Just need to vent about a parent!!

[Unregistered]

I know this isn't the worst thing ever, but it still really annoys me. I have a DCM that is so forgetful it's just crazy.. I guess it just bugs me because I am the complete opposite (I rarely forget things) so it's hard for me to empathize with her.

Here's just an example of this week.
MON: forgot to bring outside clothes for her daughter (snow pants, gloves, hat, etc.)… we still have snow and it's still cold outside!!
TUES: forgot daughters lunch box… umm, your kid needs to eat lunch!
WED: is 5 minutes past my closing time and DOES NOT SAY A THING ABOUT IT!! No acknowledging that she's late, no sorry, no nothing.
THURS: is 10 minutes past my closing time and, again, no apology.
FRI: forgot payment (I would have said something but I didn't realize this until after she left at drop off today, because I assumed that DCM would be picking up today… well, DCG said her aunt is picking her up today, so that means no check for me today).

She's always in such a hurry, flying in and out of here. DCG tells me all the time that she forgot to brush her teeth or comb her hair, she didn't have time to eat breakfast, etc. If she wasn't always running late, I'm sure that DCM wouldn't be so forgetful!

And about the late pick up's this week… this has never happened before with them. DCG's grandma usually picks her up because DCM works past my closing time. Well DCG told me Thursday that her grandma is on vacation (which was the first I heard of this!)… that would be why DCM is picking up late.. why couldn't DCM just tell me about the situation and ask if it's okay if she's 10 minutes late?!? Then I wouldn't have a problem with it!

Ugh!! Okay thanks for listening! Just really needed to VENT!!!

[FCCarmyprovider]

:hug:
Hopefully its not a repeating pattern for dcg to be neglected like that. Poor you and poor dcg I hope everything improves!

[Leigh]

When I was using daycare myself, I could be forgetful, too. I understand. If I forgot something, I turned my butt around, called work and told them I would be late (NOT something they appreciated at work), and went and got what my son needed for daycare. The CHILD is the priority, and if he needed something for daycare, I went and got it. There is no reason that this mom couldn't do the same. Call her and tell her that she forgot payment, and you need it by 5:30, or whatever time you close.

[Shell]

I have a dcm like this. It took me a long time to realize that the things that bothered me, and I would fester about, she didn't even notice or give a second thought. I used to think she was being disrespectful, but she just didn't really think about the daycare once her daughter was dropped off.

You would think these things that she forgets are common sense since they are for her child, but she was too caught up in her own issues to consider how it was inconveniencing our day. Once I started calling her to bring items, such as payment, or clothing, she complied. She just needed extra reminders ::

[Blackcat31]

I have a dcm like this. It took me a long time to realize that the things that bothered me, and I would fester about, she didn't even notice or give a second thought. I used to think she was being disrespectful, but she just didn't really think about the daycare once her daughter was dropped off.

You would think these things that she forgets are common sense since they are for her child, but she was too caught up in her own issues to consider how it was inconveniencing our day. Once I started calling her to bring items, such as payment, or clothing, she complied. She just needed extra reminders ::

You can't change other people. You CAN change how you react to them.

[MotherNature]

I can relate. I'm a super punctual/early person. My mom was late for everything and still runs on her own time zone it seems. I think it's rude to be consistently late and have a hard time sympathizing with those that are always late or forgetful. I have a good memory, plus most people use cells that have a calendar to remind you of important stuff. No excuse. It seems I'm a dying breed though. Every single mom I know, save one or two, is late for everything constantly. I just don't get it. I have small kids too and high need, difficult, stubborn one at that. I'm still on time for everything. Time mgmt is a vanishing skill it seems. Can you tell late, flaky people bother me?

[Unregistered]

I can relate. I'm a super punctual/early person. My mom was late for everything and still runs on her own time zone it seems. I think it's rude to be consistently late and have a hard time sympathizing with those that are always late or forgetful. I have a good memory, plus most people use cells that have a calendar to remind you of important stuff. No excuse. It seems I'm a dying breed though. Every single mom I know, save one or two, is late for everything constantly. I just don't get it. I have small kids too and high need, difficult, stubborn one at that. I'm still on time for everything. Time mgmt is a vanishing skill it seems. Can you tell late, flaky people bother me?

That's exactly how I feel!!

[Unregistered]

I have a dcm like this. It took me a long time to realize that the things that bothered me, and I would fester about, she didn't even notice or give a second thought. I used to think she was being disrespectful, but she just didn't really think about the daycare once her daughter was dropped off.

