Helping New Child Adjust

[craftymissbeth]

I have a new 15 mo dcb who started last Thursday. He is here Thursday/Friday then Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday... so he's only here 2-3 days per week. Today is day three and there has been no improvement as far as adjustment goes. He cries the entire time he's here, does not eat or drink, and will not sleep. He clings to me for dear life and pulls my shirt, pinches me, and claws his way onto me if I won't hold him. He's a big boy, so it hurts. I have a strong feeling that he is attachment parenting (I will be asking today at pick up) just because of some things dcm and DCD have mentioned. They're going back to cosleeping because he won't stay in his toddler bed, for example.

Last week he was climbing out of his PNP onto his head... but he won't stay on a mat. He's a big boy so I don't have access to a sleep sack his size.

I really need help with the crying and the climbing out of the PNP. I understand he's feeling sad, scared, whatever it is, but I feel like the more I cuddle him or let him sit with me the more it feeds into the crying when I have to put him down. I know to give him time, but I would love suggestions on hurrying this up

Please help!

[craftymissbeth]

Also, he's crying, but there are never any tears... and he stops the second I pick him up.

[Leigh]

I recently had one the same age who was the same way. After a week of trying to help him adjust, I started putting him in the cry corner and telling him that he can come out when he is done crying. I told him over and over that it is not okay to cry and upset the other kids and that he must go to the corner when he wants to cry. Even at this young age, they can figure out that crying=segregation.

As far as the PNP...it's a matter of patience. I'd put all the other kids down and put his PNP right by you. Every.single.time he gets up, tell him that it is time to lie down, and put him on his back. It is a lot of work on your part, but within a few days, he should adjust.

[cheerfuldom]

If it is really out of control and you cant handle the trial period, I would just let him go now. I have done that before.

Otherwise, I would touch base with mom on your concerns, tell her how you are going to handle things and that you need to see improvement by X date otherwise you will have to let this family go. If he really is co-sleeping and can climb out of a pnp, I doubt anything is going to change in the next week but it is up to you if you want to at least try it.

[nannyde]

I have long sleep sacks, deep playpens, and use mitted sweatshirts. If he's clawing you make a mitted sweatshirt and keep it on him. Can you buy a pair of footed jammies that are bug and make a sleep sack to fit his body length.

Geesh how shallow is your playpen?

[craftymissbeth]

I have long sleep sacks, deep playpens, and use mitted sweatshirts. If he's clawing you make a mitted sweatshirt and keep it on him. Can you buy a pair of footed jammies that are bug and make a sleep sack to fit his body length.

Geesh how shallow is your playpen?

It's the deepest one I have. And it's fairly deep. He just digs his toes into the mesh and then lets his body fall over the side... straight onto his head. I'm worried that he's going to get very hurt because his body is perfectly straight when he falls so he's landing straight on the top of his head with all of his body weight.

I set up the superyard with a nap mat inside and he climbed over that, too.

I currently have the PNP next to me in the playroom. He went to sleep for about 20 minutes, but needed me to pat his back in order to fall asleep. He's now awake and I'm guessing he wants me to pat his back to fall back to sleep. This isn't something I do with my infants so I'm having a hard time wanting to do it for a toddler.

His cry/whine has an inflection on the end of it that makes it sound like it's a question... and it's about driving me crazy.

[craftymissbeth]

Yep, I went over, laid him back down and then laid my hand on his back. He immediately stopped crying.