Lingering dcd....

[ihop]

Ill start off by saying maybe its all in my head but its starting to get weird.

DCD, my age, married to a woman my age, tons of marital problems, been separated most of their two year marriage. Constantly fighting but currently together. Wife drops off, husband picks up

Since day one dcd has spent an uncomfortable amount of time here when he comes for pick up. In the beginning he would walk around the house letting dcg show him around. I stopped that immediately and used my body language and place in the room to limit him to the entry way. Then he would stand around cleaning up toys. I told him that it was her responsibility to clean up, so he stopped that.
Then I started having her 100% ready to go. Cleaned up, coat on, shoes on, waiting at the door, even started handing him the sign out sheet.
Still he stays. He has basically no interest in her day, asks very few questions. Doesn't talk to dcg much. He just stands there and stares at me. Every few minutes he'll say something or ask something.

Lately he's been hanging around almost twenty minutes. No matter how many times I say "bye" "see you tomorrow" "have a good night" or hold the door open, or walk away to do something. He. Just. Won't. Leave.

And here's the kicker. About once a week dbf is home from work when he comes for pick up and dcd CANNOT LEAVE FAST ENOUGH!!! He's in out and on his way in under a minute.
Yesterday he was here fifteen minutes and honestly paid so little attention to his daughter that she left with her coat undone and no hood up and its 20degrees here.

Its soooooo weird. Dbf said to tell him to knock it off but I don't want to be misreading what's going on and end up losing the income.

Any suggestions or similar experience? Wwyd?

[NeedaVaca]

Just tell him it's time to go, you need to finish up some things, move on to your next project or start dinner? I don't allow lingering...I have my kids dressed and ready to go when the parents arrive, I just hand parents their daily activity sheet and say see you tomorrow. I think if you do that and stand right in front of the door you would be good. If it's not working meet him at the door and hand her off without even letting him come inside!

[Kabob]

Ill start off by saying maybe its all in my head but its starting to get weird.

DCD, my age, married to a woman my age, tons of marital problems, been separated most of their two year marriage. Constantly fighting but currently together. Wife drops off, husband picks up

Since day one dcd has spent an uncomfortable amount of time here when he comes for pick up. In the beginning he would walk around the house letting dcg show him around. I stopped that immediately and used my body language and place in the room to limit him to the entry way. Then he would stand around cleaning up toys. I told him that it was her responsibility to clean up, so he stopped that.
Then I started having her 100% ready to go. Cleaned up, coat on, shoes on, waiting at the door, even started handing him the sign out sheet.
Still he stays. He has basically no interest in her day, asks very few questions. Doesn't talk to dcg much. He just stands there and stares at me. Every few minutes he'll say something or ask something.

Lately he's been hanging around almost twenty minutes. No matter how many times I say "bye" "see you tomorrow" "have a good night" or hold the door open, or walk away to do something. He. Just. Won't. Leave.

And here's the kicker. About once a week dbf is home from work when he comes for pick up and dcd CANNOT LEAVE FAST ENOUGH!!! He's in out and on his way in under a minute.
Yesterday he was here fifteen minutes and honestly paid so little attention to his daughter that she left with her coat undone and no hood up and its 20degrees here.

Its soooooo weird. Dbf said to tell him to knock it off but I don't want to be misreading what's going on and end up losing the income.

Any suggestions or similar experience? Wwyd?

I don't have any experience with that (CREEPY!) but I do have a late pick up fee....as in if they are not out the door on time then they get charged the fee. I also would try nicely reminding him to leave (i.e, "have a nice night! goodbye dck!") and then follow up with a blunt conversation if that doesn't work.

I did have a dcm linger at drop off in the past but it didn't stop until I point blank said "Dcm, while I love your company and chatting with you, I must stick to my job duties and ensure I am ready for the day as well as give incoming children the proper supervision and attention. I can't do that if you're here. Please limit drop off to less than 5 minutes."

Maybe just tell him that pick ups are very busy and confidentiality must also be maintained for the other children and it is important to your family to end the day on time.

[sharlan]

Open the door and hand him the child. Do not let him in the house.

There is no way that I would let him in the house and linger if he made me uncomfortable.

[craftymissbeth]

Does he sign out as soon as he gets there or after he's been lingering?

Maybe some options:

1) have dcg ready and have him sign out as soon as he gets there. Let him know that children who are not signed in cannot be on the premises.

2) have him sign out when they are heading out the door and be strict with late fees.

[craftymissbeth]

Open the door and hand him the child. Do not let him in the house.

There is no way that I would let him in the house and linger if he made me uncomfortable.

Best option, IMO.

[LadyPearl]

Creepy!! Do you think it's because he's interested in you or is that his general personality? I would try to have her ready quick enough so that I could meet him before he gets to the door. It seems as though many adults do not pick up on subtle cues. I have been keeping my door locked at drop-off and pick-up times to force them to knock instead of walk right in but after 2 weeks they are still wiggling the door knob first! It's my house before it is your daycare....knock on the $&%*ing door!

[JenNJ]

"Dcd, in order for adults to be in the daycare, they must be registered at this address with the proper background checks. Parents and designated emergency pick ups are only allowed to pick up the children, not linger around the home. It's against regulations. I will have dcg ready for you each day and you just need to sign the sheet and then you can both be on your way. Thanks for your understanding!"