The 2 Year Old Threw A Punch At His Mother's Face And She Did Nothing!

[Laurel]

Well, now I think I have the full picture as to why I have so much trouble with my 2 year old daycare child that I have been telling you guys about. I have told you that he is absolutely horrible. He hits, forcefully scream/cries at everything you say to him, gives me dirty looks, is just plain horrible all day long. I also told you that I thought his behavior problems are from lack of sleep because his mother wants to spend time with him after work so the grandmother keeps him up until the mom gets home late from work then after mom spends time with him, they put him to bed about 2-3 hours after he needed to be asleep. Now, for the past few days, they have been telling me that they have put him to bed early like he needs and have let him sleep 11-12 hours each night.

Well..... Today, I saw another piece of the puzzle. Today is the mother's early day, so she picked him up from daycare. She was holding him on her hip and talking to me. The next thing I know, he balled up a FIST and threw a PUNCH at his mother's FACE!!! So, she simply moved her head over so he wouldn't contact her face and continued talking to me as if nothing happened!!!! I kept waiting for her to reprimand the child for trying to punch his mother in the face, and she never said a word to him, never reacted about it at all! She just let him completely get away with throwing a punch at her face! So, I finally said something about her not reacting to it. She said that she doesn't want to hit him, she wants to find another way to discipline him. I told her she doesn't have to hit him, but she should immediately acknowledge it and tell him not to punch her. She just got mad at me. Then she told me that the previous night at home, the grandmother told him to go inside the house and since he didn't want to stop playing and go in, he picked up his toy shovel and hit his grandmother with it!! I said, "Oh my God, what did she do?" She said the grandmother did nothing at all because grandmom does not like to reprimand him. Again

I now know that this child's behavior will never get better here because the adults in his life allow him to get away with hitting them, yelling at them forcing himself to cry and scream at them. Both mom and grand mom have told me he does all these things at home and have literally told me that neither of them say or do anything to him when he does these actions at home. So, I will always be fighting a losing battle with him and his family. I can not continue to watch him much longer. I firmly believe that he will only get worse and I can't allow his behavior in my daycare.

I couldn't stand to witness that. What I would have done is immediately stopped talking to the mom and have looked straight at the child with my 'intense no nonsense' stare. I would have said "You do NOT hit your mommy, ever. Do you hear me?" If mom tried to brush it off and didn't correct him I'd say to her "No child hits a parent in my house. It's not going to happen."

I think I'd rather at least 'try' to raise the parent's consciousness rather than not even try. What is the harm in trying? If parent gets upset then so be it. Let the chips fall where they may but they just might 'get it' and then it would be worth it to me. If not, at least it wouldn't be happening in front of me anymore.

Laurel

[permanentvacation]

Laurel,

I typically do correct a child for misbehaving when their parents are here. But this particular parent and I have been at differences for quite some time. So, I wanted to watch and learn how she would naturally react to his inappropriate behavior. I did tell her at that time how I believe she should have handled the situation. But by me allowing her to handle the situation herself, I was able to witness her parenting ways and discuss our different opinions of what we believe should have been done which allowed me to understand her and her child better.

The next time he misbehaves with her here, I will correct him and tell her that while they are in my home/daycare, even with her here, he must obey all of the rules of the daycare and must be corrected for the behavior at the time it occurs. I'm sure I will be the one correcting the child and maybe it will get them to just pick him up and leave quickly so he doesn't have the time to misbehave at pick up time.

[Laurel]

Laurel,

I typically do correct a child for misbehaving when their parents are here. But this particular parent and I have been at differences for quite some time. So, I wanted to watch and learn how she would naturally react to his inappropriate behavior. I did tell her at that time how I believe she should have handled the situation. But by me allowing her to handle the situation herself, I was able to witness her parenting ways and discuss our different opinions of what we believe should have been done which allowed me to understand her and her child better.

The next time he misbehaves with her here, I will correct him and tell her that while they are in my home/daycare, even with her here, he must obey all of the rules of the daycare and must be corrected for the behavior at the time it occurs. I'm sure I will be the one correcting the child and maybe it will get them to just pick him up and leave quickly so he doesn't have the time to misbehave at pick up time.

