Behaving Inappropriately--HELP!

[Unregistered]

I think you have already sort of answered this for yourself.

This is WAYYYYY too much liability. Mom needs to take this VERY VERY serious.

You are correct, it doesn't matter where or how she learned it. She's old enough to know better and mom needs to realize how serious this is.

I would explain to mom the seriousness and liability this is in group care, write up a report to have mom sign that on the NEXT offense, it is grounds for immediate termination of care. If I had to terminate I would call my licensor IMMEDIATELY and report this. This mom needs a wake up call. What happens if mom calls the state and tells them he child learned this here and Dhs and he state shows up at YOUR house. Matter of fact, I would call the licensor first thing tomorrow and give them a heads up ASAP. That is top priority. Then I would type up a conference form with mom and write in that the next offense is an immediate termination. Maybe then mom will take it seriously. If not, you have covered your bootie just in case.

I'm not a registered provider yet so I do not have a licensor.

[Happily_wed]

So she has really done it three times in a month. I would term now and send her on her way!

[cheerfuldom]

I'm not a registered provider yet so I do not have a licensor.

you can document by terminating in writing and creating incident reports for the mom to sign so that you have evidence that she was aware of the problem. do you know the old provider? I would call and document if the old provider said this was an issue there. sounds like it was.

I would not give another chance, just term (after documents are in order)

I would also consider a call to CPS if you believe there is an untreated special needs child that is exhibiting sexualized behavior.....that sounds serious.

[Heidi]

now that I know the whole story, I agree that it's a liability issue and that the child needs to either termed or diagnosed and a plan needs to be in place, if you can accommodate it.

[Unregistered]

Update!

So I just wanted to give an update on this matter. I took advice and created an agreement basically pushing the parents to acknowledge inappropriate happenings and our discussions. Well dcm and I had heated conversation on phone tonight where she kept saying the behavior was normal and I was policing and targeting dcg. Long story short....I am looking to fill a vacant spot!

I am not sure if I should expect backlash so can anyone give advice on how to prepare for further issues if they arise? Dcm works in court system and I'm trying to get registered. I know I'm not in the wrong but she could really cause problems for me.

[blandino]

So I just wanted to give an update on this matter. I took advice and created an agreement basically pushing the parents to acknowledge inappropriate happenings and our discussions. Well dcm and I had heated conversation on phone tonight where she kept saying the behavior was normal and I was policing and targeting dcg. Long story short....I am looking to fill a vacant spot!

I am not sure if I should expect backlash so can anyone give advice on how to prepare for further issues if they arise? Dcm works in court system and I'm trying to get registered. I know I'm not in the wrong but she could really cause problems for me.

As far as backlash, simply document the situation. Almost anyone in childcare would agree that the situation was a HUGE liability for you.

We had a similar situation where a DCG6 put her hands down her pants and told another DCB5 to "smell this". And several other instances of humping type behavior. The DCM of the boy, told her son to not play with this little girl anymore, and we also spoke with the DCM of the DCG, and she pulled the same "kids will be kids" card. Umm no - this is not child like behavior - it is a actually adult like behavior. Eventually we termed the family over her daughter's behavior. And no longer take school age kids - not just for issues likes this, but instances of inappropriateness sure do diminish without SA kids.

This DCM was also outraged that the other DCM would tell her child not to play with her daughter. She actually wrote a letter and said "How dare you take this out on a child ?", you mean let the child experience the consequences of their actions - WHAT A CRAZY IDEA !?!?

[Unregistered]

Exactly! Dcm actually told me that 2 counselors told her the behavior was completely normal and she was outraged that I couldn't deal with it. I'm still worked up today over this but this child was a nightmare. I couldn't believe that she stood in my kitchen 2 weeks ago and told me how mad she was when the school wouldn't address the inappropriate behavior that was directed at dcg earlier in the school year. Now it's different because it's you're child that's presenting with this stuff?!?!! The inappropriate behavior was a last straw for me.

[Unregistered]

I'm not a registered provider yet so I do not have a licensor.

That does not matter. If another child, including your own, has an issue because of the behavior, then you could'vr been in hot water liability-wise. Even if you don't have a licensor, there is ALWAYS one that works within your area you can get advice from.

I am very glad you termed, though! Good RIDDANCE to that mom and her antics!

[Nebula]

That behavior is *NOT* normal for a 7 year old. She is old enough to know better, and I would be concerned about possible sexual abuse that may be going on in her life? In my State, that kind of behavior would have to be reported to state.. This child should not be in care if she is going to do that, and it sounds like she needs some serious counseling and behavioral modification therapy.

Sounds like you made the right decision. As far as the possible court "trouble", documentation is your best friend. document everything, because if it wasn't documented- it never happened