Short-changing myself :(

[Josiegirl]

And I can't seem to stop. I'm striving to get 6 FT families this year, for consistent income and hours. So far, I have 3 FT dcks, then 2 more dcfs who will be sharing a slot, then the 5th one will be my current dcg who is going to preschool 4 mornings a week. She will still be paying me for a ft slot. My 6th dck will be going to preschool 5 mornings a week. So when dcm reread my contract, she said 'so it'll be 80 a week instead of ft 105, right?' Technically she's right as I charge 21 for a full day and 16 for 5 hrs or less. So I told her yes, that's true but then you won't have that ft slot anymore. She's a teacher and is great about keeping her dd home when school is out. But she did ask if, during vacations, she could bring her dd 1 whole day or if I wouldn't want her because of her half day schedule. I told her I'd let her know.

It's only a matter of 25 bucks but it's more the principle of the matter. They're a terrific family and going through a rough time with a very sick family member. See? I'm justifying everything already as to why I should do this.
Ugh, I hate my wishy-washy self. I want to be nice. But then I start to resent when I feel stepped on. Why can't I let little stuff like this go?

[KiddieCahoots]

Josie, your not wishy-washy, your multi dimensional. Able to look outside the box on a multitude of scales.

I do it too, can get confusing

I know you said it's the principal of the matter, and your right, business is business.

I bend for my favorites, and people I care to keep in my childcare. May not be right, but I do what I can for the ones I prefer to keep.

So how much does this family bring that is business vs. how much does this family bring that is pleasure?

This helps me decide, hope it helps you.

[spinnymarie]

then the 5th one will be my current dcg who is going to preschool 4 mornings a week. She will still be paying me for a ft slot.

Sounds like anyone using only afternoons has to pay for a full-time slot, the 16 hrs/wk refers part-time using only certain full days, not everyday half a day. There's no way you could fill a morning-only spot, so she has to pay full time. They will figure out a way to pay for it

[Josiegirl]

Kiddie, this family is super nice and I adore the little girl. She absolutely is a bright spot in the daycare. And I understand they've got budgets just like everyone else does. They've also been trying to have another child so the prospect of another fter is in the future.
I think these feelings are stemming from other times I've given in and then beat myself up for those, more so than this particular issue. Does that make any sense? She technically doesn't need me for hours outside of the half day slot and I did tell her that once she signed up for that slot instead, if a ft child came along, then I'd have to rethink that, offering her the ft slot first, but we'd cross that bridge when we came to it. Probably not the most professional way to handle this but it is what it is, never been the best at the professional side of this business.
Spinny, I understand what you're saying about not being able to fill a a.m. slot but that's really not her problem. And the difference between the 2 preschoolers is that one dcp is a teacher so doesn't have the same needs as a ft dcp. The ft dcp still needs me during all school breaks so pays the ft slot to keep that option. Does that make sense? Sometimes I know what I'm thinking but it comes out all wrong.
Thanks for the input!

[BigLittleHomeDaycare]

And I can't seem to stop. I'm striving to get 6 FT families this year, for consistent income and hours. So far, I have 3 FT dcks, then 2 more dcfs who will be sharing a slot, then the 5th one will be my current dcg who is going to preschool 4 mornings a week. She will still be paying me for a ft slot. My 6th dck will be going to preschool 5 mornings a week. So when dcm reread my contract, she said 'so it'll be 80 a week instead of ft 105, right?' Technically she's right as I charge 21 for a full day and 16 for 5 hrs or less. So I told her yes, that's true but then you won't have that ft slot anymore. She's a teacher and is great about keeping her dd home when school is out. But she did ask if, during vacations, she could bring her dd 1 whole day or if I wouldn't want her because of her half day schedule. I told her I'd let her know.

It's only a matter of 25 bucks but it's more the principle of the matter. They're a terrific family and going through a rough time with a very sick family member. See? I'm justifying everything already as to why I should do this.
Ugh, I hate my wishy-washy self. I want to be nice. But then I start to resent when I feel stepped on. Why can't I let little stuff like this go?

I do the same thing! I actually went to therapy to help with my constant short changing myself too! I found I'm a people pleaser and I try to fix people (has to do with being a child of alcoholics) anyway - I'm working on it. I can be assertive I really can, but I'm a horrible sales person. I want to help everyone save money and then I'm wiped out and broke.

I try to hold on to the bad feelings I have about it, then remember it so when I talk to a new family I remind myself that when I value myself first, I feel good and then I could be a good care giver. Its a work in progress.

But sounds like you have a great program and are concerned with finding solutions that can help everyone. So thats a wonderful quality to possess!

