What Do You Do When...

[JoseyJo]

We had an interview this evening for a 3yo and 4 yo sibling pair. I spent the interview talking to dcm and dcgpa and even though there were a few things dcb is "full of energy" and "excitable", they need open to close care and dcg has many many allergies) it seemed like it would be workable , but hubby (dcpartner) spent the interview w/ the children and our other dcks and he thought they would not be a good fit. After talking to him after and putting together what dcparents said and what dcks did (dcb was sneaky, talked back, refused to pickup, dcg pouted over everything, horded toys, and also refused to follow any instructions or pick up) we decided not to offer them the spots. We are both taking classes this Jan and need a small or easy group so one or the other of us can do it on our own when we need to.

The problem is that I gave them the impression the spot was theirs if they wanted it. Usually if it looks like it wont work I tell the parents we have other interviews scheduled and we will let them know. I didn't do that in this case because they are looking for care starting next week and I thought we would be accepting them if they chose us. What is the best route to go now? Should I call them and say we have other interviews planned and I will let them know, or that after discussing it we don't feel that we are the best fit for their needs, or that we filled the spot? I have her phone number, no email though.

Thanks so much for any advice!!

[Cradle2crayons]

We had an interview this evening for a 3yo and 4 yo sibling pair. I spent the interview talking to dcm and dcgpa and even though there were a few things dcb is "full of energy" and "excitable", they need open to close care and dcg has many many allergies) it seemed like it would be workable , but hubby (dcpartner) spent the interview w/ the children and our other dcks and he thought they would not be a good fit. After talking to him after and putting together what dcparents said and what dcks did (dcb was sneaky, talked back, refused to pickup, dcg pouted over everything, horded toys, and also refused to follow any instructions or pick up) we decided not to offer them the spots. We are both taking classes this Jan and need a small or easy group so one or the other of us can do it on our own when we need to.

The problem is that I gave them the impression the spot was theirs if they wanted it. Usually if it looks like it wont work I tell the parents we have other interviews scheduled and we will let them know. I didn't do that in this case because they are looking for care starting next week and I thought we would be accepting them if they chose us. What is the best route to go now? Should I call them and say we have other interviews planned and I will let them know, or that after discussing it we don't feel that we are the best fit for their needs, or that we filled the spot? I have her phone number, no email though.

Thanks so much for any advice!!

I would just fall her and say

"I really enjoyed the interview with your family. I was just touching base to let y'all know when we finish up with all of our interviews, I'll let you know"

Maybe not go I to details as to why.

[Cat Herder]

hubby (dcpartner) spent the interview w/ the children and our other dcks and he thought they would not be a good fit.

we decided not to offer them the spots.

DH made the decision, let him make the call.

[JoseyJo]

DH made the decision, let him make the call.

LOL riiiight The way we do our interviews I focus on talking to the parents and he focuses on the daycare kids and the interviewee kids. He is right about it not being a good fit, I just didn't know it until after we got together and compared notes after. I just need to make sure to tell every family that we will let them know, even if I think they are a good fit. That way we can talk about it after and decide

[Cat Herder]

LOL riiiight

:::::: It was worth a try...

You two need a code word. "Code Bebe's Kids!!"

[jenn]

I had a similar situation. DCM and I were in one room and I left our interview feeling like it would be a great fit. My husband, DCD, and the DCKs were in the playroom and he saw and heard a whole different situation than what I saw. The dad was very open about some behavioral problems, some confrontations between the mom & previous provider, and how they were leaving the old daycare due to the provider not being flexible with them bout being late & paying late. This was early on, right after I had opened, before I felt comfortable using my backbone. After hearing about the mom being very confrontational (including a shove) at the previous place, I didn't really want to start any problems. I called them the next day, and said that someone I had interviewed awhile back had filled the positions and that I would let them know of any future openings. Yes it was a lie, but I avoided the confrontation.

[JoseyJo]

I had a similar situation. DCM and I were in one room and I left our interview feeling like it would be a great fit. My husband, DCD, and the DCKs were in the playroom and he saw and heard a whole different situation than what I saw. The dad was very open about some behavioral problems, some confrontations between the mom & previous provider, and how they were leaving the old daycare due to the provider not being flexible with them bout being late & paying late. This was early on, right after I had opened, before I felt comfortable using my backbone. After hearing about the mom being very confrontational (including a shove) at the previous place, I didn't really want to start any problems. I called them the next day, and said that someone I had interviewed awhile back had filled the positions and that I would let them know of any future openings. Yes it was a lie, but I avoided the confrontation.

This is what I was thinking, but she found me by my CL ad, and went to my website. So if I tell her I filled the spots, but then continue to advertise won't she call back?

[Cradle2crayons]

This is what I was thinking, but she found me by my CL ad, and went to my website. So if I tell her I filled the spots, but then continue to advertise won't she call back?

I advertise year round to add clients to my waiting list. If she asked me after the spots were filled I would say "even when here aren't positions open, I continue to advertise to keep the word of mouth going and to add to my wait list ". If she insists, I can pretend to add her to my wait list.... Right at the bottom

[MamaBearCanada]

What about

Hi Susie, we really enjoyed meeting your family on Tuesday. Due to a change in circumstances within the group of our current daycare children we are unable to offer your children a place at this time. However, if you wish we can add you to our wait list and call you when 2 vacancies open.

If she asks what's changed just answer with an "I'm sorry but I cannot disclose that. I'm sure you appreciate the need for confidentiality when dealing with children."

[Laurel]

You could be honest and say "After rethinking things, we decided that we will not be able to accomodate your children after all but it was nice to meet you."

If they ask why say "Well honestly, the children were not well behaved when they were here. Sorry."

Then that's it. I wouldn't elaborate if they persist. Just tell them "Sorry, it won't work out." That way you won't have to worry about your ad, etc.

Laurel

[JoseyJo]

:::::: It was worth a try...

You two need a code word. "Code Bebe's Kids!!"

I just told him that last night! He said he could hear me talking and it sounded like I was offering them the spot (which I pretty much was) and he was trying to get my attention so he could shake his head noooo ::

I noticed the gate going upstairs was bent this morning and hubby said dcb was shaking it so hard he thought he was going to pull it off its hinges (he is almost 5!). Hubby said "no, no we don't go upstairs" dcb says (while still trying to pull gate off) "why?, I want to go up there" Hubby says "It's just bedrooms, we don't go up there" DCB continues to try to pull the gate off until hubby physically removes him and redirects- at almost 5 yo!!

[Shell]

What about

Hi Susie, we really enjoyed meeting your family on Tuesday. Due to a change in circumstances within the group of our current daycare children we are unable to offer your children a place at this time. However, if you wish we can add you to our wait list and call you when 2 vacancies open.

If she asks what's changed just answer with an "I'm sorry but I cannot disclose that. I'm sure you appreciate the need for confidentiality when dealing with children."

[MotherNature]

You could be honest and say "After rethinking things, we decided that we will not be able to accomodate your children after all but it was nice to meet you."

If they ask why say "Well honestly, the children were not well behaved when they were here. Sorry."

Then that's it. I wouldn't elaborate if they persist. Just tell them "Sorry, it won't work out." That way you won't have to worry about your ad, etc.

Laurel

Sounds good.

[JoseyJo]

I called her and was just honest- We don't feel we are the best fit for your family, it was nice meeting you and best wishes on your search for childcare.

It was uncomfortable, but at least I am done with it now!

[Laurel]

I called her and was just honest- We don't feel we are the best fit for your family, it was nice meeting you and best wishes on your search for childcare.

It was uncomfortable, but at least I am done with it now!

Laurel