Banishing Playdates

[Laurel]

This. There are some crazy people out there. Things have changed since I was a kid, and that wasn't all THAT long ago. I'm only in my 30's.

There are crazy people but crime is down overall and in some categories dramatically down even though the population keeps increasing. I looked it up a while back but here is a breakdown from the FBI site for up to 2012.

http://www.fbi.gov/about-us/cjis/ucr/crime-in-the-u.s/2012/crime-in-the-u.s.-2012/tables/1tabledatadecoverviewpdf/table_1_crime_in_the_united_states_by_volume_and_rate_per_100000_inhabitants_1993-2012.xls

Did you read some of the comments after the article? I agree with what looks like the majority that we now have 24 hour news stations and it scares us unnecessarily. Also we now teach children stranger danger. We even have websites to tell us exactly who the child predators are in our neighborhood. So it seems we are even more cautious nowadays. I also feel uneasy but it is probably unfounded fear. Doesn't make it any easier but crime is down.

Laurel

[Play Care]

Read the article and think it's yet another "remember when" type thing...

I will say my feelings have *nothing* to do with "stranger danger" or crime.

I had the "typical" 70/80's childhood - and much like the author describes. I *know* what trouble we got in to. Frankly there are times I'm surprised we made it out alive I have maintained that I wish my parents would have signed us up for more camps, lessons, etc. rather than letting us roam, bored and unsupervised, throughout the town. I'm not saying parents need to be on top of kids at. all. times. But some basic supervision, setting up appropriate play opportunities, etc. won't kill them

That said, I believe the term "play date" should only be used for kids preschool aged and younger. The term itself makes me cringe.

[MBF]

thank you to everyone who has a problem with the term "playdate" pintrest even has sites about mother/son dates and father /daughter dates. I date my husband, not my kids. I agree that at the preschool age, playtimes are arranged by parents, and if you can trade off, that's great! now that my daughter is 10, the kids ask parents what time works, and then arrange their own get togethers

[Jack Sprat]

I think "playdates" are stupid.

We don't do playdates. Our 5 yr old enjoys the time when she is the only kid here and doesn't want other kids over. Our older two ride their bikes to friends houses to see if they can play or come over.

[CedarCreek]

Meh, I can see both sides.

I'm not understanding why its garbage exactly or why its ruining kids. If you don't like it, don't do it.

I can understand wanting to be there with your children to supervise. I can also understand trusting them enough to let them go play. But the days of letting them ride their bikes or walk to a friends are long gone for me.

I let my son walk down to our neighbors house a a couple of years ago pretty frequently. He was his only friend in our neighborhood. He would call me as soon as he got there and he knew what time to be home. One day, as he was walking home with the said friend, another little boy was riding his bike out in the street. He began picking on my son and he hit him across the face with a bike helmet, cutting my sons face open just below his eye.

Needless to say, I never allowed him to go to a friends house without one of us again.

[Sugar Magnolia]

Lets say its 1976 in rural .Vermont. Closest playmate lives 5 miles away.

Me: "Mom, I want to have a play date"

Mom: "Fine. Today's date is July 20. Go play. Be home for dinner."

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

From my understanding, it is more when two moms notice their children have a friendship, say at daycare or preschool, and the moms schedule a play date together. Kids play, mom's supervise and talk. Or picture the bored child whining, "there's nothing to do mom, can you schedule me a play date?"

No more spontaneity. No more, running next door to ask "Can Joey play right now?" It's pre-planned, parent initiated, super supervised fun.

Every child here has those it seems. In fact, it got REALLY out of hand with them discussing it here (hurt feelings were happening, giant fits when they were being told it wasn't happening today, etc.) so I banned kids and parents from discussing playing at each other's houses here. Best thing I ever did.

Now, the moms send me photos of the kids playing together on my days off ??????????????????????

[TheGoodLife]

This. There are some crazy people out there. Things have changed since I was a kid, and that wasn't all THAT long ago. I'm only in my 30's.

My oldest is only 4, but I'm already worrying about when I have to start letting her just "go play" with friends away from me Glad I'm not the only one! There's just so much more to worry about since I was young (and only in my young 30s as well!)

[AmyKidsCo]

I think "playdates" are stupid.

Ditto.

I'm more of a "Go outside and play but stay in the yard" kind of mom.

[Chellieleanne]

Oh man. My oldest is only 3 but even in my complex there is a boy about 6 months older than him who rides bikes around with some of the older kids with no supervision I love our complex and it is actually really safe but no way would my kid be with out supervision. That being said I was 10 or so before my parents would let me cross the street while riding my bike and I could only go a few blocks in two directions since the block we were on had two busy streets.

I want my kids to have freedom to just say "I'm going to go play" but the same time I want to know my neighborhood and be familiar and have other kids around the age of my kids. If we could stay where we are now(only renting a two bedroom and we need more room soon) I wouldn't mind at all but I doubt we will get so lucky when we buy a house unless it is in this same area.

Times have changed but I still don't want my kids to be overly scheduled and have to pencil in play dates. That defeats being a kid!