Why is it......

[caregiver]

that parents want their children to know how to read,know their ABC's, numbers,how to write their name all before attending preschool? Isn't that what preschool is for, to teach the kids all that. Preschool age starts at age 3 yrs old, the child has JUST been alive for 3 yrs,not a long time, so why the push from society and parents to have them know all this BEFORE preschool?
Why can't society of today allow children to just be a child for those few years and not make parents think that they have to push their child to learn all this before age 3......
I'm not talking about those of you that also teach preschool thru your daycare as you incorporate that into your daycare.
I'm just talking about parents that send their child to a preschool besides daycare and think that their child needs to know all this before they enter a preschool.
Sorry, just a vent.

[CraftyMom]

that parents want their children to know how to read,know their ABC's, numbers,how to write their name all before attending preschool? Isn't that what preschool is for, to teach the kids all that. Preschool age starts at age 3 yrs old, the child has JUST been alive for 3 yrs,not a long time, so why the push from society and parents to have them know all this BEFORE preschool?
Why can't society of today allow children to just be a child for those few years and not make parents think that they have to push their child to learn all this before age 3......
I'm not talking about those of you that also teach preschool thru your daycare as you incorporate that into your daycare.
I'm just talking about parents that send their child to a preschool besides daycare and think that their child needs to know all this before they enter a preschool.
Sorry, just a vent.

I agree! I am a big believer in "kids need to be kids". Sure my younger ones learn their ABC's and such just by being around the others, but I don't push it on them the way some parents want done, and I make that clear at interviews. Kids learn A LOT through play. I think it's just society and wanting to say "look what my 2 year old can do". So parents feel like they have the smartest kid or whatever, but so not necessary! There is only a very short time in a child's life where they don't have to worry about a single thing other than being a kid, why is it being taken away?

[sally]

I definitely see your point as some parents push their kids way to hard and expect way too much from them. But I also would rather have parents want to help their kids excel in life and try to help them. I have a 3 year old boy in my daycare who is so far behind in his developmental milestones that I feel he will never catch up. His parents do not read to him - he doesn't have a long enough attention span to listen to 1 page from a book. He cannot speak very well so that you can understand him - the parents plop him down in front of the tv all the time. He doesn't know any ABC's or numbers or colors or shapes or even animal sounds. When you work with him he'll pick up on them but within an hour he can't remember them. He also doesn't know any nursery rhymes or songs or anything.

[caregiver]

I definitely see your point as some parents push their kids way to hard and expect way too much from them. But I also would rather have parents want to help their kids excel in life and try to help them. I have a 3 year old boy in my daycare who is so far behind in his developmental milestones that I feel he will never catch up. His parents do not read to him - he doesn't have a long enough attention span to listen to 1 page from a book. He cannot speak very well so that you can understand him - the parents plop him down in front of the tv all the time. He doesn't know any ABC's or numbers or colors or shapes or even animal sounds. When you work with him he'll pick up on them but within an hour he can't remember them. He also doesn't know any nursery rhymes or songs or anything.

I see your point also. The parents need to take an interest in their child's development for sure,it's saddens me to hear how some parents don't do these things for their child. I'm just talking about the parents that seem to want or expect their child to know these things before going to preschool,to be the smartest one there, so to speak. If they know all this, wonderful, but why the push to MAKE them know everything,just to say to other parents,My child is so smart, they knew all this before age 3. It makes the parent feel good, not the child, the child does not care. If they already know these things, why send them to preschool,they probably will get bored as they do know all the things they teach. How to get along with other kids at preschool is a good thing to learn,but if they know all that other stuff, what good is it doing, other then saying my child goes to preschool.
An example is, I had a JUST turned 2 yr old dcg awhile ago and the Mom said to me,I WANT her to know her ABC's and to be able to sing the ABC song and know it perfect BEFORE we send her to a preschool. Well, we do go over the ABC's and sing the song here, but to demand that her 2 yr old know it perfect before preschool, seems to much to me. Come on, she JUST had turned 2, just learning to talk pretty well. Maybe it is just my age and I am just old school where you let a child be a child for a few years and don't demand that they HAVE to know certain things before age 3, just me I guess.

