Control Play

[KidGrind]

Small vent: I am certified in Baby Signs. I teach all the infants Baby Signs. Today for the second time, a parent tells me I could be a big help if I assisted her child with baby signs. They are focusing on a particular sign at home.

1. She instructs me to teach him (incorrectly) the sign.

2. I’ve already been teaching him. Told her so the first time this came up. I mentioned it in the interview too.

I show her the correct way to baby sign. So in her need to assert control. She again shows me the way she wants me to sign it with looks like the sign for applause. And she then requests my wagon be switched to the other side of doorway.

:roll eyes:

I get it is her child. Great baby by the way, I love him. It is my business. I have my way of doing things (the way I was trained by a Baby Signs’ instructor, video and book). I refuse to instruct any child incorrectly. I also don’t want to debate with her.

[MissAnn]

Ugh. That's all I have to say. I would be irritated.

[preschoolteacher]

Personally, I wouldn't care if she wanted to teach her own version of the sign. "correct" and "incorrect" doesn't mean much to me in terms of baby sign because the point is to help baby communicate, not sign with correct "grammar." If the baby was learning ASL because he /she or family members were hard of hearing or deaf, I'd feel differently.

I can see why mom wants consistency between what she's been doing at home and what goes on at daycare.

For me, it would be the same as respecting that one family says "go pee" and another family says "go tinkle" and trying to use those same phrases to provide consistency to a child while potty training.

[SilverSabre25]

Personally, I wouldn't care if she wanted to teach her own version of the sign. "correct" and "incorrect" doesn't mean much to me in terms of baby sign because the point is to help baby communicate, not sign with correct "grammar." If the baby was learning ASL because he /she or family members were hard of hearing or deaf, I'd feel differently.

I can see why mom wants consistency between what she's been doing at home and what goes on at daycare.

For me, it would be the same as respecting that one family says "go pee" and another family says "go tinkle" and trying to use those same phrases to provide consistency to a child while potty training.

See....I use certain terms in my house and do NOT cater to individual families terms. i refuse to use cutesy terms for ANYTHING and I fall in the middle of the road on the "clinical terms" issue--"pass urine" sounds just as stupid to me as "weewee" or "tinkle" does.

So it's the same for me with the signs. If mom wants to do it her way at home that's fine but I do it MY way at MY house.

[TwinKristi]

Yeah that's pretty much like a parent asking you to say goggy instead of doggy since that's what someone at home says. I'm not going to purposely teach a child the wrong way to say/do something to please parents.
I must ask, what word is it that she's trying to teach incorrectly? I have an app on my iPhone that plays a video of the proper way to do it but if a baby does anything similar it's ok. Like for water it's the first 3 fingers in a W and touching their mouth with the pointer finger but as long as they get remotely close, like one finger or the 3 close fingers, it's good enough.

[KidGrind]

Personally, I wouldn't care if she wanted to teach her own version of the sign. "correct" and "incorrect" doesn't mean much to me in terms of baby sign because the point is to help baby communicate, not sign with correct "grammar." If the baby was learning ASL because he /she or family members were hard of hearing or deaf, I'd feel differently.

I can see why mom wants consistency between what she's been doing at home and what goes on at daycare.

For me, it would be the same as respecting that one family says "go pee" and another family says "go tinkle" and trying to use those same phrases to provide consistency to a child while potty training.

I respect your stance & opinion on the issue.

I am not willing as a certified Baby Signs Provider to teach any baby incorrectly. I understand each child has their variation of the sign.

If the DCM’s goal was actually consistency for the child she would respect how I do it. I am with her child most of his waking hours. I also have another infant in care who uses baby signs to communicate. I am not a nanny. I am a provider who runs a program.

What she’s started a month ago, has been going on in my home since last year. As a provider I’ve been using Baby Signs for 3 years.

[MissAnn]

I respect your stand & opinion on the issue.

I am not willing as a certified Baby Signs Provider to teach any baby incorrectly. I understand each child has their variation of the sign.

If the DCM’s goal was actually consistency for the child she would respect how I do it. I am with her child most of his waking hours. I also have another infant in care who uses baby signs to communicate. I am not a nanny. I am a provider who runs a program.

What she’s started a month ago, has been going on in my home since last year. As a provider I’ve been using Baby Signs for 3 years.

I understand why it's a big deal on your part. You are the professional when it comes to baby signs. Not sure why it's such a big deal for her part.

If you sign incorrectly as mom wants, the other kids will pick up incorrect habits. Might as well teach 2+2=5.

[KidGrind]

I understand why it's a big deal on your part. You are the professional when it comes to baby signs. Not sure why it's such a big deal for her part.

If you sign incorrectly as mom wants, the other kids will pick up incorrect habits. Might as well teach 2+2=5.

CONTROL. It always creeps up with her. If I don’t catch it immediately, seconds later she goes passive aggressive. I have a like/on my last nerve relationship with her.

I also would like to correct I have 2 others using Baby Signs. The sign in question is done the same way for both of them. The other child comes on the days my full-timer doesn’t.

[Leigh]

I think you need to firmly tell Mom that you can not accommodate her request, as it would be unfair to the other children who are learning the correct signs (and would certainly pick up on the wrong sign, as well). Let her know that the other parents also want their child to sign, and that since there are multiple children learning, you simply MUST teach the correct way.

[SilverSabre25]

another option would be the ol' "smile and nod" approach. "Sure dcm, I'll see what I can do." and then just do it your way anyway...

[KidGrind]

another option would be the ol' "smile and nod" approach. "Sure dcm, I'll see what I can do." and then just do it your way anyway...

I need to work on the smile and nod. I have a blank stare & then smirk reflex.

Leigh you are right. I just don’t feel like arguing/debating/reasoning with her. I have a strong impression (thanks to our last several episodes) she has a need to be right.

[Little Buttons]

I am not willing as a certified Baby Signs Provider to teach any baby incorrectly.

I think this is what you need to tell DCM. If she is all about control and you know you just need to nip it in the bud and fast...tell her that, ignore the passive aggressive behavior and move on

[KidGrind]

DING DONG

I open my door with a big, “Good morning!”

DCM flustered and red, “I had to move the wagon it’s in my way.”

My reply, “You can always knock the door.” As I said it I was smile thinking of all you ladies and gents.

Thank you for reading, sharing and just being here! You all make my days brighter and I learn a lot from many of you.

[craftymissbeth]

What's up with the wagon? I don't understand what her issue with this wagon is. Is it sitting next to your front door or something? In front of the door bell? So she moved your wagon so she could ring the door bell? :confused:

I'd just move it right back. And next time she moves it I'd move it back right in front of her. I'm assuming it's not a hazard in any way... no one can trip on it or anything.

[KidGrind]

What's up with the wagon? I don't understand what her issue with this wagon is. Is it sitting next to your front door or something? In front of the door bell? So she moved your wagon so she could ring the door bell? :confused:

I'd just move it right back. And next time she moves it I'd move it back right in front of her. I'm assuming it's not a hazard in any way... no one can trip on it or anything.

I was inspected yesterday. It is not an issue or hazard.