Daycare Mom Breastfeeding At Your Daycare Home?

[MARSTELAC]

Have any of you had a mom bf at your daycare home? I have a mom that wanted to nurse her kid here. I have limited space and she wanted to go in my bedroom. I let her (repeatedly). My husband was ticked off that I let her do it. Our house is small and really has no private space other than the bathroom. She is expecting child number two. I don't want this to come up again but know it will. What are your experiences?

[MG&Lsmom]

I don't know what others do and don't have that problem myself. But when my kids were in a home daycare I always nursed my baby at daycare. At drop off and pick up. She refused bottles all day and needed to be fed. But she had a space where I could do it. It wasn't private, but segregated from the other kids. Also, everyone in her care had been there a long time. We were like a very large family and not one of the parents minded if I was breastfeeding in the same room as long as I was discreet. But given that you don't have the room and your bedroom is the only place, I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with that either. There are certain places that need to be private/off limits. Is there any other place for her?

[Blackcat31]

Wow! How old is this child she is bf? If she is expecting #2 than I would think the older one would use a sippy or a bottle. I would possibly explain that it is difficult to do what she is asking and she should try to bring frozen or pumped breast milk for you to serve/feed the child. Where do you live? Can't she just hang outside on the porch or in her car?!?!? I am TOTALLY kidding about that! Wish I had some useful advice. It sounds like a tough call either way. I've had bf babies, but mom's always pumped and brought frozen or ready to eat milk for the babies. Good luck!
As far as using your bedroom, I would just say it is a habit you would rather not get into and leave it at that. You shouldn't have to explain not wanting to loan out your personal space.

[BentleysBands]

i have had bf babies and several moms feed here. normally at pickups when they all seem to want to 'hang out ' ...can be irritating but being an extended breastfeeding mother at one time, i understand. theres no where for the moms to go here but in the living room/daycare area. moms just drape with a blanket.
i have no issues w/it really ...but i wouldn't ever let a parent in my bedroom. maybe tell her she needs to drape w/a blanket or just wait

[momma2girls]

I have had several mothers who breastfed their babies, but they did it at home before leaving in the am. I have never had anyone ask if they could stay here and do it. I probably would have to say no, I have children that need to use that bathroom, if she did it in there, I am not willing to give her my bedroom, for her nursing, and I am sure not going to have her do it on my couch, right by the front door, so everyone coming in could see her. I am sorry, but I would have to tell them no. If another mother knew you were allowing her to do this, she might ask you as well. Then she is having another baby, so she will be doing the same thing at that time. THis might be a great idea, tell her after the first of the yr. you cannot allow anyone to nurse here at daycare any longer. Tell her she needs to nurse at home, before arriving for the day. Tell her you really do not have the room, for her, and you need to use the bathroom, etc....

[Jewels]

Wow I see no problem with it at all, I could see not wanting her in your room, I have let a couple mothers go and rock in my room, I have a very large room, and everyone goes in there, so its no problem for me, i tell my parents of babies, that they are more than welsome to come during lunch if they are able to nurse their babies, nursing is a very close thing that only she can do, and if she can get in a nurse, so she doesn't have to pump I understand, and at the end of the day she might be so engorged and in pain, and in need of the relief, If I were a breastfeeding mother with a baby in daycare although I wouldnt make it a point to nurse at daycare, it would always be at home, but if I really needed to because I was in pain or the baby was very hungry when I got there, I would expect it to be a BF friendly environment, and I think if I was told that I couldnt because they were grossed out or something by it, I would look elsewhere for care.

[laundryduchess@yahoo.com]

Id have her sit right on the couch in the living room if she wanted to do it there, or offer up a confy chair outside on a nice summer day . Or anywhere really,.. but,.. Im open about it and pro public nursing, (covered, Im not talking about letting things all hang out, ) Ive nursed mine in the playroom in a room full of kids and noone usually knew,...

[SilverSabre25]

Being an extended nursing mama myself (3 yo still nurses and I'm also expecting number 2 now ), I'm a bit torn on this one. How old is the kid in question?

If you're not a nursing mama yourself I guess I can see where this would look very strange to you and/or your DH and make you uncomfortable, especially if you don't have many spaces for the mom to do it in. We have a rocking chair in my DD's room and my bfing mamas have always been free to go in there and nurse their babes in the afternoon before they leave or nurse them in the rocker in the playroom. They never have, though. If the babe still nurses frequently throughout the day and night, then by the time mom gets off work she's probably pretty sore and really wanting and NEEDING to have some nursing before heading home.

At the same time, if you don't really have anywhere for her to do it, I can see asking her not to. That probably wouldn't offend me much if someone had asked me to do that.

And like laundryduchess, I'm very pro nursing, nursing in public, and I will most definitely be nursing my new peanut out in the open all the time. But lots of other parents are not that comfortable.

