How Long Should 4 Year Old Nap

[Chickenhauler]

Thanks for all the comments. Just another bit of info here. She has been sleeping in her parents bed since birth and just about a month ago, they tried to get her in her own room. Needless to say, the child told me on Monday, that her mom just moved her bed into her parents room.

WOW. This kids 4 years old?

Obviously the father must have a girlfriend....I don't know of any man who would allow this to go on for 4 years (kid sleeping in the bed, no "marital time" available).


We have to keep in mind that not all kids are the same-my son was one of those kids who no longer "needed" a nap by the time he was 3....if he got a nap for two hours, he would not fall asleep at a decent hour. He just turned 5, and is up with the sun, going full steam ahead all day, and he's still not out of gas by 10 many nights. And I'm talking being outdoors ALL DAY LONG, not just sitting and vegging out.

He'll go to bed (sometimes under protest), but he's not tired.

I was the same way, and so are my nephews.....I think we're "cursed" with that gene that lets us get by on less sleep than average.

[AmandasFCC]

chickenhauler - that's true, I also was one of those kids who didn't need a nap. I was very active, and yet even when I was a baby there was no nap time for me. BUT I was very respectful and when I was told to lie down for naptime, I laid down, closed my eyes and tried REALLY hard to sleep. When I couldn't sleep, I continued to lay down without moving, pretending to sleep so I wouldn't get in trouble at daycare . Personally, I don't mind having a kid stay up if he can't sleep. The one I was just complaining about who decided he wanted to start screaming at nap time has been just fine lately. He lays down with the other kids, gives me about 10 minutes of "me" time before I grab him and we go and do a craft or something. He's really quiet, actually whispers for the duration of our craft time, and we have a great time together. When we're done doing our craft, then he goes to the living room and plays quietly while I clean up and do MY chores. If the kids are disruptive and inconsiderate, though, obviously this won't work...

[Unregistered]

an exception

What if the 4-year-old won't go to sleep until after 11:00, even if he's in bed by 8:30 - 9pm?

We start our bedtime routine between 8 and 8:30 so that bath, teeth, jammies, stories and all are complete and lights are out before 9:00. By 11:00 last night, he was in bed, but still wide awake. This is pretty much how it goes every day....until weekends when we tend to skip naptime. Then he's out by 9:30.

[a concerned mom]

Day Care Rest / Naps

I have a 4 year old who has to lay on a mat for 1 and a half hours at her preschool/day care center. She can't get her little body to rest/sleep. The teachers reward the resting sleeping children with stickers. So every day my daughter comes home crying thinking she did something wrong because she gets no reward. Every child is different. To force a 4 year old to lay on a mat for that long doing nothing is bizarre to me. Could someone please post the Maryland state regulation that says child care workers must force a child to lay on a mat for 2 hours.

I think I read that regulation at one point and it states that a child care center must offer a nap area and a rest period but it is up to the child if he/she wants to nap or rest. I understand the need for quiet time but please this is crazy the way you think you can force children to sleep or sit still on a mat when their bodies are not able to do so.
Stop and really think about the power struggle you are creating. The feeling of shame you are creating in these children when you are telling them to do this and if they don't something is wrong with them.
You are interrupting the regulation all wrong. This regulation was to support and understand the needs of the child not to give the care giver a break.

Read and reread the regulation with each individual child in mind. Then please, please listen to the parents who knows more about their own child then the person in government that wrote a regulation that is being misused.

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

When my 3rd girl was 4, if she napped during the day she couldn't fall asleep at our normal 8-8:30p.m. bedtime...we have a routine every night and no TV in bedrooms.

I am a provider now and I understand the need for a break, but I wouldn't be rude to a 4 year old and make them do nothing for 2 hours if they were not tired. I don't have a 4 year old in care, but if I did and he/she was not tired, I would have them understand it's quiet time and do something quiet like look at books or play with playdough.

[Unregistered]

Letting children have quiet time is cool, until the little angel decides quiet time is for the birds and hey, if their awake, everyone else needs to be awake also.

