Better Not Be A Lie!

[melilley]

I just had one of my dcm's call to tell me that her older ds is in the hospital because he had a febrile seizure about an hour and a half ago. I have his younger brother here today (I don't take care of the older brother here anymore) who looks under the weather and is tired, but doesn't have a temp. and is eating. He is coughing a lot and I had to give him a treatment. And when dcd dropped off he said dcb had a rough night (he ALWAYS says this though). I hope the older brother doesn't have something that my dcb could have that we don't know about yet!

But this is also my munchausen mother. She has lied about dcb being in the hospital, just a few weeks ago-not to me, but dcb was sick and I called dcm's job and they said she was at the hospital-with dcb who was here with me! Then he was actually so sick he ended up in the hospital. I hope she's not lying about this! She also says her kids have everything under the sun, yet I have yet to see what she's talking about for most matters and she always exaggerates everything and asks if I notice things about dcb, which I never do! I love the older child, he went here for a while before school started and was one of my fav's!

[butterfly]

How are you still putting up with this woman's drama? I'd have to call it quits with this family. I can not tolerate dishonesty.

[melilley]

How are you still putting up with this woman's drama? I'd have to call it quits with this family. I can not tolerate dishonesty.

I don't know! I ask myself this all the time. And I'm not exaggerating on her behavior or trying to be dramatic about it either! Yesterday she even ask me how the roads were (big storm) and I told her mine was terrible so she said she would tell her husband that she got stuck and wouldn't be able to bring dcb!

I guess I figure it's not really my business, most of her lies were to other people. But who knows when she has lied to me. Plus, whenever she says something about the kids, I listen and watch for signs/symptoms just in case. I really really think that she has doctor's fooled on some things. One or both sons have had or had allergies to gluten, red dye, restless leg syndrome, heart murmers (sp?), night terrors, asthma (this one I believe), autism ( I see NO signs, though I'm not an expert), the list goes on and on... I just don't get it.

Sorry to go on and on myself...

[cheerfuldom]

really if she is lying repeatedly about health issues and hospitalizations, I would start considering a CPS call. This whole scenario has me concerned about this mom.....this behavior is not normal at all.

[melilley]

really if she is lying repeatedly about health issues and hospitalizations, I would start considering a CPS call. This whole scenario has me concerned about this mom.....this behavior is not normal at all.

I go back and forth on what to do with this one! On one hand I feel like it's none of my business, she does provide a Dr. note for some of it, like the gluten allergy(actually it says intolerance, but mom says it like they will die if they eat it) and asthma stuff, and does take them to the doctors and also has people come to her home to observe the older boy (not sure what comes of that) so you would thing someone has caught on. Can she be that good? Isn't that what munchausen is? I'll have to look more into it.

Or maybe it's all true.?

What would CPS do?

I've never dealt with anyone like this before.

[Sugar Magnolia]

Munchausen by proxy is when people do things to their child on purpose so they become ill. This mom is assuredly a habitual liar, attention seeker and is a hypochondriac. But unless she is doing things like giving them small doses of poison so they need to be rushed to the hospital, its not munchausen. That is a very serious psycologocal disorder where parents harm their children in serious ways to garner sympathy for themselves. It usually involves poisons, overdosing, etc.

Anyways, this mom has lying issues and I hope she stops doing this! Especially about illnesses! NOT COOL, MOM! You don't suspect she is harming them on purpose do you?

[melilley]

Munchausen is when people do things to their child on purpose so they become ill. This mom is assuredly a habitual liar, attention seeker and has a hypochondriac. But unless she is doing things like giving them small doses of poison so they need to be rushed to the hospital, its not munchausen. That is a very serious psycologocal disorder where parents harm their children in serious ways to garner sympathy for themselves. It usually involves poisons, overdosing, etc.

Anyways, this mom has lying issues and I hope she stops doing this! Especially about illnesses! NOT COOL, MOM! You don't suspect she is harming them on purpose do you?

That's what I thought munchausen is. I don't think she has that, but I do think she makes things up to make them sound like they have things.

In all honesty, I don't think she is harming them on purpose, but I do think she makes up symptoms for some things. I think she may like all the attention or something. Plus a few of the things she says they have are the "trend" if that makes sense. For instance, the gluten allergy, I accidentally gave dcb some noodles, bad on my part, but an honest mistake and not one word was said about him having any type of reaction (I forgot to tell mom and dad..) and she says the older one gets hyper if he has it.?

