Not Good Enough....

[daycare]

As some of you know, I run a morning preschool program. In the morning my 3-5 year olds sign in just like their parents. One of my kids who is 3.5 is a VERY smart boy, struggles with writing.

DCD drops off in the morning and every time DCB signs in DCD will say something rude and negative about the sign in like that was a terrible attempt or lousy job. At first I was only hearing the DCD say lousy job, but I did not know what the word LOUSY meant, so I did not say anything. Then I started hearing DCD say terrible, so I looked up lousy to find out it's just as bad.

This DCD has unreal expectations of his kids. I think it is normal of their culture, but I can't stand hearing dad say those things to this kid every morning. When I hear it, I will say, that's ok I like it, it looks great, thinking DCD would catch on, but he does not. DCD is a very serious person, I don't know what else to say to dad other than KNOCK IT OFF that's MEAN......

How would you handle this?

[TwinKristi]

Maybe explain that you have a POSITIVE learning environment and don't allow negativity from or about anyone in your care, parents or not. Also explain that he's "learning" and not going to master something immediately. Most 3yr olds don't know how to write their name very well. Boys especially. I would also explain that encouraging the child goes much further than discouraging their efforts. How sad

[daycarediva]

being negative about his attempts to learn something new, will discourage him from trying to learn anything. I DO NOT allow people to speak that way, kids or adults. I would correct him. "Dcd that was not very nice. Please keep your negative comments to yourself."

[daycare]

I don't know why, but with this dad I have troubled talking to him. I just say good morning and have a nice day every day. Nothing else....

[TwinKristi]

Do you think writing a nicely written letter about why this is detrimental to his child would help?

[kendallina]

I've had a similar problem in the past and just started having the kids sign in at a different time of the day. Not sure if that would work for you, but it's definitely something that you want to keep encouraging the child with and not letting his dad belittle him.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I've had a similar problem in the past and just started having the kids sign in at a different time of the day. Not sure if that would work for you, but it's definitely something that you want to keep encouraging the child with and not letting his dad belittle him.

This is what I would do. I'm sure the child would feel the Dad's judgement (or hear about it later) if he continued signing in with Dad.

[CraftyMom]

I've had a similar problem in the past and just started having the kids sign in at a different time of the day. Not sure if that would work for you, but it's definitely something that you want to keep encouraging the child with and not letting his dad belittle him.

Awesome idea! Wait until dcd leaves then you can praise the child for his efforts without the negativity

[MissAnn]

Kids live up to the labels we give them. DCD you are labeling DCB's handwriting as lousy and that is what he is going to live up to. Notice the awesome B he made.

[daycare]

Awesome idea! Wait until dcd leaves then you can praise the child for his efforts without the negativity

I took this advise and I am not having him sign in until after dad leaves

[daycare]

I took this advise and I am not having him sign in until after dad leaves

funny thing is why couldn't I think of that......

[TheGoodLife]

funny thing is why couldn't I think of that......

Isn't this forum the best- you ladies always have such wonderful ideas :-).

[Blackcat31]

As some of you know, I run a morning preschool program. In the morning my 3-5 year olds sign in just like their parents. One of my kids who is 3.5 is a VERY smart boy, struggles with writing.

DCD drops off in the morning and every time DCB signs in DCD will say something rude and negative about the sign in like that was a terrible attempt or lousy job. At first I was only hearing the DCD say lousy job, but I did not know what the word LOUSY meant, so I did not say anything. Then I started hearing DCD say terrible, so I looked up lousy to find out it's just as bad.

This DCD has unreal expectations of his kids. I think it is normal of their culture, but I can't stand hearing dad say those things to this kid every morning. When I hear it, I will say, that's ok I like it, it looks great, thinking DCD would catch on, but he does not. DCD is a very serious person, I don't know what else to say to dad other than KNOCK IT OFF that's MEAN......

How would you handle this?

Do you schedule regular conferences or meetings with parents to update them of their child's school progress?

If so, I would take that opportunity to talk with the parents about the importance of positive reinforcement and how damaging critical or negative behavior can be on a child learning to master a new skill.

Choosing to just have child sign in after dad leaves fixes the issue for you but what about DCB? I doubt writing messy at sign-in time is the only thing he is criticized for...kwim? Especially if you feel it is cultural.

A little education for parents can go a long ways sometimes.

[Heidi]

Do you schedule regular conferences or meetings with parents to update them of their child's school progress?

If so, I would take that opportunity to talk with the parents about the importance of positive reinforcement and how damaging critical or negative behavior can be on a child learning to master a new skill.

Choosing to just have child sign in after dad leaves fixes the issue for you but what about DCB? I doubt writing messy at sign-in time is the only thing he is criticized for...kwim? Especially if you feel it is cultural.

A little education for parents can go a long ways sometimes.

If you do this, here's an analogy you can use:

DCD, when DCB was learning to walk, did you find it helpful to make him feel bad about falling, or did you help him up and encourage him? Everything else children learn is the same, you see?

[My3cents]

As some of you know, I run a morning preschool program. In the morning my 3-5 year olds sign in just like their parents. One of my kids who is 3.5 is a VERY smart boy, struggles with writing.

DCD drops off in the morning and every time DCB signs in DCD will say something rude and negative about the sign in like that was a terrible attempt or lousy job. At first I was only hearing the DCD say lousy job, but I did not know what the word LOUSY meant, so I did not say anything. Then I started hearing DCD say terrible, so I looked up lousy to find out it's just as bad.

This DCD has unreal expectations of his kids. I think it is normal of their culture, but I can't stand hearing dad say those things to this kid every morning. When I hear it, I will say, that's ok I like it, it looks great, thinking DCD would catch on, but he does not. DCD is a very serious person, I don't know what else to say to dad other than KNOCK IT OFF that's MEAN......

How would you handle this?

I would say in front of the Dad. Daycare boy is learning. Good job DB. 3.5 and writing is wonderful in itself. Many can't at all. I would explain to the Dad its about the process not the results at this point. Dad might think you expect perfect or want perfect. Dads just don't know often- They just don't and many other do know. I would just verbally address it as conversation as it happens. I might even say something like this after he says it is lousy............ No no no........soft voice, That is wonderful DB, you are learning to write your name and it is going to take time to learn. You are off to a great start keep trying. Positive. Dad he is right on track of where he should be, please try to encourage not discourage.

Best-