Need To Vent: Rude Parent

[cheerfuldom]

I would send one more email "The decision is final. Do not contact me again. As stated, I will mail your refund and items to you in a timely fashion. Do not come to my house." and then do NOT open a single email from her. Save them all just in case but dont open them for weeks, give yourself the chance to have some space from this woman and do not let her ruin your maternity leave. The multiple emails just shows more bully type behavior.

[CraftyMom]

I agree with everyone, she let her true colors show and now she's back peddling!

Now you will have lots of time with your baby enjoy it and DON'T FEEL GUILTY!

By the way, how did it go? If you don't mind my asking. Did the baby behave and stay in the right position?

And is it a boy or girl?

[Kabob]

Congrats on your baby!!

I think Maya Angelou said "when people show you who they are, believe them". This dcm showed you who she was, instead of congratulating you on your new baby and asking how he/she was doing she chose to complain about you being closed and you "tricking" them???? Yeah, those are true colors right there. I have had WONDERFUL families that were inconvenienced when I had to close last year, they were able to express both their happiness for my situation and their "oh no, what am I going to do for care" at the same time - it can be done. She chose not to.

Can I ask though, why you told them 2 weeks and are now taking 3? Not that you don't deserve 3 weeks, but maybe she feels a little duped that you were saying 2 weeks and now added on another week.

I feel guilty exactly because of this. I warned everyone I might need more time and would update them as soon as possible when I knew more. This I told them back when I found out my baby was breech and might need a c-section if she flipped again. I didn't need a c-section but decided to take 3 weeks anyway as my dh preferred to have family time rather than watch the daycare for me since my assistant / sub is visiting her family. So, dh thinks I'm being harsh because I should have taken more than 2 weeks off to begin with (he was unhappy with the 2 weeks to begin with and wanted more time).

So, I understand her frustration but I just wasn't expecting the rude email. She is also very part time (2-3 days a week tops) so losing her wouldn't be a big deal but like I said, dh thinks I should be more customer oriented...he's so unhelpful right now by tearing me in 2 directions!

I just don't want to deal with this right now...dcm had missed work already because dcb was sick quite a bit before my leave so I know she's frustrated because of that....but then again I don't want to deal with perpetually sick dcb especially after the pediatrician told us that we need to be especially careful about our new little one's health or else it's back to the hospital for us.

On the plus side, I already have a lot of interest in the open spaces so I could feasibly start up again in 3 weeks if I wanted to and if I find the right families. I'm not worried about it.

On a lighter note, this is an odd way for me to announce that we had a baby girl...fortunately she stayed head down after the dr flipped her back around but she gave us a scare when she came out blue and not making a noise...and then they had trouble getting her body temp up to normal. She has been doing well now though and is much smaller than my ds was when he was born...just 7lbs and so quiet! So far anyway...

Thank you all for your support and feedback! I have had you all on my mind while going through this!

[childcaremom]

I would send one more email "The decision is final. Do not contact me again. As stated, I will mail your refund and items to you in a timely fashion. Do not come to my house." and then do NOT open a single email from her. Save them all just in case but dont open them for weeks, give yourself the chance to have some space from this woman and do not let her ruin your maternity leave. The multiple emails just shows more bully type behavior.

Congratulations!

[MarinaVanessa]

Well dcm was quick to say she didn't mean what she said and called it a case of miscommunication stemming from her frustration at having to use her vacation days.

Things didn't go as she had hoped they would have and she lashed out at you in frustration but you didn't tolerate it and now she's back-paddling. Let's just call it what it is.

I doubt she wants to apologize and come back only until she finds another DC like someone suggested because your daycare is closed for the next 3 weeks anyway which is plenty of time to find another DC.

How do your rates compare to other DC's? Are you doing anything special for this family that may be hard to find in other DC's? I'm just wondering if she really likes you and feels bad for jumping the gun or if her motives are purely selfish or convenience.

I quoted the above because of the part in bold. My response to her would have been ...

