Help Me Better Understand How to Use TO

[MOM OF 4]

TO starts AFTER screaming stops and the child is quiet. It's the ONLY way it actually works and the kid 'gets' it.

I use various techniques and they all work at different times. Sometimes, it's a spanking, sometiems, it's extra chores, sometimes "off to your room" (which is time out, essentially), sometimes, it's not allowing for a privilege, sometimes, it's not allowing for ANY privileges at all; it all depends on the crime (talking back? Lying? taking something? rudeness? fighting/hitting?

Or my fave my dd's "UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" long and drawn out way of telling me to go " " off. " is how I see it. It's a disrespectful action and I'll smack her for that.

I also am BIG on natural consequences...that seems to work (example: kid wanted to play with crane machine. I explained "nope, you'll lose your quarters" He thought he was very smart and said he's good and won't lose them. I said "Ok, then" he played the game, LOST his quarters and cried. He wanted ME to furnish 2 more quarters. Sorry bud, you were warned and NO I did NOT give him any more quarters...He got the idea fairly quickly, that he lost his money and got NOTHING in return...Lesson learned for him, I am pretty sure.

[Blackcat31]

Do you think a 12 month old is too young for separation during major temper tantrums? Recently I've been dealing with this and have been putting him in his play yard, but that is in a room off the main play room where he can't see me. (It's a nice room, just not the same room where I'm in with dcb) Wondering if I should move the play yard (his TO spot) into the main room where he can see me while he throws his fit.

I think separation works wonderful for a child that age.

I think it is a GOOD thing he can't see you.

My normal routine for a tantruming 12 month old would be to make sure I am out of their line of vision/sight (I think that IS separation for that age).

I would also put them anywhere you are not (providing it is safe) when having a fit and remove them or allow them to re-join immediately afterwards. I would try NOT to use the PNP they sleep in though for napping as you don't want them to think they are being punished every time they are put down for a nap...kwim?

Alot of times, separation can be as simple as sitting them facing away from you/the group with a firm no. It's YOUR eye contact and body language that is going to tell them the most...kwim? They will pick up on those things easily as kids that age learn the most from the adult/caregiver present via body language, facial expressions and eye contact.

[Blackcat31]

TO starts AFTER screaming stops and the child is quiet. It's the ONLY way it actually works and the kid 'gets' it.

I use various techniques and they all work at different times. Sometimes, it's a spanking, sometiems, it's extra chores, sometimes "off to your room" (which is time out, essentially), sometimes, it's not allowing for a privilege, sometimes, it's not allowing for ANY privileges at all; it all depends on the crime (talking back? Lying? taking something? rudeness? fighting/hitting?

Or my fave my dd's "UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" long and drawn out way of telling me to go " " off. " is how I see it. It's a disrespectful action and I'll smack her for that.

I also am BIG on natural consequences...that seems to work (example: kid wanted to play with crane machine. I explained "nope, you'll lose your quarters" He thought he was very smart and said he's good and won't lose them. I said "Ok, then" he played the game, LOST his quarters and cried. He wanted ME to furnish 2 more quarters. Sorry bud, you were warned and NO I did NOT give him any more quarters...He got the idea fairly quickly, that he lost his money and got NOTHING in return...Lesson learned for him, I am pretty sure.

I think it's important that we point out that you (OP) are referring to YOUR OWN children and not daycare kids.

I do NOT support spanking daycare children.

[MOM OF 4]

I think it's important that we point out that you (OP) are referring to YOUR OWN children and not daycare kids.

I do NOT support spanking daycare children.

LOL Yes, my own. DCK's usually it was redirection. Although, Ihad a couple parents tell me to beat their kids...:: NEVER did it though and just pointed out my policy against corporal punishment

[Blackcat31]

LOL Yes, my own. DCK's usually it was redirection. Although, Ihad a couple parents tell me to beat their kids...:: NEVER did it though and just pointed out my policy against corporal punishment

I thought so but just wanted to make sure...

I've had parents try and give me written permission to spank their children too.

I declined too.