[spinnymarie]

Spinny, I understand what you're saying about not being able to fill a a.m. slot but that's really not her problem. And the difference between the 2 preschoolers is that one dcp is a teacher so doesn't have the same needs as a ft dcp. The ft dcp still needs me during all school breaks so pays the ft slot to keep that option. Does that make sense? Sometimes I know what I'm thinking but it comes out all wrong.
Thanks for the input!

It's her problem because you can't lose money by giving her a half-spot, so she should pay the full spot. If you only offer full-day spots, it's absolutely her problem if she wants the spot.

[KiddieCahoots]

Kiddie, this family is super nice and I adore the little girl. She absolutely is a bright spot in the daycare. And I understand they've got budgets just like everyone else does. They've also been trying to have another child so the prospect of another fter is in the future.
I think these feelings are stemming from other times I've given in and then beat myself up for those, more so than this particular issue. Does that make any sense? She technically doesn't need me for hours outside of the half day slot and I did tell her that once she signed up for that slot instead, if a ft child came along, then I'd have to rethink that, offering her the ft slot first, but we'd cross that bridge when we came to it. Probably not the most professional way to handle this but it is what it is, never been the best at the professional side of this business.
Spinny, I understand what you're saying about not being able to fill a a.m. slot but that's really not her problem. And the difference between the 2 preschoolers is that one dcp is a teacher so doesn't have the same needs as a ft dcp. The ft dcp still needs me during all school breaks so pays the ft slot to keep that option. Does that make sense? Sometimes I know what I'm thinking but it comes out all wrong.
Thanks for the input!

Totally get it!

Ok, how bout this?.... the first thing you mentioned is how you're striving to get 6 FT families.
Seeing she's already been paying the FT rate, it probably won't hurt her wallet too much to stay at that rate, she's used to making that payment.
Tell her you have started a list of people that are waiting for a FT slot. Then it's a win-win. You'll get to keep that slot at a FT rate, and she'll feel like she has a wanted slot, and be more apt to want to keep it. And then her using a full day here and there is all already settled.
Would that work?

[KiddieCahoots]

I do the same thing! I actually went to therapy to help with my constant short changing myself too! I found I'm a people pleaser and I try to fix people (has to do with being a child of alcoholics) anyway - I'm working on it. I can be assertive I really can, but I'm a horrible sales person. I want to help everyone save money and then I'm wiped out and broke.

I try to hold on to the bad feelings I have about it, then remember it so when I talk to a new family I remind myself that when I value myself first, I feel good and then I could be a good care giver. Its a work in progress.

But sounds like you have a great program and are concerned with finding solutions that can help everyone. So thats a wonderful quality to possess!

Not to get off topic, but.....

It's kinda interesting that a lot of us have been discussing our own personal family stuff, and here we are as the ultimate care givers.

[Josiegirl]

Kiddie, I think that's what I'm going to do, but first I have to get other calls. It's my own fault for even having half days offered in my policies. Another thought is I do have a 7 yo dcg that comes after school sometimes but not every day. That's a consistent pay because she's state paid so if I keep her that will make up for the $ lost from the prek dcg. And she loves playing mother hen so will enjoy being with the little ones and not complain cause she's bored.

[MOM OF 4]

Kiddie, this family is super nice and I adore the little girl. She absolutely is a bright spot in the daycare. And I understand they've got budgets just like everyone else does. They've also been trying to have another child so the prospect of another fter is in the future.
I think these feelings are stemming from other times I've given in and then beat myself up for those, more so than this particular issue. Does that make any sense? She technically doesn't need me for hours outside of the half day slot and I did tell her that once she signed up for that slot instead, if a ft child came along, then I'd have to rethink that, offering her the ft slot first, but we'd cross that bridge when we came to it. Probably not the most professional way to handle this but it is what it is, never been the best at the professional side of this business.
Spinny, I understand what you're saying about not being able to fill a a.m. slot but that's really not her problem. And the difference between the 2 preschoolers is that one dcp is a teacher so doesn't have the same needs as a ft dcp. The ft dcp still needs me during all school breaks so pays the ft slot to keep that option. Does that make sense? Sometimes I know what I'm thinking but it comes out all wrong.
Thanks for the input!

If they're having budget issues to the point they're questioning your rates, FT v PT, etc, then they should NOT have another child right now! What then, will they expect special because they ( if they already cannot afford your rates based on the rules you already had in place) won't be able to afford for 2 kiddos? What if she gets pregnant, and decides to go her own way and be a SAHM? Or she has complications and can't work at all during the pregnancy? In the end YOU have to do what's best for YOU because each parent will do the same: Whatever is best for them.