How Strict Are You?

[DanceMom]

I am very strict, if I am not these kids would be running wild and having 8 kids running wild isnt going to happen for my and their sanity ! We also have A LOT of fun ! They all know the rules in this house and they MUST follow them.

[Crystal]

I think that "setting the expectations for behavior" from the beginning is very important and goes along way in preventing behavioral issues. If you are firm and consistent from the day they start, they will quickly understand the expectations and will comply, for the most part. That frees you up to do alot less conflict management and damage control and allows for a happy, productive daily experience for both the provider and the children.

[missnikki]

I think that "setting the expectations for behavior" from the beginning is very important and goes along way in preventing behavioral issues. If you are firm and consistent from the day they start, they will quickly understand the expectations and will comply, for the most part. That frees you up to do alot less conflict management and damage control and allows for a happy, productive daily experience for both the provider and the children.

If only parents would understand, too. It just takes an unnecessarily long time when everyone's on a different page. It should not be parents backing us up, it SHOULD be we are backing up the parents. That is the best way I can sum up my strictness- it is more undoing parent behaviors than kid behaviors. I am as strict with the children as I need to be, and moreso with the parents.

[countrymom]

If only parents would understand, too. It just takes an unnecessarily long time when everyone's on a different page. It should not be parents backing us up, it SHOULD be we are backing up the parents. That is the best way I can sum up my strictness- it is more undoing parent behaviors than kid behaviors. I am as strict with the children as I need to be, and moreso with the parents.

I have to agree too, if only......

[Unregistered]

Rules

I spanked my own daughter when I needed to when she was younger, but I made sure that the punishment fit the crime. I grew up in a home where I got more than just spanked. I was beaten and I remember thinking to myself that I'll never be that kind of mom. I have had daycare parents in the past tell me that I could spank their kids if I needed to and while I appreciate the trust that they have in me, I'll pass on the spankings! I've had luck with just making sure that the children in my care know what I expect from them and know that I will follow through when it comes to consequences for breaking a rule. As a result, they know that I'm as serious as a heart attack when it comes to enforcing my rules.

[laundrymom]

I have to say, I do spank my own kids,... and once in almost 22 years have I smacked a childcare child,..it was about 15 yrs ago he was three and kept going behind the edge of an end table, reaching under, taking out the plug in protector and putting it in his mouth,.laughing at me. After about 3 times, I grabbed him, sat him on the counter, held his hand in mine, popped it once, not hard but just a quick little smack, I told him it was not funny, not allowed and not going to happen again,.... then I sat him on the floor and walked away,... grabbed the phone, called his mom crying, told her,.... she said she had been having trouble at home as well, that he thought it was funny when she ran after him,.. that he actually got up on the dryer and tried to unplug it!!! well,.. he never toughed another plug, outlet or protector at home or child care,.. and Ive not had to anything like that again.

[sahm2three]

I am strict. I treat all the dck's just like my own kids as well. I am not a yeller. I use common sense parenting techniques mostly. I do time outs starting around 18 months. Mostly just redirect, telling them a stern NO. I talk to the older kids. I ask about how they are feeling and validate their feelings. We talk about how to handle things differently next time. I am talking 4 and older. I try to remember when dealing with others kids, how lucky I was that I was able to stay home with all three of my kids, and I would have wanted a loving daycare to take my kids to if I would have had to. But I am strict. There is no hitting, no jumping on furniture, no yelling, we talk respectfully, no running (hardwood floors, ouch), no throwing toys, and we are kind and gentle to the animals. These are the main rules. And I am a stickler. I feel like there is someone getting a talking to, getting put in time out, and redirecting all day long. But then, at the end of the day, when I get hugs and I Love You's, and kids crying because they don't want to leave, I know I am doing something right!

[kendallina]

I also have high expectations for behavior (obviously considering their age and development) and I try to be very clear about the expectations. I have found that the first few weeks is soooo important for setting up those expectations. I'm very firm and strict during those first few weeks and they start to see that I'm serious and they respect me very much for it. After those first couple of weeks, they don't try to test me much anymore as they know I don't put up with it.

I don't really do time outs or other punishments. Mostly I use redirection and just talking with them. For very serious offenses I'll say to them that they need to go sit in a chair until I can come over and talk to them (almost always within a minute or so). It's kind of like a time out, but it's really more so they can have a talk with me and get redirected. I use this mostly when we're outside and if they go out of the boundary area and don't come back when I call to them (I'm not fenced in here). I'll say, "Lily, go to the porch now." in a firm voice and i start walking to the porch (I never chase them) and they always come right away when I get that serious.

I've had parents tell me that I can spank their kids, but I don't spank my own and won't spank theirs either and I tell them this.