[Leigh]

I consider it a parental responsibility to teach these things, and as a parent, I consider it my privelege to be the one to teach these things to my own child. My own DS, who just turned 2, can count to 20, can recite ABC's, recognizes letters and numbers, and has a very extensive vocabulary.

This doesn't come about by sitting at a table at daycare having these things drilled into your head. It comes from bonding time with parents, reading books, singing songs, and play. I do these same things with my daycare kids, but nowhere near to the extent that I do it with my own-he lives it 24/7. I limit the TV that he watches, and provide endless opportunities for him to problem solve and learn. He has no idea that he is learning things-he's having fun.

I'm NO supermom. I just do what all parents should-give him the opportunity to learn when he's ready, and spend LOTS of time instilling a love for learning from the start. We started reading to him and "teaching" him these things from birth. I don't entertain him all day long-he entertains himself much of the time with things he has learned to do.

I'd love to see more parents take responsibility for their own kids rather then expecting a stranger to do it for him. I make it very clear to parents at interviews that I do NOT take responsibility for kindergarten prep, and that it is their job to do that as parents. I DO contribute to the process, but I will never assume a parent's responsibility to do so, nor would I push a child of any age to learn what they're not ready to-it creates kids who despise learning, IMO.

I could go on all day about "those parents" who are too busy to take care of their own kids, or that expect their kids to be over-achievers as toddlers. If they would cultivate and respect their child's strengths, they'd have kids "ready" for school without even trying!

[MommaB3]

I don't understand it as well.

What gets to me is that they want their 3-year-old to know all their letters, numbers, colors, etc. but they think it is totally okay that the child is dependent on you for simple tasks such as getting their coat on or putting their shoes on and other basic self-help skills. I'll never understand why people don't teach their child to do things for themselves instead of relying on others.

[caregiver]

I don't understand it as well.

What gets to me is that they want their 3-year-old to know all their letters, numbers, colors, etc. but they think it is totally okay that the child is dependent on you for simple tasks such as getting their coat on or putting their shoes on and other basic self-help skills. I'll never understand why people don't teach their child to do things for themselves instead of relying on others.

[caregiver]

I consider it a parental responsibility to teach these things, and as a parent, I consider it my privelege to be the one to teach these things to my own child. My own DS, who just turned 2, can count to 20, can recite ABC's, recognizes letters and numbers, and has a very extensive vocabulary.

This doesn't come about by sitting at a table at daycare having these things drilled into your head. It comes from bonding time with parents, reading books, singing songs, and play. I do these same things with my daycare kids, but nowhere near to the extent that I do it with my own-he lives it 24/7. I limit the TV that he watches, and provide endless opportunities for him to problem solve and learn. He has no idea that he is learning things-he's having fun.

I'm NO supermom. I just do what all parents should-give him the opportunity to learn when he's ready, and spend LOTS of time instilling a love for learning from the start. We started reading to him and "teaching" him these things from birth. I don't entertain him all day long-he entertains himself much of the time with things he has learned to do.

I'd love to see more parents take responsibility for their own kids rather then expecting a stranger to do it for him. I make it very clear to parents at interviews that I do NOT take responsibility for kindergarten prep, and that it is their job to do that as parents. I DO contribute to the process, but I will never assume a parent's responsibility to do so, nor would I push a child of any age to learn what they're not ready to-it creates kids who despise learning, IMO.

I could go on all day about "those parents" who are too busy to take care of their own kids, or that expect their kids to be over-achievers as toddlers. If they would cultivate and respect their child's strengths, they'd have kids "ready" for school without even trying!

I applaud the fantastic job your doing with your child! That is wonderful and that's what parents should be doing! He is learning, but in a fun way, no pressure. Many parents today are just to into the"ME" thing and are so busy doing what they want, that they are not paying enough attention to their child and do expect stranger's to educate them, so they don't have to take the time themselves. It's really sad when people have kids and then don't want the responsibility of taking time with them,playing with them and just being a parent.

