Opinions On My Ad Please

[kelsey's kids]

http://twinfalls.craigslist.org/kid/4237780905.html

[coolconfidentme]

I like it what you say about your home, but I wouldn't put down a center. Personally, I steer clear of company that uses negatively toward the competition regardless of the service they truly offer.

[Scout]

I noticed a beginning of a sentenc that was not capitalized and also a spelling error but, now I cant remember!

[Laurel]

I wouldn't say anything about centers either.

Also, there are spelling errors, words that should be capitalized that aren't, etc. I would check that over especially since you are advertising that you do preschool.

Laurel

[MotherNature]

There are a lot of spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors I would fix. You want to look as professional as possible, so I'd work on those. I agree w/ the PP-highlight the positive. DO NOT put anything negative in your ad.

[spinnymarie]

I agree, check again for spelling and punctuation. I can help if you need it.
I'd also leave out the center part, as other said, and I'd try to shorten it up if possible.

[kelsey's kids]

I sent you a friend request as I would love your help. I have never been very good and Grammer and not sure where to go about making it shorter