Daycarediva

[Angelsj]

I had one, also 7. He would walk around taking away what his little brothers and sister were playing with, just to hide it. Move near another child and hip check them. Reach out to sweep their feet out from under them. Pull them off the slide, monkey bars or swings. His mouth was horrid and he called the other kids all sorts of curse names, esp the youngest, who was mixed race (the older four were not.)
The other kids acted like they had no choice but to deal with it. They were not even phased by the behavior. When he stepped on the baby's hands and laughed about it, I was done.
He was in time out constantly, but on that day, he told me he wasn't going to time out. I took him by the arm to lead him there. He didn't fight me physically, but he did tell me, "If you make me go to time out, I am going to tell my mom you squeezed my neck." What??

I wrote up a term letter and called my licensor. They never came back. They do still live around here, and it has not gone well for that child. He has been kicked out of schools, and now lives with his father. It will be interesting to see what happens as he becomes a teen.

[Unregistered]

I logged out because all of my dcp know this story.

Many years ago, I taught 5th grade here. I had kids that I would have taken bets on them ending up in jail, and of course, those that I would never believe it could happen.

Fifteen years later, I ended up with a business that involved working inside the county jail several times a week. I did that for 17 years. The first time one of my former students showed up, I was devastated. This was one of my favorite kids. Smart, funny, hard working, well-liked. He was one of our "recycled" inmates. This was our word for the ones that kept coming back over and over. When I left, he was on the county's 10 most wanted list. When I thought about it, I remembered that in the year he was in my class, I never met his mother and she never responded to a single one of my notes home. I never had any red flags, he was always clean, neat, and fed, she just wasn't involved for whatever reason. I sometimes feel guilty for not looking more closely.

Another child was sweet. He had lots and lots of trouble in school, (scholastically, not behaviorally), so I knew his mom quite well. He ended up as a sex offender.

The funny part is that the two boys that I would have bet on finishing high school behind bars are now pillars of the community. Strong marriages, good kids, etc. One of them had nothing going for him at home. He raised himself as far as I can tell.

I taught in this school for 2 years and had about 40 kids in those 2 classes. Of those 40 (or less) kids, at least 5 ended up in jail along with at least 4 younger siblings (kids that I knew).

I'd be interested in knowing about pre-school kids, because I sure couldn't have seen it in 5th graders. Of course, this was in the late 1980s. Kids were different then-the bad ones weren't as bad as the bad ones now.

[NightOwl]

I may have one for you nannyde, if you'd like to hear the story?

[KiddieCahoots]

That would be a wicked interesting read!

It'd also be heart breaking to hear about the victims.... and worse, hear the criminals story, and how many times that individual acted out....as a cry for help.
Statics being that if the child is not set on the path of recovery before adolescence, they usually end up falling through the cracks.

Put me in for preorder on the book!

[nannyde]

I may have one for you nannyde, if you'd like to hear the story?

Bring it on sistah!

[nannyde]

I seriously don't know how these kids that are violent with their mother CAN turn out well. I can't see how the kiddie brain can grow up with that option and come out normal.

I participate and read alot of forums and it's a rare day that goes by without somebody posting about a kid like that. Now, the newbies believe it is normal. When they tell wicked behavior stories you have to ask if the kid is slapping and kicking their mother at arrivals and departures.

What I really can't believe is how the moms aren't phased by it. Granted there is the embarrassment factor but I can't see that as a really big deal after the twentieth time.

[NightOwl]

Ok, might turn out long.
Zach and his sister Whitney, were in my center from the ages of two and four. Mom was an addict in and out of their lives, they were being raised by grandparents. Whitney had fetal alcohol syndrome, so it's almost certain that mom did some form of substance abuse with Zach too.
Zach was violent from day one. Would act many years older than he actually was, use VERY inappropriate language, he was so defiant that he would be willing to hurt himself or put himself in harm's way for the sake of spite. We'd tell him, don't jump out of the swing, you're going to hurt your ankle, then he would go flying out of the swing. He'd get up obviously in pain, but would shake it off like he wasn't so that he could say we were wrong. He had some serious mental issues, he definitely did not have the mindset of a 4 year old.
His grandparents also told us of the times he had been directly cruel to small animals and to his sister.
The owners of this center refused to term a child without MAJOR, in your face, he's going to kill somebody, type reasons. So Zach stayed with us thru his 9th year, I think. By then of course, we only had him after school. Even at that age, he would throw tantrums when he was frustrated, lash out at those who contradicted him, refused to do homework, had no respect for the caregivers, cussed like a sailor. He spent more time in the office than in his room.

The straw that broke the camel's back was when he threw a fist sized rock at the director's head. I guess that was finally enough. He had to be physically removed from the playground, kicking and screaming, literally dragged down the hallway because he wouldn't walk. On the way to the office, he punched a picture on the wall, it fell and glass shattered everywhere. He was finally kicked out that day.

Fast forward 4 years, I was at the juvenile detention center to sign some paperwork about a child who had beat up my son and I had pressed charges. As I was waiting in the lobby, the lock up door opened and an officer came out with Zach, dressed in an orange jump suit and SHACKLED at his hands and feet.

I don't know why he was in there, I wish I did. I just know that my heart broke right then and there. He was only 13 at that time.

Fast forward another 3 years. I saw on the local news where there was a manhunt for him. He was found within a day's time and was arrested for escaping a maximum security prison. He was only 16 then and had done something bad enough to warrant maximum security. And still managed to escape. That was a couple of years ago. I'm assuming he's still in prison.

[NightOwl]

http://www.waff.com/story/20160798/2-dangerous-mt-meigs-escapees-recaptured-third-still-sought

[nannyde]

Oh my goodness! Wow Wednesday!

[NightOwl]

Right?! They had US Marshals after them. That's who made the arrest. That's not Zach in the picture, it's another escapee that was with him. I had forgot about the guard losing teeth and a thumb...

[mountainside13]

Nannyde- have you see this? http://abcnews.go.com/Health/scienti...ry?id=21029246

[Laurel]

Nannyde- have you see this? http://abcnews.go.com/Health/scienti...ry?id=21029246

That is fascinating. I also watched the videos about inside of the mind of a serial killer.

It makes you wonder if a person who is arrested for extreme violence or arrested for violence more than once should have a PET scan.

Maybe make sure the iffy daycare kids get a lot of Omega 3's at our houses?

Wow, thanks for sharing this. It really makes one think.

Laurel

[mountainside13]

That is fascinating. I also watched the videos about inside of the mind of a serial killer.

It makes you wonder if a person who is arrested for extreme violence or arrested for violence more than once should have a PET scan.

Maybe make sure the iffy daycare kids get a lot of Omega 3's at our houses?

Wow, thanks for sharing this. It really makes one think.

Laurel

It does! I found the article on FB and remembered this thread :-)

[nannyde]

It does! I found the article on FB and remembered this thread :-)

It was facinating.

I think about this and the research Dr Jean Twenge does on entitlement and this generation and wonder how this brain grows in this current culture.

[Laurel]

It does! I found the article on FB and remembered this thread :-)

That guy in the white outfit behind the glass was just totally creeping me out. He'd just as soon kill me as look at me and do it quite violently like he said smashing that guy's head into the concrete. Not only wouldn't he have remorse but seemed kind of happy about it. Gives me the willys.

Laurel