What Do You Do With Infants Who Are Held All The Time At Home?

[renodeb]

Are you sure you haven't been to my house lately?:: that sounds exactly like my 5 m/o dc girl. She's actually the baby sis to a child I have had for a long time now. They are great clients, very respectful and appreciate. The baby was born about 7 weeks early so she was in the NICU for about 5 weeks. Once they got her home mom has been holding her and nursing her to sleep every day. As soon as I separate her from my body she starts crying and cries and cries. Lets jut say she spends a lot of time in the baby swing. I do a lot of the hold her a while and then put her down. That's all you can do. That's what I would do. I think most babies do end up adjusting. Hang in there.

[Unregistered]

Do any of you even like kids?

[craftymissbeth]

Do any of you even like kids?

I know I shouldn't feed you, but if you actually read these posts the problems aren't the children. It's the parents.

I encourage you to care for 6-12 children 60 hours a week while they all scream because they're held all day at home and you are physically incapable of doing the same. IMO, if something is impossible to do for every child in my care then it's impossible to do for one.

[NightOwl]

Unregistered, don't be rude. We LOVE kids. That's why we're discussing practically every topic you can think of pertaining to kids on this forum.

This hurts my heart when a baby is so miserable because they are literally taught to be afraid, IMO. I'm not being held, nursed, carried, etc., therefore something is terribly wrong in my world. And who has taught them this? The parent.

I have struggled with this little guy from 6 weeks old and he's almost one. I've seen it first hand when mom is here. He peeps and she immediately rushes to him saying shush, shush, shush! It's Ok! I might need to mention that he has a HORRIBLE cry. It's like a screech owl dying and tortured death! Lol.

So I'm not sure if she's truly trying to coddle him or just avoid the death cry. But when she's not here, there are WAY less peeps because he has learned that I don't play that way. He's figured out that he is not the center of my universe and must share my attention with his friends.

So your little 4 month old can be taught to self soothe while with you, but may still be a clingy baby with mom.

I have stuck it out this long because I had big brother from 6 weeks until kindergarten. If I didn't already know this family, I would've termed at day 2! He has been a major challenge, but things are smoothing out for us and he's much happier now.

[Sugar Magnolia]

Do any of you even like kids?

Love kids!happyfacelovethis

Can't stand internet trolls.::

Gotta hand it to ya.....that's a pretty catchy line. Nice and inflammatory. ::

[Sugar Magnolia]

Unregistered, don't be rude. We LOVE kids. That's why we're discussing practically every topic you can think of pertaining to kids on this forum.

This hurts my heart when a baby is so miserable because they are literally taught to be afraid, IMO. I'm not being held, nursed, carried, etc., therefore something is terribly wrong in my world. And who has taught them this? The parent.

I have struggled with this little guy from 6 weeks old and he's almost one. I've seen it first hand when mom is here. He peeps and she immediately rushes to him saying shush, shush, shush! It's Ok! I might need to mention that he has a HORRIBLE cry. It's like a screech owl dying and tortured death! Lol.

So I'm not sure if she's truly trying to coddle him or just avoid the death cry. But when she's not here, there are WAY less peeps because he has learned that I don't play that way. He's figured out that he is not the center of my universe and must share my attention with his friends.

So your little 4 month old can be taught to self soothe while with you, but may still be a clingy baby with mom.

I have stuck it out this long because I had big brother from 6 weeks until kindergarten. If I didn't already know this family, I would've termed at day 2! He has been a major challenge, but things are smoothing out for us and he's much happier now.

Wednesday, trolls love long and thought out replies. I prefer sarcasm::::

[crazydaycarelady]

Actually we had a good first day. She did cry herself to sleep for a bit but she was pretty entertained just watching the kids so that helped. I do really appreciate that her parents got her used to the bottle before bringing her here. Nothing worse than a baby who is held all day AND won't drink from a bottle.

[playground1]

This hurts my heart when a baby is so miserable because they are literally taught to be afraid, IMO. I'm not being held, nursed, carried, etc., therefore something is terribly wrong in my world. And who has taught them this? The parent.

I think this comment is unfair in two ways. First, babies are humans and all of them have different personalities. Some of them are just naturally more fearful than others. That's okay, that's who they are. The just have different needs and maybe shouldn't be in a group day care.

And secondly, babies don't have instruction books, and there are a lot of things that a parent can't really be prepared for. Also okay. They just need to be open to being helped through it and frankly, we're the perfect people to do that.

