take advantage of you in a heartbeat.

It's a tough thing to manage for some.

[Sugar Magnolia]

IMHO, not very well.

You will RARELY read a positive parent post here.

A lot of what is posted IS biased but at the same time, how can it not be?

We apply what WE know from our perspectives....whether that be from a woman's perspective, a provider's prospective, a business owner's perspective or a parent's prospective.

There have been several threads posted over the course of my membership here that have made me cringe. Not because of what's said or the subject matter always but a lot of times because of how it's said....kwim?

For me, I have personal rules about what I will and won't post on a public forum. I would never post something (even in private) that I wouldn't say in public. I stand behind the things I put in print and strive to be professional at all times.


With that being said though.....everyone views things differently and the BEST lesson I have taken from being part of a forum like this one is to take what I need and leave the rest.

All that.

Sure, we are biased, but it's not much different than other professions. If there is a debate about evolution, for example, the minister is going to have a religious bias, and the zoologist will have a scientific bias. Naturally, daycare providers are usually going to have a bias when it comes to topics like child safety, nutrition and child behavior. Sure, parents don't always see things our way, but since parent and provider both want what is best for the child, "bias" isn't always a problem.
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I just want to expand on what BC said about "cringe-worthy" threads. I do realize folks come here to vent and get help with problem children and parents, but there are times when I wish we wouldn't use words like "rude, entitled, annoying, stupid" to describe parents. Are they rude and annoying sometimes? Sure. I just think we could find better ways to title our threads. It's like what we learned in our training; the child isn't "bad", it's the behavior that is bad. I know folks like to call kids special snowflake too. I think I may have used it before also. But honestly, I think it's a phrase that could really put off a parent. I'd be upset if someone referred to my child that way. I know I get blasted sometimes for being too politically correct, disliking sweeping generalizations and being overly sensitive, but I am just that way.

Honesty, I wish more parents participated here. Seems like days and days go by with no posts in the parent section. I also wonder how the site can attract more parents? Does anyone else?

Last thought on "bias".....and I know y'all are sick of hearing about it from me.....but there does seem to be a bias against center-based care. Yes, I'm a small center and operate much like a large family daycare, and no, I am not a fan of large, corporate centers either. But I do think centers are harshly judged and not always spoken of fairly. Everyone says "Oh Sugar, we don't mean YOUR center", but it still hurts sometimes. I'm not trying to start a home vs center debate, just voicing my thoughts on bias I do sometimes see on the forum.