Need Advice Please....

[caregiver]

Okay, here is my situation. I want to term a brother & sister I have full time as soon as possible because of behavioral issue's I have been having with the 4 yr old boy since day 1. I have had them for a little over a yr now and his melt downs are almost everyday and he has maybe up to 3 a day if he doesn't get his way and I have tried to put up and handle this dcb, but I just can't anymore,he needs more then I can give him.
I currently am advertising for another child to replace them,just want one now instead of the 2,but will keep them until I find a replacement.
My question is, when I get a interview for another child, how do I go about explaining why I am looking if they ask and how do you go about giving them references,I mean I give them past families to contact, but what about current ones,I have another dcg who I am not terming, but do not want to lose her if her parents know I am looking to replace the other 2 dck's and how do I give them for a reference if interested families want to contact a current dcf? I don't intend to tell my other dcf that I will be terming the other 2 and finding a replacement as like I said I don't want them to take her out as the other 2 are more her age and I am not sure what age I will get to replace them. Hope this isn't to confusing to understand. I have not had to term but one other time and just not sure how to go about the interview with giving references and what to say about why I term them. Any advice would be appreciated.

[CraftyMom]

Okay, here is my situation. I want to term a brother & sister I have full time as soon as possible because of behavioral issue's I have been having with the 4 yr old boy since day 1. I have had them for a little over a yr now and his melt downs are almost everyday and he has maybe up to 3 a day if he doesn't get his way and I have tried to put up and handle this dcb, but I just can't anymore,he needs more then I can give him.
I currently am advertising for another child to replace them,just want one now instead of the 2,but will keep them until I find a replacement.
My question is, when I get a interview for another child, how do I go about explaining why I am looking if they ask and how do you go about giving them references,I mean I give them past families to contact, but what about current ones,I have another dcg who I am not terming, but do not want to lose her if her parents know I am looking to replace the other 2 dck's and how do I give them for a reference if interested families want to contact a current dcf? I don't intend to tell my other dcf that I will be terming the other 2 and finding a replacement as like I said I don't want them to take her out as the other 2 are more her age and I am not sure what age I will get to replace them. Hope this isn't to confusing to understand. I have not had to term but one other time and just not sure how to go about the interview with giving references and what to say about why I term them. Any advice would be appreciated.

There's no need to say anything or even bring it up. I've only had one interviewee ask why the previous child left, I just said their circumstances had changed...end of story. No need to go into detail. Actually you really can't give any details due to confidentiality.

As for your other dcg that you are keeping, there is no need to mention anything. If they ask you say the same thing, their circumstances have changed.

I don't think they would pull dcg out because another family left, never had that happen

[caregiver]

There's no need to say anything or even bring it up. I've only had one interviewee ask why the previous child left, I just said their circumstances had changed...end of story. No need to go into detail. Actually you really can't give any details due to confidentiality.

As for your other dcg that you are keeping, there is no need to mention anything. If they ask you say the same thing, their circumstances have changed.

I don't think they would pull dcg out because another family left, never had that happen

The only reason I am concerned about the other family leaving if I replace the other 2 is that they like that this dcg, who is 3 yrs old had 2 playmates that was her age,2 & 4 yrs old and if I get a younger one, say under a yr, that they would not like it as she has no one her age to play with. I will go as young as 9 months for another child. That is my only concern there. I still am concerned about if a interested family wants to talk to the current families and what do I say because the family of the 2 kids does not know that I ham looking to replace them, and the other family doesn't know either that I am looking to replace the other 2 kids.
I can say that their circumstances have changed, but what if they do want to talk to them?

[CraftyMom]

I would cross that bridge when and if you get to it.

At that point, if they ask for a current family reference, I would let the current family know that you are holding interviews and would they mind if you used them as a reference. If they say yes, then share the contact info with the interview family.

It's likely you won't even have to do this, so don't worry about it until you need to

[wdmmom]

1. Why would anyone ever ask why you have openings. You do. Kids age out, families move, parents change shifts, etc. There are a million and one reasons why you have an opening.

2. If you have a child in the daycare solely because this sibling group is there, it's probably time to term them too. If they aren't there because they like you, your program, your house, your rates and the convenience of close to work/school and only are there because someone else goes there, give them the boot! I would never want anyone in my care if the family didn't choose me based on my credentials/program/home.

3. If the prospective client asks for references, give them a few. No one says they have to be current clients!

[caregiver]

1. Why would anyone ever ask why you have openings. You do. Kids age out, families move, parents change shifts, etc. There are a million and one reasons why you have an opening.

2. If you have a child in the daycare solely because this sibling group is there, it's probably time to term them too. If they aren't there because they like you, your program, your house, your rates and the convenience of close to work/school and only are there because someone else goes there, give them the boot! I would never want anyone in my care if the family didn't choose me based on my credentials/program/home.

3. If the prospective client asks for references, give them a few. No one says they have to be current clients!

I have had people ask me why I have an opening. A few times now. As for the other family, they are not just here because of the sibling group,but when I was looking for another child to replace one that had left a yr ago, which is when I got the siblings, it took me awhile to find these 2, they seemed concern that it was taking too long to find another as they kept asking me if I had any leads yet and expressed that it would be nice if I found someone her age so she had a playmate, as the one that had left was about a yr younger then her at the time and they did not play well with each other because of the age. So I guess that is why I have a little bit of concern about he age of child I will get. I guess if they quit because of the age, then so be it, I just will have to keep looking to replace her.

[TwinKristi]

I've never had anyone ask me why I have an opening. I only have 1 of my current families on my references, the others are all past clients who have moved on to preschool or to stay home with mom.

And like someone else said, if hey DCG only is there because of he sibling set you want to term than I would be prepared to fill her spot too.