[Cradle2crayons]

Unregistered, don't be rude. We LOVE kids. That's why we're discussing practically every topic you can think of pertaining to kids on this forum.

This hurts my heart when a baby is so miserable because they are literally taught to be afraid, IMO. I'm not being held, nursed, carried, etc., therefore something is terribly wrong in my world. And who has taught them this? The parent.

I have struggled with this little guy from 6 weeks old and he's almost one. I've seen it first hand when mom is here. He peeps and she immediately rushes to him saying shush, shush, shush! It's Ok! I might need to mention that he has a HORRIBLE cry. It's like a screech owl dying and tortured death! Lol.

So I'm not sure if she's truly trying to coddle him or just avoid the death cry. But when she's not here, there are WAY less peeps because he has learned that I don't play that way. He's figured out that he is not the center of my universe and must share my attention with his friends.

So your little 4 month old can be taught to self soothe while with you, but may still be a clingy baby with mom.

I have stuck it out this long because I had big brother from 6 weeks until kindergarten. If I didn't already know this family, I would've termed at day 2! He has been a major challenge, but things are smoothing out for us and he's much happier now.

I have an 11 month old I've had since the day he was released from the NICU at two weeks old. And every day the mom hands him over and he's all smiles and just the perfect baby. She says "wth he cries all the time with me unless I hold him" and I just do the blank stare. He doesn't want held at all here. He mom even says her kids like me better Than they like her.

[cara041083]

I don't plan on taking infants anymore due to this problem...if the parents aren't willing to prep their baby for group care by working on teaching them to self soothe and play independently at home then your chances of solving this problem quickly are slim...lots of time and energy on your part weaning them off of being held all day long. Sorry more of a rant than help...

I actually had a wait list and after the infant I have now I called everyone on that list and informed them I was turning into an 18 month and older daycare. Never again!

[TaylorTots]

Sometimes my DCKs act like little trolls.


Just sayin'

[Angelsj]

I think this comment is unfair in two ways. First, babies are humans and all of them have different personalities. Some of them are just naturally more fearful than others. That's okay, that's who they are. The just have different needs and maybe shouldn't be in a group day care.

And secondly, babies don't have instruction books, and there are a lot of things that a parent can't really be prepared for. Also okay. They just need to be open to being helped through it and frankly, we're the perfect people to do that.

Agreed. I have cared for dozens of infants over the years. Some are very relaxed and don't need or want to be held constantly. Others are just more cautious, or just need more human contact. Often they come from the same household, so I don't think we are discussing parents instilling fear. Just different kids with different personalities/needs.

[Blackcat31]

Agreed. I have cared for dozens of infants over the years. Some are very relaxed and don't need or want to be held constantly. Others are just more cautious, or just need more human contact. Often they come from the same household, so I don't think we are discussing parents instilling fear. Just different kids with different personalities/needs.

I agree. My DD was super social, loved other people (even strangers sometimes) adapted to change quickly and thrived in a group setting.

My DS on the other hand hated change, disliked anyone other than myself, my DH, his sister and sometimes his uncle. He did not do well in a group setting.

The difference though is that I decided to do what I needed to do for my child as his parent and quit my teaching job at Head Start and stayed home with my child verses subjecting a child care provider (with other children in care) to deal with it.

I dont think anyone is arguing that babies are or aren't the same... I think parents need to recognize and understand that sometimes their child is not cut out for group care and rather than just enroll their child in a daycare and expect the provider to figure it out, they need to really look at the individual needs of their child and make the care decision that bests fits that child's needs rather than what worked for a previous child or what option fits their paycheck... Kwim?

Like you have said before, you run a very different program than I do so that only further proves that there are so many different types of programs and providers out there that ideally no provider should have to deal with an infant that requires being held all day if it isn't something the provider can physically or emotionally manage.

[KiddieCahoots]

I think this comment is unfair in two ways. First, babies are humans and all of them have different personalities. Some of them are just naturally more fearful than others. That's okay, that's who they are. The just have different needs and maybe shouldn't be in a group day care.

Different personalities and needs, yes. Don't think the discussion is necessarily about that, as much as it is of a baby trying to learn self soothing methods. A parent that contributes by neglecting this is only setting their baby up for failure in a group setting, and stunting emotional and social growth. As statistically proven, when a child has lack of emotional and social growth, will impair their readiness for academics.

[NightOwl]

Agreed. I don't think removing the child from care will solve anything, only exacerbate it. And when kindergarten comes, Lord help them!