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I know this is a bit lengthy so thank you if you read it. I kind of need to vent, but am hoping for some ideas too.
My son is almost 3 and I watch 2 full time kids from the same family ages 2.5 & 4. The children I care for struggle greatly with any type of independent play and I have spent 10 months modeling how to play with various toys, encouraging any positive behavior I see, etc. but I feel like I am failing with them. It's so frustrating. My son on the other hand LOVES to play and build with toys. He will build train tracks, block structures, play with rescue centers that have many parts, etc. and he will entertain himself sometimes for more than an hour.
The problem is that the other children won't initiate play with anything, but as soon as my son starts playing they run over to "play with him." In reality this involves taking his pieces, breaking the parts he has already constructed, knocking down his towers, etc. He gets so frustrated some days that he will just sit and cry. I have tried both explaining and showing them how to find the unused blocks and build beside him or join in his story line without taking the exact pieces he is using, but they just don't seem to get it.
I've had to resort to letting him play in his room by himself some days and I have to gate off the doorway to keep them from bothering him. Then they stand at the gate and holler at him. Nothing I have tried to get them to play with something else is working. I play with them, but the second I get up they are done with the toys.
He is now becoming aggressive with them and crying a lot, and when I ask him why he hit his friends he says "I asked them to stop nicely, but they won't listen." I'm at a loss as to how to handle this now. Anyone else have an issue like this? Do you allow your children to have their own space when dck are present? I know it really bothers the other children if he is allowed to play in his room without them, but I just don't know what else to do.
Thanks in advance.
My son is almost 3 and I watch 2 full time kids from the same family ages 2.5 & 4. The children I care for struggle greatly with any type of independent play and I have spent 10 months modeling how to play with various toys, encouraging any positive behavior I see, etc. but I feel like I am failing with them. It's so frustrating. My son on the other hand LOVES to play and build with toys. He will build train tracks, block structures, play with rescue centers that have many parts, etc. and he will entertain himself sometimes for more than an hour.
The problem is that the other children won't initiate play with anything, but as soon as my son starts playing they run over to "play with him." In reality this involves taking his pieces, breaking the parts he has already constructed, knocking down his towers, etc. He gets so frustrated some days that he will just sit and cry. I have tried both explaining and showing them how to find the unused blocks and build beside him or join in his story line without taking the exact pieces he is using, but they just don't seem to get it.
I've had to resort to letting him play in his room by himself some days and I have to gate off the doorway to keep them from bothering him. Then they stand at the gate and holler at him. Nothing I have tried to get them to play with something else is working. I play with them, but the second I get up they are done with the toys.
He is now becoming aggressive with them and crying a lot, and when I ask him why he hit his friends he says "I asked them to stop nicely, but they won't listen." I'm at a loss as to how to handle this now. Anyone else have an issue like this? Do you allow your children to have their own space when dck are present? I know it really bothers the other children if he is allowed to play in his room without them, but I just don't know what else to do.
Thanks in advance.
Trying to be loving, but firm. When dcb refused to find something to play with and began picking on my son as usual I immediately redirected him to the toy area and told him to go play. This went on repeatedly every minute or 2 for about 15 minutes. Then I got out a blanket and told him if he didn't choose a toy I would choose for him, but he was going to sit still and play. Had to repeatedly put him back on the blanket and he cried, "Don't want to," repeatedly for like another 15 minutes. At this point my nerves were pretty much shot so I strapped him in his highchair at the table, put a bunch of blocks on the table, and told him it was his choice whether he wanted to play with blocks or just sit in his chair, but he would not be getting up for 10 minutes as this was his chance to practice playing nicely. He threw the blocks in the floor and screamed for most of the 10 minutes. When I took him out of the seat I explained that he could go and pick a toy, but that if he bothered the other kids it would be right back into the high chair to play. (I'm not sure how else to get him to stay in the play area without hurting himself or terrorizing someone. He flat out refuses to stay on a blanket or in a hula hoop and he climbs over furniture and knocks down baby gates. Thankfully, he hasn't yet learned how to work the buckle on the high chair.) It was an hour and a half of back and forth with me saying "go play" and him screaming "Don't want to play," but right before nap time he actually went and picked a book on his own and sat down and flipped through it. Hopefully he catches on quick because this is exhausting.
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