Trying Very Hard Not To Be Bitter

[deliberateliterate]

Was there ever an update to this??

[Unregistered]

Me too, I would want to say something. Probably best to let it go though

I had a family with 2 kids give their notice for last day to be the day before my PAID vacation started, even though I knew the kids weren't starting at their new preschool for 2 more weeks. Clearly they were avoiding having to pay my vacation. I was at capacity, so I had to wait for them to leave before anyone could start, which now would be AFTER my vaca. Any way I sliced it I lost a week's pay for 2 spots.

Totally ****ed the way they did this! After caring for their kids all year and dealing with a lot of bull from them and accommodating in several instances, this is how they repaid me, by screwing me.


I told them that respectfully they SHOULD pay my vacation and told them why I thought so. Of course I had no grounds to make them pay. They couldn't understand why I felt this way.

Anyway, I learned NOT to accommodate and learned that even the best people will screw you over to benefit themselves!

I now have a policy about termination within a month of my paid vacation

I also have a paid vacation, but I don't take payment for those days (I don't always take it in one lump sum). I calculated my rates to make it look like those weeks are free. I.e. charging 125 a week instead of 120 to make up for it.

[Unregistered]

I have had many situations where parents have had life changes that would substantially lower my hourly rate if I "worked" with them to accommodate. I have had some who were upset when I said I wouldn't do the care because they believed that I would and should accommodate so that I could still have the kid.

Often parents believe that you are caring for the kid first and foremost because you love them and that you should accept their situation because of that love. It's uncomfortable and unsettling when the answer is... I care for your kid but I will have the same care and love for the kid that takes your kids slot.

When we say no because we want the money they feel hurt.

It shouldn't be that way but it is. Offering discounts or working cheap for the prospect of future money is never a good idea. If you want to do it then do it for you not the family. If you want to do community service and you pick a family that you will volunteer or work really cheaply for then do it for yourself and don't look back. Doing it for them is only in YOUR mind. Most parents receiving free only value it while they are getting it and deep down inside I think most feel the free is deserved. They often look at us as being perfectly able to give the free and because we can we should.

This family is a perfect example of this. They received a HUGE gift and they don't feel a second of obligation. As soon as the free was up they booked. They leave now with free words: thank you for the free.

I also don't like giving any thing for free, because they won't want the service once it's not free/not reduced. I think as we are our businesses, it takes a toll on YOU. I.e. you're ok when no one else is around does HURT. When I have all older children, I do projects with supplies. I don't want to say what the supplies are as I don't want to out myself is anyone in my area reads. Once they were paid for, I could reuse them. One year, I decided not to charge a fee for these supplies. So many got broken or "lost" (parent kept it). I'll never forget my father in-law gave this coin to a waitress we had. It was part gold. It was worth about 50 dollars. (It was a big dinner). The waitress said to him "I don't want this foreign money you gave me". Not knowing what it was. He was so turned off he gave her a 20 dollar bill and she was happy with it. My point is "value" is often perceived in terms of money.

[Tasha]

Hi, since a couple of you asked how this ended... I texted DCM that I wouldn't take her kids back, not now, not ever, because of her shabby treatment of me. I guess she finally got the message. She eventually wound up at a daycare center PT for awhile, then pulled them for reasons I don't know. I did hear from her after that, not asking to bring the kids back but just a text to ''see how (I'm) doing." I never responded. Looking back on it, I cannot believe I went through all that and unfortunately that whole mess has sort-of hardened me as a provider. I've learned that when parents ask me to ''work with'' them, all it really means is that they want special. It really is the phrase I dread the most. I've had a couple of doozy families since then, and I guess after having a great run of several years it was bound to happen that I'd have a bad spell.