Please Critique My Ad!

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  • Annalee
    Daycare.com Member
    • Jul 2012
    • 5864

    #16
    I like the bullet points version. In some workshops/trainings I have taken, they taught us that the average person only reads the first 3 sentences of an email/ad/text, etc. After that, it is just "jibber/jabber words". They say to highlight what is important with bullet points.....less is more when capturing the reader. Good luck with your daycare!
    Last edited by Annalee; 04-23-2014, 10:53 AM. Reason: spelling

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    • craftymissbeth
      Legally Unlicensed
      • May 2012
      • 2385

      #17
      Originally posted by DuchessRavenwaves
      Is this better? Should I cut off the intro, or leave it?
      lovethis it! I hope you get so many responses that you have the difficult decision of getting to pick who's best

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      • MotherNature
        Matilda Jane Addict
        • Feb 2013
        • 1120

        #18
        Heh, if you were in my town, you'd be near me. Our fairgrounds is on the near eastside too. Made me look twice.

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        • DuchessRavenwaves
          Daycare.com Member
          • Apr 2014
          • 37

          #19
          MotherNature, for a second I thought maybe I was! I'm in a different midwest I-state, though.

          Thanks, everybody! I put up photos, too, so I hope that will help. Now I'll just sit back and wait for the emails to start rolling in, right? Ha!

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          • Unregistered

            #20
            You don't need a ton of calls You just need the RIGHT calls

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