This is off subject by a long shot, but when my oldest son was in middle school or maybe even grade school, can't quite remember now....memory is not what it used to be,age thing....! I would make his lunch at night for him to take to school. One night he had a friend over and his friend saw me making his lunch and said to him" Your Mom actually will make your lunch?" My son said "yes she does, everyday" Well his friend said "All my Mom does is throw money at me and tells me to buy my lunch". This kid could not believe that I would actually take the time to make my son his lunch. How sad, I always felt sorry for this boy after that,I even offered to make him a lunch too, but he said No, his Mom would probably not like it. Sorry for the long story.

Kids grow up so fast on us and are out on their own before we realize how much time has flown by that parents are missing so much of their child's life when they don't get involved much. It's precious time we can never get back.

[Play Care]

I don't understand it as well.

What gets to me is that they want their 3-year-old to know all their letters, numbers, colors, etc. but they think it is totally okay that the child is dependent on you for simple tasks such as getting their coat on or putting their shoes on and other basic self-help skills. I'll never understand why people don't teach their child to do things for themselves instead of relying on others.

I was just coming in to say this! I've had parents ask me if I've felt their child was ready for school (meaning, do they know their ABC's and 123's) and were upset when I pointed out that K readiness often has nothing to do with those things. They want kids who can sit still, follow directions, use kind words, wait patiently for turns, etc. And often the parents who push the academic side, completely ignore the other (and IMO, more important) aspect of school readiness which is behavioral. If your 5 yo still hits when he gets upset, does it really matter that he knows his ABC's?

[Leigh]

I applaud the fantastic job your doing with your child! That is wonderful and that's what parents should be doing! He is learning, but in a fun way, no pressure. Many parents today are just to into the"ME" thing and are so busy doing what they want, that they are not paying enough attention to their child and do expect stranger's to educate them, so they don't have to take the time themselves. It's really sad when people have kids and then don't want the responsibility of taking time with them,playing with them and just being a parent.

This is off subject by a long shot, but when my oldest son was in middle school or maybe even grade school, can't quite remember now....memory is not what it used to be,age thing....! I would make his lunch at night for him to take to school. One night he had a friend over and his friend saw me making his lunch and said to him" Your Mom actually will make your lunch?" My son said "yes she does, everyday" Well his friend said "All my Mom does is throw money at me and tells me to buy my lunch". This kid could not believe that I would actually take the time to make my son his lunch. How sad, I always felt sorry for this boy after that,I even offered to make him a lunch too, but he said No, his Mom would probably not like it. Sorry for the long story.

Kids grow up so fast on us and are out on their own before we realize how much time has flown by that parents are missing so much of their child's life when they don't get involved much. It's precious time we can never get back.

HA! We sure don't FEEL like we're doing a fantastic job! He is far from the perfect child, and we are FAR from perfect parents! I was lucky enough to be blessed with perfect parents (in my eyes) who brought us up the very same way.

It's sad when kids feel like their parents don't care enough to do the little things like make lunch or occasionally hang up the phone or put down the laptop when their child asks a question or needs some love. And what someone else said about kids "doing for themselves": AMEN! I can't believe what helpless little children get dropped on my doorstep every morning! They truly believe that they CAN'T put on their own shoes or coat-because their parents don't have the patience to let them try. I have a 2.5 year old DCB who was ecstatic the other day when he put on his own shoes after telling me "I can't! I can't!"...when he did, it looked like the happiest moment of his life! Parents need to slow down and stop looking at the "big" stuff and focus on the things like this-the big stuff comes naturally after children achieve what parents see as insignificant.

[caregiver]

HA! We sure don't FEEL like we're doing a fantastic job! He is far from the perfect child, and we are FAR from perfect parents! I was lucky enough to be blessed with perfect parents (in my eyes) who brought us up the very same way.

It's sad when kids feel like their parents don't care enough to do the little things like make lunch or occasionally hang up the phone or put down the laptop when their child asks a question or needs some love. And what someone else said about kids "doing for themselves": AMEN! I can't believe what helpless little children get dropped on my doorstep every morning! They truly believe that they CAN'T put on their own shoes or coat-because their parents don't have the patience to let them try. I have a 2.5 year old DCB who was ecstatic the other day when he put on his own shoes after telling me "I can't! I can't!"...when he did, it looked like the happiest moment of his life! Parents need to slow down and stop looking at the "big" stuff and focus on the things like this-the big stuff comes naturally after children achieve what parents see as insignificant.

AMEN!!!!!