Why Do They Do This To Me!!!

[Kcole1075]

I have one family where dcm or dcd keep making promises to their kids but the promises aren't something they atre going to do ITS SOMETHING I AM GOING TO DO!!!
These parents have my schedule so they should see it is library day. But their 5 year old has told me all morning they promised him i would take them to the park. They have done this before promising specific snacks or lunches, that certain kids would be here (his friend is a part timer and only comes m-w but they "promised" ) or activties. I asked mom about it the first time it happened and she admitted " yea i told him that you would be going to the park" . I asked her to make sure she looks at the schedule before telling him what we doing. I keep having this conversation with her .

And i have to be the bad guy and tell them no thats not what we are doing/ eating today. It is really annoying!!! By way they are not new kids and i have my schedule for about 2 months.

[itlw8]

Ask her what you are you supposed to say when the child says Mom said so

Sorry your mom made a mistake
Sorry your mom lied to you
Sorry tell your mom to look at the schedual first

While I doubt I would do it it would be tempting to say sorry mom lied to you.

[Annalee]

I have one family where dcm or dcd keep making promises to their kids but the promises aren't something they atre going to do ITS SOMETHING I AM GOING TO DO!!!
These parents have my schedule so they should see it is library day. But their 5 year old has told me all morning they promised him i would take them to the park. They have done this before promising specific snacks or lunches, that certain kids would be here (his friend is a part timer and only comes m-w but they "promised" ) or activties. I asked mom about it the first time it happened and she admitted " yea i told him that you would be going to the park" . I asked her to make sure she looks at the schedule before telling him what we doing. I keep having this conversation with her .

And i have to be the bad guy and tell them no thats not what we are doing/ eating today. It is really annoying!!! By way they are not new kids and i have my schedule for about 2 months.

That is really annoying, too. I have a 3 yr old that is always telling me what "his momma said I should do". He told me one time that his mom said "if I was a good dc person, I would let him play outside all day!". I confronted the mom but, of course, she denied saying that. We change up the room including seating at the table with new nametags monthly and he told me upon seeing his new seat this month that "his mom didn't think that seat would be a good idea for him"....

[Annalee]

Ask her what you are you supposed to say when the child says Mom said so

Sorry your mom made a mistake
Sorry your mom lied to you
Sorry tell your mom to look at the schedual first

While I doubt I would do it it would be tempting to say sorry mom lied to you.

I told my dcb that this was MY daycare and his mom could not tell me what to do. I am sure he told her that, too. ::

[itlw8]

I would say dcm when you keep promising things that will not happen and I say sorry You mom was mistaken the child learns not to believe you and dcd.

It is important for children to be able to trust their parents and not think f them as liers.

[JoseyJo]

I told my dcb that this was MY daycare and his mom could not tell me what to do. I am sure he told her that, too. ::

LOL! I have done this too :: Mostly when I thought the child was fibbing about his mom telling him though. It seems like a lot of 3 yos go through a stage where they try to get you to do what they want by just telling you "their mom said"

If the mom WAS really saying those things I would be LIVID! I would ask her to stop first (which it sounds like you already have) Then I would probably go the passive-aggressive route and say "It just breaks my heart to see little johnny SO upset that we don't do what you have promised we will do that day, but I can't just do whatever you have said because then the other littles will be upset! Do you need another copy of the schedule? Johnny has been SO sad a couple of times that I wasn't able to do what you had promised...."

[Unregistered]

I would tell him Mom said that she is taking him to the park when she picks him up!
And then remind him that Mom is going to take him when Mom is there too.

[My3cents]

I have a kid that tells me in front of Mom what we are going to do. Puts me in a hard place to say No to something. I like free play with the toys that are out, not taking out something I might take out later to play. I feel like this kid sets me up in front of the mom to do whatever this kid wants to do. Sometimes I am good at saying something and other times not.

Any ideas on this-

[Luna]

I have a kid that tells me in front of Mom what we are going to do. Puts me in a hard place to say No to something. I like free play with the toys that are out, not taking out something I might take out later to play. I feel like this kid sets me up in front of the mom to do whatever this kid wants to do. Sometimes I am good at saying something and other times not.

Any ideas on this-

The good old "We'll see".

[Blackcat31]

I have a kid that tells me in front of Mom what we are going to do. Puts me in a hard place to say No to something. I like free play with the toys that are out, not taking out something I might take out later to play. I feel like this kid sets me up in front of the mom to do whatever this kid wants to do. Sometimes I am good at saying something and other times not.

Any ideas on this-

I have this EXACT scenario happen from time to time. My standard reply is:

"DCB, I would LOVE to follow your plan for the day, but I have already planned the activities for the day. Maybe when you grow up, you'll own your own business and get to make the rules too!"

Then smile really big ...look at mom and say "He will definitely be a leader when he grows up."

Then leave it be.

Keep it light and happy.

I refuse to fall prey to a "set up" like that.


As for the OP..... I would say something about this issue DIRECTLY to mom/dad at pick up IN FRONT of the child so this can be worked out now and not allowed to continue.

I would NOT be happy if I found out the parent really was making promises to their child about MY day.

[Annalee]

I have a kid that tells me in front of Mom what we are going to do. Puts me in a hard place to say No to something. I like free play with the toys that are out, not taking out something I might take out later to play. I feel like this kid sets me up in front of the mom to do whatever this kid wants to do. Sometimes I am good at saying something and other times not.

Any ideas on this-

Years past, I probably would not have said anything either. BUT this little dcb has tried to take things out of places where materials are stored upon arrival and departure so I said "johnny, those are materials we trade out with and they are not out for play at this time, put them back". I did get funny looks from his mom when "johnny" did what I said, but kids today just need some boundaries and respect for other persons things. If more parents would give children expectations with accountability/responsibility, providers' jobs would be much easier. Times have changed drastically from when I started FCC in the early 90's.

[lovemykidstoo]

Tell little Johnny that momma is taking him McDonald's or Chuck E Cheeze's when she picks him up. hahaha

[Annalee]

Tell little Johnny that momma is taking him McDonald's or Chuck E Cheeze's when she picks him up. hahaha

And then to Walmart to get ANY TOY HE WANTS!!!!!!!::

[Blackcat31]

Years past, I probably would not have said anything either. BUT this little dcb has tried to take things out of places where materials are stored upon arrival and departure so I said "johnny, those are materials we trade out with and they are not out for play at this time, put them back". I did get funny looks from his mom when "johnny" did what I said, but kids today just need some boundaries and respect for other persons things. If more parents would give children expectations with accountability/responsibility, providers' jobs would be much easier. Times have changed drastically from when I started FCC in the early 90's.

lovethis lovethis

I could NOT agree more!

IMHO, that is the downfall of civilization.

[mountainside13]

Tell little Johnny that momma is taking him McDonald's or Chuck E Cheeze's when she picks him up. hahaha

Haha!!