New DCG and Crying

[Msdunny]

I have a fairly new dcg. She started with me the first of the year, and is 3.5 yrs old. Everyday at drop off, she is clingy with her parents, although more so when dad brings her. She is fine almost literally as soon as her parents walk out the door, although she acts really shy and needy when they are here. I finally got dad to stop sitting down on the couch and hanging out with her at drop off, but today he kneels down and is asking, "what's wrong, pumpkin?" I get his concern, but I keep reminding both parents that she really is fine during the day - running and playing, in the middle of all the action...really fine!

But at nap time...she lies down fine, but then cries for mom until she drops off to sleep, then wets her pants when she wakes up. She is totally potty trained, and the parents seem to be questioning me as to why she has to change her clothes every day. According to them, she never wets her clothes. I am at a loss. I have reminded the dcg to go potty just before she lays down, and I tell her every day to go potty as soon as she wakes up. I just can't decide if she just really isn't adjusting and I am missing something, or what.

Any clues or tips for me? I have done this for years and have never had a child not warm up to me and enjoy coming to my home. Honestly, I am ready to term (not just over this, but there are scheduling issues we are dealing with as well), but I would hate for this little one to have to re-adjust somewhere else.

[daycarediva]

Kids at 3.5 are CRAZY manipulative. Most parents just don't see it. She is doing the whole show for Mom/Dad at drop off because she wants them to stay, wants the attention, would rather be home, etc (and honestly, who can blame her). I would nip it now. Tell dcm/dcd to drop and run with a super quick goodbye, and then text a pic immediately afterwards to send to them until they realize she is fine. I might also give dcg some words. "are you sad because you will miss Daddy?" "Susie misses her Daddy too. Maybe you and Susie could make your mommy and Daddy some pictures over here." all the while moving kid away from parent and waving.

Naptime could be change of nap routine (does she nap at home? Where? when? with whom?) and it IS a time that's slower so it may remind her that "Oh ya, I'm supposed to be missing my parents."

We read Llama llama misses Mama, kids get an extra tuck in, hug and reassurance, but I don't play into it anymore than that.

Also, as far as naptime wetting goes, I had a kid who did it on purpose here because she hated taking naps. Pullup until they are dry two weeks.

[daycarediva]

Oh, and change of routine sometimes leads to regression, potty training accidents could easily be attributed to that!