toy guns

[hope]

When I was a new parent I decided that I would not allow my children to play with toy guns. My 1st child was a girl and had no interest. My 2nd was a boy and now I see things differently. My original decision was not made bc I dislike guns. I didn't want DS learning about the violence in guns. So as much as I avoided them he found a way to play "guns". He used his hands or any object that was long to replicate. So I gave in and had a talk with him. I explained that guns are very dangerous and only soldiers and hunters should use them. He is not allowed to have any toy guns out while dcks are here. He is 4 and sometimes asks for his guns while the kids are here and I remind him of our rule.
Dcm came to me and said that her 2 yr old pointed to something and called it a gun. She was upset bc she has never used that word before. I was put on the spot. I told her DS has them as toys and he is not taking them out in front of her but I'm sure she has heard him or seen him use his hands or to roll as one. Now I feel bad. I would love a world with out our children knowing of these things but this is reality. How do you deal with toy guns and swords? Is there something I could do with DS or is this just boys play?

[daycarediva]

I just read a good article about this subject, wish I could find it. I do not allow them in daycare or super hero play, or wrestling, as my group cannot handle it and it becomes to rough/violent.

Just like any other type of play, there is a place for this. Play is a child's way of dealing with what he has seen/heard.

My own children have toy guns, and they play traditional cop/robber roles with them usually or ds sets up targets to shoot with nerf guns. Not allowed during dc hours, of course.

ALL of my dcks come in knowing what guns are and it is a challenge daily to redirect it when they turn everything into a weapon. Some of the shows they watch (power rangers, for example) is very violent, and that play is reenacted here constantly.

I think it's definitely exploratory and more about imagination than actual violence.

[Blackcat31]

I DO allow gun play. With limitations of course. I believe the internal struggle between good and evil is the basis for most imaginative play. Often times this includes gun play, swords and battling those make believe "bad guys".

I don't see this as inappropriate at all but rather as very appropriate and an excellent opportunity to teach children about the good and bad aspects of these things.

It doesn't have to include allowing kids to be violent or hurtful to others.

I just think education has it's place in this more than outright banning.

There are tons of articles supporting positive education approaches that could be helpful in navigating through this with your son and with daycare kids.

Here an article I came across via a quick Google search.

http://www.pbs.org/parents/raisingboys/aggression05.html

“The shooting is more about power, fantasy and imagination—not killing and death.”

[hope]

My DS plays with nerf guns as well after daycare hours. I really don't see any issue in him playing with guns. I will however have to keep a more watchful eye on his play when dcks are here to make sure there is no mention of guns. I do find it unrealistic for dcm to expect dcg to never hear the word gun. I can try to tell ds not to say that word around younger ones I guess. In a home daycare ages range from infant to 5 here. Topics come up that are not appropriate for every age so sometimes I need to scramble to give an answer to the older ones while keeping it light for the younger ones. Children talk about death when their dog passes, sickness when grandparents have terminal illness, bad guys when we talk about strangers and yes even guns.

[Maria2013]

violence and guns are everywhere, it's impossible to raise a child totally unaware of them, I think I'd rather educate them in the matter

I do not allow violence play in daycare to prepare the kids for when they'll go to school where the "0 tolerance" awaits them

[Scout]

I would not allow dck's to play with them either and would also follow your own rules. I too, thought I would not allow gun play but, in all truthfullness, now as a mom of 2 boys, who are ALL boy, I have changed my tune. And this change is very recent, in that I just bought my 2yo playmobil cowboys and indians for Christmas! I will teach them that toy guns are very different than real guns and their Christmas gifts are not to be shared with dck's. I think your mom is crazy to be upset by this. Does she really think her dd will be able to go through life without knowing what a gun is? Ugh. I personally hate them and would never own one but, for toys I am ok with it now, as long as they are used in an appropriate manner. I'd rather have that than stick play. As Blackcat showed us once, and this is my favorite

[Soccermom]

Guns are a part of life and boys seem to be instinctively drawn to them for some reason.

I removed all the guns from daycare just because the boys would chase the girls with them pretending the girls were deer. The girls would run squealing and come running to tattle to me.

But they will still pick up sticks outside and use them a guns. I had a DCB using a marker as a gun yesterday while they were playing Grinch (He was a police officer who was putting the Grinch in jail).

I think if we make a big deal about guns, the kids will be that much more curious about their mystery.

The best way to deal with it is to tell kids to never point a gun at someone and to know the difference between play guns and real guns. (I think most kids are smart enough to know the difference)

Does this DCM really think she can shelter her DD from life? Most 2 year olds know what guns are.

[hope]

This dcm is very difficult. After telling her that yes we do have toy guns here but no they are not in use during daycare hours and I will monitor Ds's actions more closely. ...She still continued to say "but I never use that word. I don't want her knowing this word". I feel bad but I don't like my kids thinking about death but every time they watch a Disney movie a character dies. It's part of life and I can only shelter so much. She is trying to make me feel so bad about this. She also told me that she has never used the word bad in front of dcg. What??????? I never tell children they are bad. I have talked about bad behavior and making good choices. But dcg is 2. She is an angle with me. Dcg told her she was a bad mommy and again she asked where she would learn that. Ugh, I feel like dcm is trying to start drama and trying to find something wrong when this is all just part of life.

[sharlan]

I DO allow gun play. With limitations of course. I believe the internal struggle between good and evil is the basis for most imaginative play. Often times this includes gun play, swords and battling those make believe "bad guys".

I don't see this as inappropriate at all but rather as very appropriate and an excellent opportunity to teach children about the good and bad aspects of these things.

It doesn't have to include allowing kids to be violent or hurtful to others.

I just think education has it's place in this more than outright banning.

There are tons of articles supporting positive education approaches that could be helpful in navigating through this with your son and with daycare kids.

Here an article I came across via a quick Google search.

http://www.pbs.org/parents/raisingboys/aggression05.html

“The shooting is more about power, fantasy and imagination—not killing and death.”

I agree with this.

Having two grandsons, we've had guns in the past. Right now we don't have any as I just tossed the last two because they were broken. during the summer, we have quite a few water guns, especially in the pool.

[sharlan]

This dcm is very difficult. After telling her that yes we do have toy guns here but no they are not in use during daycare hours and I will monitor Ds's actions more closely. ...She still continued to say "but I never use that word. I don't want her knowing this word". I feel bad but I don't like my kids thinking about death but every time they watch a Disney movie a character dies. It's part of life and I can only shelter so much. She is trying to make me feel so bad about this. She also told me that she has never used the word bad in front of dcg. What??????? I never tell children they are bad. I have talked about bad behavior and making good choices. But dcg is 2. She is an angle with me. Dcg told her she was a bad mommy and again she asked where she would learn that. Ugh, I feel like dcm is trying to start drama and trying to find something wrong when this is all just part of life.

IMHO, this mommy needs to join the real world. My 2 yo just started saying the word bad and I don't use it here, either.