[Unregistered]

"Raised as a typical black child"????? Omg.What does that even mean?

[permanentvacation]

In my area, it is common for a black boy to be raised to be a proud black man and to be treated as a man rather than a boy. Which to me is fine, however, in my opinion, while he is a child, he should be treated as a child, and taught that he is to obey and respect adults, not that the adults are to obey him. It is more common for the adults to treat him as an equal or actually more so that he does what he wants and the adults obey him. He is also not to call a woman 'ma'am, or a man 'sir'. Also, even at age 2, he is not to be taught to sit on the toilet to pee, he is to be taught to stand up (even though he's too short to make it into the toilet) like a man.

The fact that he is a little black boy and might be raised as such never occurred to me until today. I guess because he is light skinned and his mother and grandmother are white and I have never seen his father. His father is not in his life, so I think it just hasn't occurred to me that he was being raised differently than I raise children. But I remembered today that a few times his mother said, ' It's the black in him.' and , 'It's a black thing.' when I have talked to her about things that have come up. So, today, I just realized that I think the problems we have been having have a good bit to do with the differences in parenting between our two races and cultures. I also believe it has to do with his lack of sleep as well.

Like I said, I am not trying to upset anyone here. I am not racist at all and this is not meant to sound racist. I have 1 mixed niece, 3 mixed nephews, and two of them have mixed children. So I am not trying to make a big issue about his race or my race. I am simply stating the typical differences between raising children in my area among this particular boy's family and my parenting techniques. The differences of parenting techniques and his lack of sleep are what I think has been causing the problems that I have had with him and his family.

[Bookworm]

In my area, it is common for a black boy to be raised to be a proud black man and to be treated as a man rather than a boy. Which to me is fine, however, in my opinion, while he is a child, he should be treated as a child, and taught that he is to obey and respect adults, not that the adults are to obey him. It is more common for the adults to treat him as an equal or actually more so that he does what he wants and the adults obey him. He is also not to call a woman 'ma'am, or a man 'sir'. Also, even at age 2, he is not to be taught to sit on the toilet to pee, he is to be taught to stand up (even though he's too short to make it into the toilet) like a man.

The fact that he is a little black boy and might be raised as such never occurred to me until today. I guess because he is light skinned and his mother and grandmother are white and I have never seen his father. His father is not in his life, so I think it just hasn't occurred to me that he was being raised differently than I raise children. But I remembered today that a few times his mother said, ' It's the black in him.' and , 'It's a black thing.' when I have talked to her about things that have come up. So, today, I just realized that I think the problems we have been having have a good bit to do with the differences in parenting between our two races and cultures. I also believe it has to do with his lack of sleep as well.

Like I said, I am not trying to upset anyone here. I am not racist at all and this is not meant to sound racist. I have 1 mixed niece, 3 mixed nephews, and two of them have mixed children. So I am not trying to make a big issue about his race or my race. I am simply stating the typical differences between raising children in my area among this particular boy's family and my parenting techniques. The differences of parenting techniques and his lack of sleep are what I think has been causing the problems that I have had with him and his family.

I don't think you're being racist. I know exactly what you are talking about being black and seeing my male cousins raised like this. However, mom is using this as an excuse to justify her lack of parenting. Do not let her deny her responsibility for his lack of discipline.

[permanentvacation]

I feel that how she disciplines and raises him at home is her business. Each race and culture has their way of raising children. But I do need her to understand the behavior that I can and can not allow here at daycare. I believe now that I understand the reasons for the child's behavior, I can communicate better with him, his mother, and his grandmother. Today actually was the best day I have had with him in months.

When his grandmother picked him up, instead of waiting for another incident at pick up time, I went ahead and told her that even when the family is here picking him up or dropping him off, he has to obey the rules of the daycare home, which includes not hitting anyone, obeying the adults, etc. I told her that if he behaves in a manner that is against the daycare rules, even with the family members here, I will have to correct him the way I would typically correct him during the day. She said that was fine and she understands that when they (the mom and grand mom) are here, it's still my house and daycare and that he has to follow my rules while inside of my home/daycare. Hopefully mom, grand mom, and I understand each other better now and everything can work out.