So what exactly should be done with the children who don't "need" naps, but insist their playmates don't need their naps either?

[Cantan]

Ah todays parents!!!

" If he/she naps to much, he/she will not sleep enough tonight"....so not true.

Actually there's some studies on this and they're conclusive: napping is very important for children and do not affect sleeping at night. What affects sleeping at night is more within the family's routine in the evening and weekends.

This is becoming more and more a problem for centers and family day cares.

At our center, we pretty strict with the 2h window and we mention it at registration.

[GretasLittleFriends]

Letting children have quiet time is cool, until the little angel decides quiet time is for the birds and hey, if their awake, everyone else needs to be awake also.

So what exactly should be done with the children who don't "need" naps, but insist their playmates don't need their naps either?

If I had a child like that I would explain to that child, "since you're growing up, you get to stay awake while the little kids take a nap. This is a privilege for you. I know you want to play with your friends, they are busy right now. If you're naughty and wake them up, you will have to lay down and take a nap."

I would also make sure I had plenty of quiet activities for them. Perhaps even once a week letting them play a computer game for 1/2 hour (with headphones on). I've got some great jump-start (educational) games for my own son. So maybe if (s)he's good all week, Friday is his/her special day?

[sarahtheresa02]

It's not about "forcing" a child to sit on a mat for 2 hours. It's called "rest time". If they fall asleep thats even better, but they must do something quiet so the rest of the kids can sleep whether its reading a book or coloring. Most of the kids I have are under 3 and look forward to nap time. A few days a week I have a kindergartener who is here during nap time. She is allowed to sit on the couch and pick a movie to watch. She is quiet for the entire movie. About 2 hours. After that she can color.

Our state requires a minimum 2 hour "rest time" for all daycare centers/facilities. The bedtime of a child is what the parent sets when they are at home. My kids start their bedtime ritual during the week at 8:00. They are in bed by 8:45. They dont fall asleep right away and usually until 9:30 or so I can still here them rustling around and talking to each other. But its the parents decision as to when they put their kids IN THEIR BEDS.

One more thing... about late naps. I have 2 kids who are 13 mo and 16 mo. They get here before 7:30 and they go back to sleep for about an hour or so. They nap from 12:00 to 2:00-2:30. Sometimes, NOT all the time, they are also in need of an afternoon nap between 4:00-5:00. It's not an everyday thing but sometimes babies need more sleep time. I dont wake them until pick up time unless they wake before that themselves. At that age parents are happy that they napped as much as they wanted because that makes them happier kids when they get home. The parents I have put their kids to bed between 8:00-9:00 every night.

Enough of my rant but I think its every providers call during the day and the parents responsibility at night. I am not going to allow a child to suffer from exhaustion because the parents dont want them to sleep. Not my problem.

[Guest]

son sleeps too long at daycare too

I completely understand the need for quiet time at daycare, however, I am in the same boat with a lot of these parents - if my 4 year old son naps at school, he doesn't fall asleep at home until 10:30-11. He only goes to preschool 2 (full) days a week - per Ohio law, the child must have the "rest period" not because the state mandates SLEEPING, but rather it is the teacher to child ratio that drives the centers policy. At 4 years of age, the ratio of teacher to child goes up to like 1:12 kids. When the kids are "resting" (on their cot) the ratio doubles to 1:24. And this is when the teachers take their breaks - each one takes 1 hour. If a child gets up from their cot during this time, they are immediately out of compliance with the state law.

My son does not nap 5 days out of the week, and only goes to sleep at preschool. He has a good routine, up at 7 am, busy all day, and bed at 8-8:30. No TV in his room or other distractions, has never slept in our bed, does not have any sugary stuff from dinner to bedtime. On the 5 days he doesn't nap...he is great, in bed and passed out within 15 minutes. On the two school days, he struggles and yells for us, for 2-3 hours because he is bored or not tired, or needs more books or whatever the excuse. I don't believe it is our fault he can't fall asleep or that we have a poor routine for bed time. It is pretty clear to me, the day care nap throws him off his natural bodily "routine."

