Am I Being Too Hard on DCG?

[midaycare]

For the past week dcg has thrown a terrible temper tantrum every time I try to a bib on her. She is 2, just turned. A full on temper tantrum. And then no one wants to wear a bib and everyone gets stains on their outfits.

Today I decided I had had enough and told dcg if she didn't put her bib on, she couldn't have lunch. I feel kind of terrible. And I'm also wondering if it's even legal to do that. We were having white chicken chili, and dcg is wearing a white shirt. I don't want her to starve (she chose not to eat), but I really need her to wear the bib, and I feel like I'm not approaching this the right way. I don't want food to be a reward/punishment. Help!!!

[TheGoodLife]

For the past week dcg has thrown a terrible temper tantrum every time I try to a bib on her. She is 2, just turned. A full on temper tantrum. And then no one wants to wear a bib and everyone gets stains on their outfits.

Today I decided I had had enough and told dcg if she didn't put her bib on, she couldn't have lunch. I feel kind of terrible. And I'm also wondering if it's even legal to do that. We were having white chicken chili, and dcg is wearing a white shirt. I don't want her to starve (she chose not to eat), but I really need her to wear the bib, and I feel like I'm not approaching this the right way. I don't want food to be a reward/punishment. Help!!!

I wouldn't withhold the food, but I'd tell her she would have to leave the table if she was throwing a fit. Then try again in a few mins after she cooled down.

[daycarediva]

I wouldn't have withheld the food. Can you give her an option "You can wear this bib or this one."

or maybe an oversized tshirt? That's what I use- works great.

[Play Care]

Eh, she doesn't want a bib she doesn't get a bib. If it was a nicer shirt I might see about changing it out for a not so nice one while eating.

This is one of those hills I'm not willing to die on. (not a health or safety issue)

And I can't withhold lunch because the child refuses to wear a bib.

[CraftyMom]

No withholding food a consequence.

Instead maybe give her the option " It's lunch time dcg, as soon as you have your bib on you may eat" Or something similar. Let her know she has the option to eat

Or maybe put on a tshirt over her clothes instead of a bib.

Personally, I would probably just take her shirt off

[Shell]

I'm not big on bibs, not for any age. I put them on, and if they come off, oh well. I would tell dcm that the child doesn't want a bib, and you can't force her to wear it, so she may need to pack extra clothes and expect her to get a little messy. My ds makes a huge mess everyday with lunch. I either do what crafty mom said, and take the shirt off completely, or I just change his shirt. Sure, it's more laundry, but I already do a thousand loads a week anyway :: Oh, and my state we can't withhold food.

[jenboo]

Once they take a bib off, I don't put it back on.
Not my problem if their shirt gets dirty. I tell my parents to only send their kids in clothes that they mind getting stained.

[midaycare]

No withholding food a consequence.

Instead maybe give her the option " It's lunch time dcg, as soon as you have your bib on you may eat" Or something similar. Let her know she has the option to eat

Or maybe put on a tshirt over her clothes instead of a bib.

Personally, I would probably just take her shirt off

That's what I said. Okay, anytime you put your bib on, you can eat. Then I asked her every 2 minutes for the rest of lunch.

I thought about taking her shirt off but it was white chicken chili and I didn't want it to fall on her skin if it was warm.

I like the oversized t-shirt idea, I may need to get some extra ones.

[Leigh]

I would just put the bib on and keep putting it on until it stays on. The bib isn't what is important, but following directions is. At 2, the child can understand that you are the one in charge.

[midaycare]

It's funny, I'm really relaxed about 99% of things. But the bib thing gets to me. I know my dcp's work hard, and we have a good relationship. I feel awful sending their kid home in stains all the time. But I do warn them ... Send in play clothes.

[Unregistered]

I don't ask. As they come to the table, I put a bib on each one. Fasten it and away we go. You can declare that you do not wish to wear it, but if you do so too loudly you are excused from the table to try again when you have settled down. I would not withhold food, but it may get delayed a bit until they get themselves settled, and understand I will not remove the bib until meal time is over.

[DaisyMamma]

For the past week dcg has thrown a terrible temper tantrum every time I try to a bib on her. She is 2, just turned. A full on temper tantrum. And then no one wants to wear a bib and everyone gets stains on their outfits.

Today I decided I had had enough and told dcg if she didn't put her bib on, she couldn't have lunch. I feel kind of terrible. And I'm also wondering if it's even legal to do that. We were having white chicken chili, and dcg is wearing a white shirt. I don't want her to starve (she chose not to eat), but I really need her to wear the bib, and I feel like I'm not approaching this the right way. I don't want food to be a reward/punishment. Help!!!

I might threaten it, but I wouldn't follow through all the way. Just don't give her the messy stuff. What does mom say? I mean, really, a white shirt on a 2 year old

[melilley]

I'm not big on bibs, not for any age. I put them on, and if they come off, oh well. I would tell dcm that the child doesn't want a bib, and you can't force her to wear it, so she may need to pack extra clothes and expect her to get a little messy. My ds makes a huge mess everyday with lunch. I either do what crafty mom said, and take the shirt off completely, or I just change his shirt. Sure, it's more laundry, but I already do a thousand loads a week anyway :: Oh, and my state we can't withhold food.

Same here!

[melilley]

But I do warn them ... Send in play clothes.

This is one of the things that I make sure to mention at interviews!

[JenNJ]

I think withholding food(or using food for reward or punishment) is one of the worst things a caregiver can do. I'm not saying that to make you feel bad, but it's a reality. The kids don't need to "earn" food here. Food is available for those who want it.

Though I won't give a child a special treat if they are misbehaving (like cupcake if a child was hitting, etc.). I don't make them do things to eat meals.

How would the daycare parents react to knowing you withhold lunch?