When a DCM Has a New Baby...

[Logged out]

Do you expect that the older child will take at least a few days off after the birth?

I was shocked when I received an email that dcm had her baby (early) last night, and then a few hours later, an email saying dcg would be in today.

They have family up visiting because it coincidentally happens to be the same weekend as dcg's birthday-the timing couldn't have worked out better to have a baby since everyone was already in town.

I could see if they had no back-up or support, but...

I know, people will say it's important to keep dcg on a routine, and gma probably wanted the day to herself to spend with the new baby, right?

But, this poor child never misses a day, and I even stopped charging in an attempt to get them to keep her home more often.

Also, they gave me a ton of crap when I had my baby about 2 weeks being far too much time for them to find coverage, and I worked until the day I gave birth at 41 weeks...

Is it typical for kids to come back to daycare as soon as possible after a new baby?

[Meyou]

All of my parents have brought the older kids on a regular schedule after a new baby. They may pick up or drop off early but they rarely miss a day right around the birth.

[TaylorTots]

I have 2 DCFs due in December. I know at least one will be sending DCG full time ASAP after baby's birth. When my DD was born, I sent DS (2.5) to daycare the next 3-4 days until I was able to handle a toddler and a newborn. I remember being pretty sore and tired that first week home

Also, they gave me a ton of crap when I had my baby about 2 weeks being far too much time for them to find coverage, and I worked until the day I gave birth at 41 weeks...

Water under the bridge.

[Play Care]

Do you expect that the older child will take at least a few days off after the birth?

I was shocked when I received an email that dcm had her baby (early) last night, and then a few hours later, an email saying dcg would be in today.

They have family up visiting because it coincidentally happens to be the same weekend as dcg's birthday-the timing couldn't have worked out better to have a baby since everyone was already in town.

I could see if they had no back-up or support, but...

I know, people will say it's important to keep dcg on a routine, and gma probably wanted the day to herself to spend with the new baby, right?

But, this poor child never misses a day, and I even stopped charging in an attempt to get them to keep her home more often.

Also, they gave me a ton of crap when I had my baby about 2 weeks being far too much time for them to find coverage, and I worked until the day I gave birth at 41 weeks...

Is it typical for kids to come back to daycare as soon as possible after a new baby?

My two dc boys did - mom had baby on the weekend and the family had worked together to watch the boys and keep them on schedule. I saw it as a positive thing because things were topsy turvey for them, but Ms. K was consistent, KWIM? Also, I don't know every families dynamics. Some relatives aren't capable of caring for young children all day, many probably have jobs, some relatives are virtual strangers, etc. The dcparents probably feel as though at least they know their older child is safe and having their routine, etc.
It sounds as if this family may be buying the new train of thought that day care is the same as school and that kids shouldn't miss it. It also sounds as if they are not the best fit for your program (based on their behavior when you had your child) have you looked into replacing them?

[Unregistered]

All of my parents have brought the older kids on a regular schedule after a new baby. They may pick up or drop off early but they rarely miss a day right around the birth.

Interesting. I guess it is common then. I figured family that never sees dcg might want to spend time with her, but maybe this is more common than I thought.

[Unregistered]

It sounds as if this family may be buying the new train of thought that day care is the same as school and that kids shouldn't miss it. It also sounds as if they are not the best fit for your program (based on their behavior when you had your child) have you looked into replacing them?

Yes, I have definitely thought about replacing! Very soon...

[Play Care]

I have 2 DCFs due in December. I know at least one will be sending DCG full time ASAP after baby's birth. When my DD was born, I sent DS (2.5) to daycare the next 3-4 days until I was able to handle a toddler and a newborn. I remember being pretty sore and tired that first week home
.

I had dd 2 in the summer when DH was off. It was AWESOME! He took care of older dd and I ate, nursed and slept. Had he not been home I totally would have enlisted MIL to take older dd for a few days. I felt as though I healed much faster after dd2 because I was able to rest.

[countrymom]

ok, I've never had it happen till last month. I thought it was wierd. So I have dcb on the same schedual as before.

[childcaremom]

I've only had one pregnant DCM and as soon as her mat leave started, her little one stayed home with her.

[Play Care]

I've only had one pregnant DCM and as soon as her mat leave started, her little one stayed home with her.

Not sure where the OP is, but if she's in the States the parents hardly get any mat leave - a barbaric 6-8 weeks. Hardly enough time for mom to heal, bond and establish nursing and then it's back to work. If I knew I was getting a year off my kids would be home.

[Chellieleanne]

I haven't experienced this, nor with my own kids. However I would probably keep my kids on their routine with a new baby, just shorter days. That way they don't have a dramatic adjustment to being home with another sibling on top of not going to daycare. It would also give me time to bond with the baby without needing to worry what my older kids were getting into kwim?

[taylorw1210]

I have had four kiddos myself - #3 and #4 both came during a deployment for my significant other and I have hardly any family nearby. I know how rough it is having a baby and trying to care for older siblings at the same time. I literally had #4 at 4am and was up at 3 hours later at 7am getting my older two fed breakfast, off to school and running around after my 2 year old.

I would totally expect my families to bring siblings right after they had a baby because I can totally relate!

Plus the kiddos most likely benefit from something in their life staying routine while they have the hard adjustment of adding a sibling.

[TaylorTots]

Not sure where the OP is, but if she's in the States the parents hardly get any mat leave - a barbaric 6-8 weeks. Hardly enough time for mom to heal, bond and establish nursing and then it's back to work. If I knew I was getting a year off my kids would be home.

Agree!

Both DCFs that are expecting here are teachers who get 6-8 weeks for maternity leave. One will be taking 6 weeks because her employer basically told her that she has taken too much time off for her DCG's illnesses this past year (had horrible ear infections, ended up with tubes = blessing). I think it is (as you said it perfectly) barbaric to require someone to take a shorter leave due to prior issues.

On that same note, I told DCM to prepare DCD to take off time as needed then when either child was ill - that my illness policies were not bendable regardless of their time off available and again suggested finding a back up care provider.

[Soccermom]

Sadly, this is completely normal.

What shocks me the most is when they continue to bring them regularly for an entire year while they stay home and enjoy their new baby.

It boggles my mind that these DCPs don't realize the affect this has on their child and the possible aggression the child may have towards their sibling later on.

Note to all Daycare Parents - Kids would NOT rather be at daycare and if they would rather be at daycare then YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING WRONG!

YOU would rather they be at daycare.......and for that reason, you probably shouldn't be reproducing anymore!

[Unregistered]

Sadly, this is completely normal.

What shocks me the most is when they continue to bring them regularly for an entire year while they stay home and enjoy their new baby.

It boggles my mind that these DCPs don't realize the affect this has on their child and the possible aggression the child may have towards their sibling later on.

Note to all Daycare Parents - Kids would NOT rather be at daycare and if they would rather be at daycare then YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING WRONG!

YOU would rather they be at daycare.......and for that reason, you probably shouldn't be reproducing anymore!

OP here- I was just thinking a few minutes ago how dcg has literally no idea what is happening. She "knows" she saw the baby yesterday, but today she is back at daycare like nothing has happened. I think she will be in for a big shock when dcm comes home from the hospital in a day or two, and dcg sees that this baby is staying