"This is a miss-communication issue? Please clarify for me which part I was misunderstanding. The part where you said, and I quote, 'you needing 3 weeks off is ridiculous' or the part where you say 'I think you are being dishonest'. Perhaps I'm misunderstanding the part where you said that I was 'a joke'.

In any case, miss-communication or not, I do not appreciate your reaction and I will not tolerate your behavior towards me. Your choice in words, regardless of whether they stemmed from frustration or not, has changed my opinion of our partnership and it would be extremely difficult for me to continue this working relationship with you and therefore because of that I have decide to discontinue your contract. "

But that is just me. For some reason the part where she says that is was a misunderstanding really bothers me. How can someone misunderstand being called a joke?? :confused:

[Laurel]

Things didn't go as she had hoped they would have and she lashed out at you in frustration but you didn't tolerate it and now she's back-paddling. Let's just call it what it is.

I doubt she wants to apologize and come back only until she finds another DC like someone suggested because your daycare is closed for the next 3 weeks anyway which is plenty of time to find another DC.

How do your rates compare to other DC's? Are you doing anything special for this family that may be hard to find in other DC's? I'm just wondering if she really likes you and feels bad for jumping the gun or if her motives are purely selfish or convenience.

I quoted the above because of the part in bold. My response to her would have been ...

"This is a miss-communication issue? Please clarify for me which part I was misunderstanding. The part where you said, and I quote, 'you needing 3 weeks off is ridiculous' or the part where you say 'I think you are being dishonest'. Perhaps I'm misunderstanding the part where you said that I was 'a joke'.

In any case, miss-communication or not, I do not appreciate your reaction and I will not tolerate your behavior towards me. Your choice in words, regardless of whether they stemmed from frustration or not, has changed my opinion of our partnership and it would be extremely difficult for me to continue this working relationship with you and therefore because of that I have decide to discontinue your contract. "

But that is just me. For some reason the part where she says that is was a misunderstanding really bothers me. How can someone misunderstand being called a joke?? :confused:

[KidGrind]

Things didn't go as she had hoped they would have and she lashed out at you in frustration but you didn't tolerate it and now she's back-paddling. Let's just call it what it is.

I doubt she wants to apologize and come back only until she finds another DC like someone suggested because your daycare is closed for the next 3 weeks anyway which is plenty of time to find another DC.

How do your rates compare to other DC's? Are you doing anything special for this family that may be hard to find in other DC's? I'm just wondering if she really likes you and feels bad for jumping the gun or if her motives are purely selfish or convenience.

I quoted the above because of the part in bold. My response to her would have been ...

"This is a miss-communication issue? Please clarify for me which part I was misunderstanding. The part where you said, and I quote, 'you needing 3 weeks off is ridiculous' or the part where you say 'I think you are being dishonest'. Perhaps I'm misunderstanding the part where you said that I was 'a joke'.

In any case, miss-communication or not, I do not appreciate your reaction and I will not tolerate your behavior towards me. Your choice in words, regardless of whether they stemmed from frustration or not, has changed my opinion of our partnership and it would be extremely difficult for me to continue this working relationship with you and therefore because of that I have decide to discontinue your contract. "

But that is just me. For some reason the part where she says that is was a misunderstanding really bothers me. How can someone misunderstand being called a joke?? :confused:

Yes! Yes! Yes!happyface

[CraftyMom]

Exactly what MV said! And I would send that to her

Horrible that you are made to feel bad about being home with your brand new baby after just having her!

Don't feel bad! You have no reason to!

[AmyLeigh]

First, congratulations!!!happyface:hug:

When I had my 2 older kiddos in part time daycare, the provider took 2 months off for maternity leave. Not once did I even think of getting upset with her for the inconvenience. I got enough notice to decide if I was going to have short term care until she started working again or change to another provider. I just had to decide what I had to do. (It just so happen to work out that about that time I ended up pregnant with my third and so I quit working when she went on leave.)

But to get mad about this? I just don't get people anymore.

