Bad Attitudes

[DaycareMom]

I am wondering how you all deal with/handle bad attitudes?

DCG5 will be super pouty/mopey whenever she doesn't get her way. Or, if we are doing a group activity that she is not interested in, she acts the same way and ****s all the fun out of it for everyone else. She is the oldest, so they all look up to her.

How do you handle this? Ignore, separate from the group, time out?

Any help would be appreciated. I am so sick of her bad attitude!!!

[Blackcat31]

Send to the "feeling spot".

They can "feel" any way they want while there.

As soon as they are ready to have fun and be a positive part of the group, they can re-join us.

I don't give that kind of thing too much attention as doing so seems to reinforce the behavior and sometimes makes it worse.

[Renae82]

Would she respond better if she were given some responsibility? Passing out materials, holding hands of the younger children, teaching younger children etc. Other than that, personally I wouldn't pay attention to it. If someone isn't interested they are permitted to do another activity nearby. I would simply say "It's too bad that you aren't enjoying this activity, our alternate activity right now is reading. Please come back and join us if your attitude improves." then go about your business.

[midaycare]

I agree with both PP's. I do both the feeling spot and give more responsibility to curb behaviour.

[Annalee]

Here are some materials I printed off of the csefel website that I have found beneficial for children to use in the cozy box. I just took a 2-liter box and covered with polkadot contact paper and laminated the printouts on the outside and placed other materials inside. Just some ideas I learned at a workshop. Not only do I find CSEFEL presenters wonderful for working with children, there are beneficial concepts we can use in our own personal lives. Just sharing!

[Meyou]

Send to the "feeling spot".

They can "feel" any way they want while there.

As soon as they are ready to have fun and be a positive part of the group, they can re-join us.

I don't give that kind of thing too much attention as doing so seems to reinforce the behavior and sometimes makes it worse.

What if the pout is brought on by not getting a toy they want and the pout ends when they can get the toy again?

Normally, I let children have as long a turn as they want here. I don't force them to share although I do communicate that it is nice to use words and ask for a turn and it is also nice to give someone waiting a turn when you're done.

That being said I have this spinner thing in my backyard with 4 seats. For big kids they can spin it with their hands on a central handle. For littles though they have worked out a system where two sit and one or two push. Works awesome except for one 4 year old who only wants to ride and manipulates the situation so she never gives up her seat. Whenever it is her turn to push she pouts, stomps and doesn't want to play anymore. I've been directing her away from the spinner for the rest of the morning each time this happens.

Her mood ALWAYS improves instantly if there is a spinner seat available again..... Which is why I have been taking away all her turns. Is this appropriate?

[Blackcat31]

What if the pout is brought on by not getting a toy they want and the pout ends when they can get the toy again?

Normally, I let children have as long a turn as they want here. I don't force them to share although I do communicate that it is nice to use words and ask for a turn and it is also nice to give someone waiting a turn when you're done.

That being said I have this spinner thing in my backyard with 4 seats. For big kids they can spin it with their hands on a central handle. For littles though they have worked out a system where two sit and one or two push. Works awesome except for one 4 year old who only wants to ride and manipulates the situation so she never gives up her seat. Whenever it is her turn to push she pouts, stomps and doesn't want to play anymore. I've been directing her away from the spinner for the rest of the morning each time this happens.

Her mood ALWAYS improves instantly if there is a spinner seat available again..... Which is why I have been taking away all her turns. Is this appropriate?

I would do EXACTLY that. She is focusing ALL her attention on one thing. What SHE wants. Until she can learn to manage that without the pouting and refusing to participate unless it's on her terms would be grounds for complete removal of the activity for her.

I would say "Sorry Suzy but you don't get to use the spinner today because you don't want to share."

Then explain to her that sharing means taking a turn being the pusher AND sometimes sitting in a different seat other than just the one she wants.

Once you thin she understands that remove the fixation of the seat she wants and allow her to play in every other aspect except that one. She needs to learn to be a gracious participant.

If she pouts again or throws a fit, remove the option of playing all together again.

Rinse and repeat.

[Meyou]

I would do EXACTLY that. She is focusing ALL her attention on one thing. What SHE wants. Until she can learn to manage that without the pouting and refusing to participate unless it's on her terms would be grounds for complete removal of the activity for her.

I would say "Sorry Suzy but you don't get to use the spinner today because you don't want to share."

Then explain to her that sharing means taking a turn being the pusher AND sometimes sitting in a different seat other than just the one she wants.

Once you thin she understands that remove the fixation of the seat she wants and allow her to play in every other aspect except that one. She needs to learn to be a gracious participant.

If she pouts again or throws a fit, remove the option of playing all together again.

Rinse and repeat.

That's what I've been doing for the most part. She has good days and bad days which seem to depend directly on her mood. She is very grumpy, cranky, angry and sullen when she's overtired in any way and she's currently in the middle of a growth spurt. I'll keep it up.