I have read the posts, and I have done my homework with how sleep affects kids. And its true, when they are littler, the more sleep, the better. But I do feel the daycare is not really trying to work with us. I have asked that he be taken to another room when the other kids lay down, but they just stare at me blankly. Or how about bringing in someone else so if a child does want to get up, they are not out of compliance? Or how about working with another classroom and designate one room for the "napping" kids, and the other room for the kids who don't nap.

I am not blaming the teachers and I don't think the child providers should always blame the parents. I can't be the only parent who is having these issues at this day care!

[Janet]

Try to think of it this way...

There are lots of kids for us to consider. I realize that it's a huge pain for the non-napper and the non-napper's parents but consider this: the non-napper shouldn't be allowed to wake up the rest of the kids just because he/she isn't tired and is rady to play. I am a home daycare provider so I don't have another teacher to send mine to if they decide that they don't feel like napping. I have to think of eveyone's well-being. I don't force naps but I do enforce quiet time. It's just not an option. If a kid doesn't fall asleep, that's fine, they just to have to be be quiet (no toys!!!) but if they do fall asleep, then I let them sleep. Their little bodies aren't meant to be forced awake anymore than they should be forced to sleep. Also, home daycare providers wouldn't get a break at all if it weren't for nap time. We don't have anyone to cover our breaks and if no one napped, then that would be absolutely no break at all for us.

[AmandasFCC]

Exactly. Home daycares are at a particular disadvantage to parents who don't want their kids to nap. My rule is, you HAVE to lay down. You don't have to sleep, but if you do, I'm not going to wake you. If a child falls asleep as soon as they lay down, guess what, they NEED that sleep, as much as the parents want to say they don't. I have no problem waking them up after an hour or so, but if they wake up miserable, then who is that really serving? Not me, and certainly not the child. If a child doesn't fall asleep, then they rest for a while, and if they are capable of playing quietly, they are permitted to do so after they rest for at least half an hour. If they're too noisy though, back to the cot they go. Period.

[laundryduchess@yahoo.com]

straight from my contract

My contract that the parent agrees simply states the following.

ALL children in care take a nap each day. Please do not let them ‘sleep in’ if they were up late the night before daycare. I promise to make sure they get their rest.

[Unregistered]

is it a law?

Is it a law (in NYS atleast ) that children in day care need to nap or is it the decision of the provider?

[Unregistered]

Unbelievable

I am a parent of a 4 year old and to be honest, I am appalled at the comments made by some daycare providers on this message board. Wow. Ms. Sue: "It's not the child with the issue- it's the parents - as usual". How presumptuous and wrong you are. I am a teacher, and we are taught that the parents are the first and most important "teachers" of their children.

My son, even though he does not need a nap would always nap given the opportunity-- placed in a quiet dark room...of course he would. So would I. And this was the case at his in-home daycare. I spoke with the provider, whom he loved, and she was as stubborn as you all, and said all kids must rest for those two hours. Since he was the oldest child at daycare, she was UNWILLING to make an exception for him. And since he regularly fell asleep, she did not listen to me, and ASSUMED that I was WRONG and she was RIGHT.

When he was at home, he never napped and was fine. He would go to bed at a reasonable hour (8:00) and wake up around 7:00. When he would go to daycare and had a nap, he consistently said "I'm not tired! I'm not tired!" at night and would be up until 10:30. This was not due to my LACK of parenting skills or ability. He was TRULY not tired.

Turns out, I pulled him from his daycare which he loved for this VERY reason. He is now at Montessori preschool and flourishing. They do not require a nap and he is doing lovely, on a regular schedule and learning/playing for two extra hours instead of being forced to nap. I am so happy I made this decision.

Parents know best. And if you are unwilling to meet a reasonable request in the best interest of the child then you shouldn't be practicing daycare.