[nannyde]

She just wants to have you back on board so she has someone three weeks from now for sure. She will find someone and then break up with you

Parents do not like being broken up with. They just don't. It goes against their idea that we work for them and they will tell us when we can't have their money anymore. It never crosses their mind that we would ever not want their money.

It also goes against their whole "I'm in the on up". When we term they are taken out of the one up. They say words to get back into one up so that when they quit they leave the relationship as the one up.

[melilley]

You're not the bad guy in this. It's one thing to express frustration in a respectful manner. It's a whole other thing to tell you you're a "joke" and that it's "ridiculous" to want to take time to bond with your baby. The frustration she feels would be understandable to me. The rudeness and child-like temper tantrum would not be. There will be other times when you will need to close with little notice -like when you or your kids are sick. What kind of response will you get from her then? If it were me, I'd stick with the original decision to term and not feel guilty about it.

a million times!

I agree, it is understandable to be frustrated, but the way she went about it was so rude. Please don't feel guilty and I wouldn't take her back either. No matter how mad I was, there is no way I could say that to the person who took care of my child and I liked.

Congratulations on your new baby!

[melilley]

Things didn't go as she had hoped they would have and she lashed out at you in frustration but you didn't tolerate it and now she's back-paddling. Let's just call it what it is.

I doubt she wants to apologize and come back only until she finds another DC like someone suggested because your daycare is closed for the next 3 weeks anyway which is plenty of time to find another DC.

How do your rates compare to other DC's? Are you doing anything special for this family that may be hard to find in other DC's? I'm just wondering if she really likes you and feels bad for jumping the gun or if her motives are purely selfish or convenience.

I quoted the above because of the part in bold. My response to her would have been ...

"This is a miss-communication issue? Please clarify for me which part I was misunderstanding. The part where you said, and I quote, 'you needing 3 weeks off is ridiculous' or the part where you say 'I think you are being dishonest'. Perhaps I'm misunderstanding the part where you said that I was 'a joke'.

In any case, miss-communication or not, I do not appreciate your reaction and I will not tolerate your behavior towards me. Your choice in words, regardless of whether they stemmed from frustration or not, has changed my opinion of our partnership and it would be extremely difficult for me to continue this working relationship with you and therefore because of that I have decide to discontinue your contract. "

But that is just me. For some reason the part where she says that is was a misunderstanding really bothers me. How can someone misunderstand being called a joke?? :confused:

[cheerfuldom]

She just wants to have you back on board so she has someone three weeks from now for sure. She will find someone and then break up with you

Parents do not like being broken up with. They just don't. It goes against their idea that we work for them and they will tell us when we can't have their money anymore. It never crosses their mind that we would ever not want their money.

It also goes against their whole "I'm in the on up". When we term they are taken out of the one up. They say words to get back into one up so that when they quit they leave the relationship as the one up.

yup. no one likes to end things without the upperhand and the last word.

[KiddieCahoots]

On a lighter note, this is an odd way for me to announce that we had a baby girl...fortunately she stayed head down after the dr flipped her back around but she gave us a scare when she came out blue and not making a noise...and then they had trouble getting her body temp up to normal. She has been doing well now though and is much smaller than my ds was when he was born...just 7lbs and so quiet! So far anyway...

Side track..........


Thank Heaven's for little girls! happyface

[Kabob]

Well, dh already has been sent out to mail the package so that is already done. Fortunately, she didn't really have much to send back.

I just haven't decided how to respond to her multiple apologies yet. It doesn't change anything and I agree that most likely she is buying time until she can find new daycare....and if not then I'm always going to wonder when she will ditch me.

My rates are the same on average as everyone else but my part time rates are higher so she really wasn't getting a deal...in fact I've seen people around here charge the same for part time as full time with the understanding that full time takes precedence. Usually she only needs 2 days a week and her child is in an age group that is very hard to find daycare for...especially since most daycares around here are full right now.

It still hurts that dh thinks I made this decision based purely on emotions but really...who wants to be called names or belittled at their job? I'm more mad that she sent one email that caused so much drama and stress for me and my family. I guess I just don't want to fuel the drama by responding with another email while emotional....