So Bossy

[dingledine]

One of the dck that I watch is almost 4, most of the time she plays with my 4.5 year old daughter like a dream. They play awesome imagination games, and so on. However, nearly ALL of the imagination games are the dck ideas, to the point of even telling my daughter, verbatim what to say. MOST of the time things go well. However, I feel that this is REALLY bossy, and I am getting tired of it. Not only that, there are times when my daughter will disagree, or say she doesn't want to play that particular game, or my daughter will refuse to be the prince (they are the only two big kids, the other two are toddlers), and the girl will pout, storm off, say I don't want to be your friend, you (my daughter) ruined my life, and so on. Today she didn't want to leave the daycare, and she plowed my daughter down, on her way around. Also, she flips her body around incessantly, all around my house, couch, just flipping, twisting her body.

I'm not terming, as the parents and I are working together, and her and her brother are leaving end of Jan, as the mom is going to SAHM after this. I want to keep these clients for now, as after they go I'm not sure whether I will fill their spots or not.

I just not sure what to do on the interm. I'm lucky, and not feeling biased when I say that my daughter is IDEAL for a daycare, as she LOVES babies, other kids, plays great, is very social, loving, sharing, adapting. So, this is frustrating, and I don't want her to start getting used to just doing whatever other kids always say, when she starts K next year. I'm not sure how to balance this, nor do I WANT to constantly supervise their play. When the girl says, I don't want to play with you anymore... I'm thinking good... please don't. This sort of thing doesn't happen very often, maybe only on a bad day, every few weeks. Otherwise, they are usually good, but she is still always seeming to dictate what should be done, with very little resistance.

Thoughts?

[Cradle2crayons]

One of the dck that I watch is almost 4, most of the time she plays with my 4.5 year old daughter like a dream. They play awesome imagination games, and so on. However, nearly ALL of the imagination games are the dck ideas, to the point of even telling my daughter, verbatim what to say. MOST of the time things go well. However, I feel that this is REALLY bossy, and I am getting tired of it. Not only that, there are times when my daughter will disagree, or say she doesn't want to play that particular game, or my daughter will refuse to be the prince (they are the only two big kids, the other two are toddlers), and the girl will pout, storm off, say I don't want to be your friend, you (my daughter) ruined my life, and so on. Today she didn't want to leave the daycare, and she plowed my daughter down, on her way around. Also, she flips her body around incessantly, all around my house, couch, just flipping, twisting her body.

I'm not terming, as the parents and I are working together, and her and her brother are leaving end of Jan, as the mom is going to SAHM after this. I want to keep these clients for now, as after they go I'm not sure whether I will fill their spots or not.

I just not sure what to do on the interm. I'm lucky, and not feeling biased when I say that my daughter is IDEAL for a daycare, as she LOVES babies, other kids, plays great, is very social, loving, sharing, adapting. So, this is frustrating, and I don't want her to start getting used to just doing whatever other kids always say, when she starts K next year. I'm not sure how to balance this, nor do I WANT to constantly supervise their play. When the girl says, I don't want to play with you anymore... I'm thinking good... please don't. This sort of thing doesn't happen very often, maybe only on a bad day, every few weeks. Otherwise, they are usually good, but she is still always seeming to dictate what should be done, with very little resistance.

Thoughts?

My only thoughts are trying role playing. For instance. They start and your daughter is the prince. Then after x minutes you say "let's switch" and have hem switch. Make it exciting to switch. Model the switch a few times if you need to.
I've had a few kids I've done his with and it worked,

Also, have you tried just stepping in a few times when dcg goes off and saying "wow, that would have hurt my feelings if y said that to me. Daughter, are your feelings hurt? Dcg if I said that to you wouldn't it hurt your feelings" etc.

No other ideas except nasty attitudes have consequences. When she storms off or acts rude does she get a consequence? If so, what have you tried?

[Josiegirl]

I have one just like that, except she's not even 3 yet. She thinks nothing of pushing everybody else out of the way so she gets a turn. She hid under the kitchen table yesterday at lunch, when her friend came in from prek, and kept saying she didn't want to say hello, that N was a bad girl. Ugh. She has to rule the play and have her say, constantly. Very strong-willed and stubborn child. No matter what we try to do it becomes a battle of wills with her and she's been pretty mean to her prek friend here lately.
No help here, just lots of commiseration.

[dingledine]

I have put her into time-out a couple of times, such as when she said that my daughter ruined her life. I also talked to the parents, and then the parents talk to her, which is effective for a while, usually. As for my daughter being the prince, she isn't THAT much of a follower thankfully, and she won't ever be a prince, because "I am a girl!". My daughter is very girly, and either way, is fine with me. I talked to my husband about it the other day, and although my husband said DCK isn't a great influence on our daughter, it is more because of the way she talks, and that she is sullen, a LOT. I think the girl watches a significant number of shows, PBS, and Disney, and she picks up a LOT from those. My daughter is a natural mimic, so although she mimics behavior, she doesn't necessarily keep it for her own. Maybe it is more an issue for ME, I get tired of the other girl always trying to rule the nest, rule the games, and so forth. Most of the time, my daughter doesn't seem to mind. I just am not sure how to discourage this in general, and I should consider myself lucky that 95% of the time they are playing happily together, awesome made-up games. As for my daughter, she is happy when the girl comes, and happy when the girl doesn't come. She seems pleased either way.