She has however, mentioned giving them Benadryl at home to "calm" the older son down before. I've never seen him as she calls "hyper", but to me, it's normal 3 yr. old behavior!

[Sugar Magnolia]

That's what I thought munchausen is. I don't think she has that, but I do think she makes things up to make them sound like they have things.

In all honesty, I don't think she is harming them on purpose, but I do think she makes up symptoms for some things. I think she may like all the attention or something. Plus a few of the things she says they have are the "trend" if that makes sense. For instance, the gluten allergy, I accidentally gave dcb some noodles, bad on my part, but an honest mistake and not one word was said about him having any type of reaction (I forgot to tell mom and dad..) and she says the older one gets hyper if he has it.?

She has however, mentioned giving them Benadryl at home to "calm" the older son down before. I've never seen him as she calls "hyper", but to me, it's normal 3 yr. old behavior!

Yeah, my diagnosis of this mom is Drama Queenitis.She fits the bill by wanting sympathy and lying about medical problems. Actual munchausen would be if she was a knowingly healthy person herself who was constantly seeking medical treatments for symptoms that don't exist. Munchausen by proxy is doing this to a child and is major serious abuse.
Sounds like she needs a good old fashioned "calling out" and a reality check.
Personally, I would never use the "my kid is super sick" excuse to get out of anything, as an excuse, whatever, cuz karma is a &itch. Cry wolf syndrome, yuck.
I hope that Lil guy is ok.

[melilley]

Yeah, my diagnosis of this mom is Drama Queenitis.She fits the bill by wanting sympathy and lying about medical problems. Actual munchausen would be if she was a knowingly healthy person herself who was constantly seeking medical treatments for symptoms that don't exist. Munchausen by proxy is doing this to a child and is major serious abuse.
Sounds like she needs a good old fashioned "calling out" and a reality check.
Personally, I would never use the "my kid is super sick" excuse to get out of anything, as an excuse, whatever, cuz karma is a &itch. Cry wolf syndrome, yuck.
I hope that Lil guy is ok.

Yes, Karma ia a Bi***! Especially after her lying about the hospital and then he really had to go. And when I was younger, I lied to my work about being sick so I could go home and low and behold, I go the flu that night! (shhh don't tell anyone) I never lied about being sick again!!!!

[Blackcat31]

I go back and forth on what to do with this one! On one hand I feel like it's

Or maybe it's all true.?

What would CPS do?

I've never dealt with anyone like this before.

CPS will document. Who knows if your report is or isn't the missing piece to the puzzle you know what I mean?

Sometimes the little things add up to a big thing and since we, as providers only see bits and pieces of stuff, you have to just be diligent about documenting everything. Even if it isn't a big thing.

I would also consider reporting your "unease" about the whole situation to your licensor. She'll document it too.

If anything does ever happen, you have proof of your past concern and they (CPS) may just get that missing piece they need to do something about it.

[daycarediva]

I would type up a generic 'health issue' type statement, have her write the concerns down, and sign and date it. EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. At least just to cover your butt.

If she is TRULY like this, she may harm her own children so that they show symptoms. When I was in high school, another student's Mom was arrested for poisoning her daughters food. She said she had multiple allergies and intolerances and wouldn't allow her to eat anything or anywhere food wasn't prepared by Mom. S C A R Y.

[melilley]

Turns out the older child was in the hospital and has a UTI.
But I had to send home dcb because he has a temp.! I have a feeling he was a dope and drop.

[melilley]

CPS will document. Who knows if your report is or isn't the missing piece to the puzzle you know what I mean?

Sometimes the little things add up to a big thing and since we, as providers only see bits and pieces of stuff, you have to just be diligent about documenting everything. Even if it isn't a big thing.

I would also consider reporting your "unease" about the whole situation to your licensor. She'll document it too.

If anything does ever happen, you have proof of your past concern and they (CPS) may just get that missing piece they need to do something about it.

Totally makes sense!

[melilley]

I would type up a generic 'health issue' type statement, have her write the concerns down, and sign and date it. EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. At least just to cover your butt.

If she is TRULY like this, she may harm her own children so that they show symptoms. When I was in high school, another student's Mom was arrested for poisoning her daughters food. She said she had multiple allergies and intolerances and wouldn't allow her to eat anything or anywhere food wasn't prepared by Mom. S C A R Y.

Wow! That is scary!