Am I doing the right thing?

[deliberateliterate]

I have DCB who is just over 2.5, and is 99% non-verbal. He "says" catch phrases from TV ("ahoy matey", and "I'm a map", etc) but it's more like he takes a phrase and condenses it into one long jumbled word, if that makes any sense. He says me me, when he wants to do something, and other than that uses pointing and uh uh uh uh as his main mode of communication when he wants something.

I've mentioned it to mom, but she either isn't concerned, or doesn't want to share her concerns with me, and I don't want to push.

I'm concerned because he is having more and more meltdowns when he isn't getting what he wants. A lot of it is normal 2.5 yre old behavior, but I believe a lot of it is because he can't communicate with me.

So I've stopped giving him what he points t, and instead I've been asking him to use his words. He can repeat wawa for water, but can't or won't say it on his own. If he wants on a swing, he'll say hell for help if prompted, but won't ask. I " tested him today, and didn't acknowledge his pointing and uhuhuh when he was trying to get on the swings, and instead of saying help (which I got him to say shortly before), he cried for a bit then moved on.

Since really, there's only so much I can do, should I continue to try to get him to say things before he gets them, as it usually end in him getting frustrated? Should I make both of our lives easier, and anticipate what he is asking for? I don't want to do the wrong thing here, and frankly I'm frustrated that he isn't getting the help that he might need.

[melilley]

I have almost the same child here. My dcb will be 3 in Sept. and can only say a handful of words. Before that, everything was "uh owww" over and over. Mom says she has called to get him evaluated, but then I never hear anything about it and she's always like "he's talking more now" so I don't know what came about her calling.

I suggested he get evaluated by Early On before she called. It's a free service until they're 3. She asked me what I thought and I told her please don't take offense, but he should be evaluated and that they can help dcb, mom, and myself learn how to help him. She said she always welcomes my suggestions. I felt awkward saying something, but I had to. Now it's in her hands, I did what I could.

I just keep repeating words, saying syllables over and over, pronouncing letter sounds over and over, things like that. My dcb really tries, but he can't seem to get how to use his tongue to form letter sounds. I would never deny him anything because he can't say it, but I do make him try first.

[spinnymarie]

I would never deny him anything because he can't say it, but I do make him try first.

ITA with this

[NeedaVaca]

I have almost the same child here. My dcb will be 3 in Sept. and can only say a handful of words. Before that, everything was "uh owww" over and over. Mom says she has called to get him evaluated, but then I never hear anything about it and she's always like "he's talking more now" so I don't know what came about her calling.

I suggested he get evaluated by Early On before she called. It's a free service until they're 3. She asked me what I thought and I told her please don't take offense, but he should be evaluated and that they can help dcb, mom, and myself learn how to help him. She said she always welcomes my suggestions. I felt awkward saying something, but I had to. Now it's in her hands, I did what I could.

I just keep repeating words, saying syllables over and over, pronouncing letter sounds over and over, things like that. My dcb really tries, but he can't seem to get how to use his tongue to form letter sounds. I would never deny him anything because he can't say it, but I do make him try first.

Without having more details from you, your DCB reminds me of my DS. He has been diagnosed with Apraxia and I can't stress enough the importance of early intervention! This goes to the OP too, when in doubt check it out!

[NightOwl]

But don't anticipate his needs in order to avoid tantrums. That encourages his lack of language. Why talk when whatever he would've asked for had already been done/given? It's counterproductive. He NEEEEDS early intervention services.

[mamamanda]

If he can mimic phrases from t.v. he should be able to attempt a word for what he wants. I wouldn't worry about him saying things correctly, but he should at least try to verbalize them. You will have to consistently prompt him to say what he wants for a while before it becomes natural for him. When he grunts for something or points to it I would ask him to "say drink," or whatever it is he wants. It's frustrating when we as providers see their needs so clearly and the parents don't want to act on it. It's sad for the kiddos and makes our jobs harder too.

[deliberateliterate]

You will have to consistently prompt him to say what he wants for a while before it becomes natural for him. When he grunts for something or points to it I would ask him to "say drink," or whatever it is he wants.

But don't anticipate his needs in order to avoid tantrums. That encourages his lack of language. Why talk when whatever he would've asked for had already been done/given? It's counterproductive. He NEEEEDS early intervention services.

I would never deny him anything because he can't say it, but I do make him try first.

Thank you! I knew you guys would have some great answers. I feel so ill equipped to deal with stuff like this. I deserve the title babysitter I think

[Sunchimes]

You can't be expected to know something you've never had to deal with before, so I give back your title of Daycare Provider.

I have 2 non-verbal boys in my daycare. One is 21 months old, he had a stroke at birth and his little brain has been so busy working on the physical aspect that he has developed very little language. The other one is 2 1/2 and has several cognitive issues. We have some strategies for him, but as I write this, I'm thinking they don't apply to your situation.

The 21 month old has pretty much reached all of his physical milestones happyface and his brain has turned to language. A month ago, if you stretched your imagination, you might say that he had 3 or 4 words. There has been a sudden rush of speech lately, and he probably has 6 clear words and 2 or 3 sort-of words. From the beginning, with both boys, their speech therapist has told me to honor their sounds as words whenever possible. So, if he is playing with a ball and says "oohhwaheee", it's probably just a sound and for the older child, we repeat it to him. For the younger, we would just ignore it, he's just vocalizing. However, if he is playing with a ball and says "ahbah", we honor it as the word and cheerfully repeat it back to him.

I name everything for 21 mo old. Everything. I never shut up. I don't ask him to repeat it, I just give him the words. He may not be ready for the word yet, but when he is, it's familiar to him. Actually, that's my teaching style for all kids. I never say ball to a baby, but I say red ball or three blocks. Giving them words to store until they are ready for them. Anyway, it seems to be working because he has gained 3 words just this week-2 of them were 2 syllable words!! The therapist visited today and was thrilled at our progress. His behavior has improved and his rages have gone from every 15 minutes to 2 or 3 a day. He's almost 2, so I'd call that pretty normal.

One of the things I did was baby sign language. I actually teach all of my dcks sign language, mostly for fun, but they love it. I always--always--say the word with the sign. The only time I use a sign without a word is "Stop". That is a therapeutic technique though and again, probably won't apply to your child.

Dcb signed before he had any words-not much, mostly "milk". Then, he picked up several more and uses them correctly. Then he learned manipulation. Do you have any idea how hard it is to resist a beautiful brown eyed baby when he points those eyes at you and signs please? He quickly figured out that the answer is "almost impossible", the little stinker. ::
In a major breakthrough, on Wednesday, he said "eat". Just before pick up, he was the only chid here, and he came to me and said and signed "eat". Yes, he got a second snack.

So, repeat, honor attempts, and sign to lower the frustration.

I'll be glad to answer any questions. I probably didn't explain this very well.