You would think these things that she forgets are common sense since they are for her child, but she was too caught up in her own issues to consider how it was inconveniencing our day. Once I started calling her to bring items, such as payment, or clothing, she complied. She just needed extra reminders ::

Thank you. I know you're right, she just needs extra reminders and I need to have a backbone and just remind her!.. I just left a message with dcm reminding her that a payment is due today.

[Sugar Magnolia]

She's not "forgetting". It's just not a priority. If you are allowing her to "forget", she has proven she will forget on a daily basis.

[Unregistered]

She's not "forgetting". It's just not a priority. If you are allowing her to "forget", she has proven she will forget on a daily basis.

You're right.. and I'm going to do something about her habit of late payments. But I just don't understand how her child isn't a priority!! (when it comes to forgetting lunch, not having time for breakfast, etc.)

[spud912]

MON: forgot to bring outside clothes for her daughter (snow pants, gloves, hat, etc.)… we still have snow and it's still cold outside!! Send her home to pick them up.....with her daughter.
TUES: forgot daughters lunch box… umm, your kid needs to eat lunch! Send her home to pick them up.....with her daughter.
WED: is 5 minutes past my closing time and DOES NOT SAY A THING ABOUT IT!! No acknowledging that she's late, no sorry, no nothing. Charge her the late fee, due the next morning BEFORE you accept dcg into care.
THURS: is 10 minutes past my closing time and, again, no apology. Charge her the late fee, due the next morning BEFORE you accept dcg into care.
FRI: forgot payment (I would have said something but I didn't realize this until after she left at drop off today, because I assumed that DCM would be picking up today… well, DCG said her aunt is picking her up today, so that means no check for me today). Remind her of payment and that if it is late there is a late fee of _____ amount.

I responded in red above. You just have to "remind" her of the consequences. Either she will start "remembering" or she will leave and you can replace with a less forgetful parent. I've had a couple of forgetful parents and they eventually started remembering . Aaaannnd......I hate to admit it, but I would probably be a forgetful parent too . Luckily my dh "reminds" me of everything....he is my missing puzzle piece lovethis.

[CraftyMom]

I agree, she probably doesn't realize these things bother you since nothing was ever said about it. I learned this the hard way. I had a parent like this when I first started daycare and every thing would fester with me until one day I brought it up, in an annoyed manner, and dcm's response was that I never mentioned it so she didn't know. (Which also annoyed me since it is her responsibility to know policies etc). I learned to mention things as they happen and don't let it fester because the parents may not even realize I'm upset (I'm not saying they SHOULDN'T notice, just that they DON'T)

[Sugar Magnolia]

You're right.. and I'm going to do something about her habit of late payments. But I just don't understand how her child isn't a priority!! (when it comes to forgetting lunch, not having time for breakfast, etc.)

I'm sure her child is a priority.....WHEN ON HER TIME OR DIME!

If she was taking her to the park that day......she would have remembered a jacket and winter gear. And packed a lunch.
If she was picking her child up at an after school program that had very very strict late fees, she would be on time.
If she was paying for expensive dance classes where non, payment meant expulsion from the class, she'd pay on time.

Her child is only a priority if her "forgetfulness" has consequences....like being cold, hungry, or getting a bill.

If you supplied an alternate jacket, supplied a lunch and waived fees, she has learned there are no consequences.

I hope the advice you got here helped. I would schedule a conference and help her get her priorities in order. :hug:

[My3cents]

Thank you. I know you're right, she just needs extra reminders and I need to have a backbone and just remind her!.. I just left a message with dcm reminding her that a payment is due today.

I wouldn't remind anyone.......no pay no stay.

late fees. I am not about to go chasing my money. My time is valuable.

I agree with turn her around and have her go get them.......with her sorry I forgot, you give her oh sorry your going to have to take daycare kiddo and go get that- late- late fee due before child can return, hand her a slip with the amount owed. Non payment, sorry you will have to go get that and return and here is a late fee-

you do need a backbone and here is the best place to get one. Be strong!

[nannyde]

She's not "forgetting". It's just not a priority. If you are allowing her to "forget", she has proven she will forget on a daily basis.

Yup

If you told her that she could bring in a green note card that said "free week" every Friday at 7 am and she would get the week free she would be at your door at 6:55 am with green card in hand waiting patiently for you to open up the door and take the card.

She would NEVER forget and she would never be late.

Make it worth her while to do what she is supposed to and STOP helping her.