Honest Opinions Needed!

[MsLisa]

Alright, I got a creative roll and created my tear off, but i'm not 100% in love with it.
So give it to me straight ladies, what do I need to change?
{I feel its too wordy for a supermarket board...}

I'll be adding my mini business cards to the tear away bottom btw.

[Josiegirl]

I like it! Spelling for environment and activities is wrong though. But it looks bright and cheerful, I don't think it's too wordy. And I don't know why but when you mention physical fitness it sounds a bit odd, I'd use physical play or physical exercise. But that's just me.

[spinnymarie]

Personally, I'd get rid of the entire paragraph in the middle and just stick to bullet points

[renodeb]

I love it, it's adorable. Bright, cheery, grabs ones attention. I agree though about the physical fitness part but all in all looks great!

[MsLisa]

Personally, I'd get rid of the entire paragraph in the middle and just stick to bullet points

That's the part I keep staring at!
Could I get away with just the bulletins?
But if I remove it I leave a lot of white space....

Changes done: Fixed spelling And changed physical fitness to physical play.

Here's the JUST bulletin? Yay? Nah?

Thank you ladies! Keep it coming!
I feel like i've gone cross-eyed.::

[Josiegirl]

I like them both

[midaycare]

That's the part I keep staring at!
Could I get away with just the bulletins?
But if I remove it I leave a lot of white space....

Changes done: Fixed spelling And changed physical fitness to physical play.

Here's the JUST bulletin? Yay? Nah?

Thank you ladies! Keep it coming!
I feel like i've gone cross-eyed.::

Winner! I like it a lot. Great job!

[laloolee]

Looks great! On your bullet list, you might want to put your target age group first or last. And in the list maybe capitalize all words for consistency? Be sure to tear off one of your tear-offs to appear that there are already other interested candidates...

[Blackcat31]

Personally, I'd get rid of the entire paragraph in the middle and just stick to bullet points

I agree. I like the one with just the bullet points.

Easy to read while you are managing a crying toddler and a whiney Kindergartener and 4 bags of groceries.

[kendallina]

I really like it- so bright and cheerful and it looks like you show a fun personality through it. I do agree with the suggestions before, I would also list the ages first and maybe bold that it's before and after school care. But overall, it's great!

[spinnymarie]

I like it as just bullets - if you wanted to add some of your paragraph wording to the bullet points that would add more text, I'd just do one or two though:
-plenty of exercise
-creative play time
(I can't see the images so I'm just going from memory )

[MotherNature]

I like it either way..If you go w/ the longer one, in addition to the spelling errors mentioned, the last sentence should be importantly, not important.

[MsLisa]

I agree. I like the one with just the bullet points.

Easy to read while you are managing a crying toddler and a whiney Kindergartener and 4 bags of groceries.

EXACTLY!!!
The bulletin one is the winner.
I CAP-ed all the bulletin points so its easy to read & put the ages first, as suggested.

Now I have to figure out how to attach the mini business cards so they are easy to tear away.....(they come tomorrow!)


There is no other provider on that board and its just a mish-mash of business cards & hand written old ads. I'm sure to stand out. The next investment in a hoodie.

Thank you ladies once again on another one of my marketing endeavors!!!!
(I would be so lost without yous)

[itlw8]

I would like to see a more prominent before and after school care a parent walking by will not notice right away this is school age care. plus put your number on it. If all the tear strips are gone they need to be able to contact you

[MsLisa]

I would like to see a more prominent before and after school care a parent walking by will not notice right away this is school age care. plus put your number on it. If all the tear strips are gone they need to be able to contact you

I'm promoting my B&A care more now since its a better market then just my general daycare. Hopefully if I get enough balls going, my daycare side can pick up when school lets out. BUT yes, enlarge b&a care...CHECK!

I am actually afraid to put my number on it. Mostly for spam/creeper reasons. I don't even have my number on my business cards. I prefer email spam over phone spam. . Its a super market we frequent (and live 5 minutes from) so I can easily keep an eye on it.