[DaycareMama]

I would explain to her that you cant keep lending out your bedroom and you understand decent private space is limited. Maybe this sounds nuts but I would offer put a small rocking chair (that could easily be moved when not in use) maybe in a hallway. It wouldnt take much to hang a curtain rod and curtain so she can pull it closed. People would know if the curtain is closed she's using the space. At the very least she knows you are trying to meet and respect her needs. If she doesnt like it.... oh well you tried.
Being an extended bf mom myself (dd hated bottles) I would use the space and be happy that you were providing me a private spot regardless if it was just a closed off hallway.
Good luck!

[momofboys]

I was a BF mom with all 3 of my boys & with my youngest I nursed him 15 months so I can understand her desire to do so. However, as a in-home provider to me it would be a hassle b/c now I have to entertain her older child while mom is in the house. I would not like that. Does the mom live far from your home? Is she nursing for a long timeframe? If it was just a short timeframe it would be okay but I could easily see it getting dragged out to the point that the mom could be in your home 15-20 min & then have to get her child out too. I would not like it! I also don't have a large home so she would have to nurse in our living room (prime play are for the kids). If it was short & she did not waste time it might be okay. No way would I let her nurse in my bedroom.

[momma2girls]

I was a BF mom with all 3 of my boys & with my youngest I nursed him 15 months so I can understand her desire to do so. However, as a in-home provider to me it would be a hassle b/c now I have to entertain her older child while mom is in the house. I would not like that. Does the mom live far from your home? Is she nursing for a long timeframe? If it was just a short timeframe it would be okay but I could easily see it getting dragged out to the point that the mom could be in your home 15-20 min & then have to get her child out too. I would not like it! I also don't have a large home so she would have to nurse in our living room (prime play are for the kids). If it was short & she did not waste time it might be okay. No way would I let her nurse in my bedroom.

I agree, and what if you had 3 or 4 moms wanting to breastfeed at the same time? It could happen- it would be a total disruption for yourself and other daycare children at daycare!!

[daysofelijah]

The one mom I have that bf will once in a while bf the baby when she picks the kids up if the 3yo isn't ready to go. She just nurses discreetly while the kids play. I have no problem with it. I nursed all my kids in front of the daycare kids for 1-2 years each.

Now if she wanted to come in the middle of the day and nurse I wouldn't have liked that. I have never had anyone ask yet luckily. Not that I would mind the nursing part, just the interruption in the day would be too much for me to deal with.

[DancingQueen]

I am sure not going to have her do it on my couch, right by the front door, so everyone coming in could see her.

Would it be OK if she wanted to feed her a bottle right there on your couch where everyone coming in could see her?


I would NOT let her have my bedroom. But I'd absolutely let her nurse. I've bf. I've had a bf baby that refused a bottle and would wait all day to be nursed. I would "top her off" as I dropped off and never had anyone give me any issue and when I picked up occasionally I'd feed her before I left - but knowing that dc providers want to move on with their evening schedule I sometimes did it in the car in her driveway or rushed home since I didn't live far.

[mac60]

I have had several mothers who breastfed their babies, but they did it at home before leaving in the am. I have never had anyone ask if they could stay here and do it. I probably would have to say no, I have children that need to use that bathroom, if she did it in there, I am not willing to give her my bedroom, for her nursing, and I am sure not going to have her do it on my couch, right by the front door, so everyone coming in could see her. I am sorry, but I would have to tell them no. If another mother knew you were allowing her to do this, she might ask you as well. Then she is having another baby, so she will be doing the same thing at that time. THis might be a great idea, tell her after the first of the yr. you cannot allow anyone to nurse here at daycare any longer. Tell her she needs to nurse at home, before arriving for the day. Tell her you really do not have the room, for her, and you need to use the bathroom, etc....

I totally agree. There is no reason why the baby can't be fed at home before they leave. If there is a problem with baby not taking bottles well, maybe she should switch totally to bottles. It totally amazes me the expectations of some parents. I did have a mom once call and say she forgot her pump at work and of coarse I let her come in and sit....but it wasn't very often that it happened.

[DBug]

I'm definitely pro-nursing here! The one mom that I have had nurse her baby here, does it in the kitchen at the kitchen table without a blanket. Thing is, she has to recognize the fact that my husband or sons could walk in at any time, and she's okay with that. They all know to avert their eyes, whether there's a blanket covering the baby or not. I have taught my kids to be extremely modest, but at the same time, a mama HAS to feed her baby, and they get that it's a natural function that doesn't necessarily demand privacy (unlike "other" natural functions ).

I don't have the space for an extra room or private area just for nursing either. If it were me nursing, I'd just sit down on the playroom floor, and if other moms are willing to do that, more power to them!

I'd say that if this mom wants to bf her new baby at daycare, she should also be okay with doing it around others. You could keep a blanket handy in case she's forgotten hers, but I don't think you should be giving up your bedroom for her. With this being the second child, she'll need to be able to bf and watch her older one at the same time anyway, especially if they're out in public. And it'll be a great education for the other dc littles too! If anywhere should be bf-friendly, it should be a place that takes care of babies, imho.